Christian guys confuse me!

[zeroturbulence]

A christian man who wants a woman to think he is a good christian wouldn't make clear indications that he wants to have sex.

 

[marryrose28]

They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us.

1 John 2:19



Liz, I believe I can relate to you on this. My heart actually hurts with you because I know what it feels like to really be genuinely interested in someone and the very next moment that person be a shadow or ghost to your very existence. I don't agree with that. Accountability these days seems to have gone completely out the window, Christian or not, and that's just sad. I had met a girl I was going to church with, and her name was Meagan, really sweet down to Earth person, and she seemed like a good hearted Christian woman. I finally got up the nerve to ask her out, and we went out on a few dates, and we started to get to know each other, and saw each other at church. Next thing I know, she's no longer my friend on Facebook, and she has stopped coming to church, and when I tried to message her to reach out to her and see if she was ok, she had blocked me from contacting her on messenger. I asked around to a few friends, to maybe get some input on if I had said something wrong, or done something, but apparently she wasn't who I thought she was, and with some people, if you stand back and observe, it doesn't take long for their true colors to bleed through, Christian or not, but I will say this, if a person is in Christ, they are not going to conduct themselves in that manner, that would be the same thing as deception, and we know our Lord and Savior is not the author of that, and we are to walk in the light, as He is in the light. You sound like a very nice beautiful lady, and I truly admire that you are taking the initiative to live for Christ and not work the way the world does, partying, drinking, drugs, that's an honor and blessing! If you're ever looking for someone to chat with, I'm no stranger, I'll be more than happy to talk to you!

There are just things that are not meant to stay. As Christians, let us not forget that God is always true to his promises. He will not take you this far if he's not going to let you through it. Although it's painful and a little bit hard, delight in the idea that something/someone better will come along.

Just want to share the post that I read several days ago.

"Let go of the idea that you will find a perfect partner. Make yourself productive during your single years. Focus on your goals. Build something that matters. Be the best person for your future partner and pray that she's doing the same thing."

 

[LittleMermaid]

Most guys flirt without much thought. I know even some who are married with kids and do all of the things you just described. To them, it's not a big deal. To us women, we start thinking that he likes us and wants to go out with us. It really sucks...but I have learned to not take them seriously. Don't take any flirting from a man seriously until he asks you out.

Also, let them chase you. Let a guy add you on facebook. You don't go looking for them.
Finally, if he's very good looking (you said he was) he has a ton of girls after him already. So a guy like that has many options. Not that you are not a worthy pick...but I mean that he probably has girls ready to sleep with him every night. As a man...even a Christian man, he wants sex. It doesn't matter if he grew up Conservative or Christian...sex is on his mind. So I agree with your friends that he probably wanted to sleep with you. Good on you girl for not doing that!

I think its better to be a person who is outgoing and has lots of friends and is loved and adored by people than, like, a person who doesnt have any friends and sits in their room playing video games and eating Doritos all day.

There is a difference between a man who is adored by many people and one who has a ton of female friends that make comments on his social media...esp with hearts. It IS a dead giveaway, hun. I know from experience. Those guys have a ton of female friends because they flirt like no one's business. Stay away from guys like that. But also stay away from the video gaming Dorito eating loser. I hate Doritos! lol But seriously video gaming isn't bad...unless he plays all day. Then it's bad!
Check this site out...it has helped me so much.
https://letmenchaseyou.wordpress.com/when-to-let-him-go-and-move-on/

 

[MichaelOwen]

I think its better to be a person who is outgoing and has lots of friends and is loved and adored by people than, like, a person who doesnt have any friends and sits in their room playing video games and eating Doritos all day.

Technically speaking...yes....but when you're talking about having nothing but female friends and things of that nature, that usually screams that this guy might be a player....if you're just sitting in your room eating doritos you're just plain lazy....God gave me one body, and one body only, and I run and workout and shoot hoops when I can. But you got a little taste of what his character might be like, the advantage? You didn't get hurt, and sometimes God gives us that perspective to teach us a lesson. Sure, outgoing can be done the right way, but there are many wolves in sheeps clothing

 

[Jewel5712]

A christian man who wants a woman to think he is a good christian wouldn't make clear indications that he wants to have sex.

I just think thats a given that every man wants sex.....christian or not..some just dont admit it..or at least...right away....

 

[Deva_1972]

Wanting sex though, and specifically setting out for it are two different things....a guy (and girls too of course, but in this case we are talking about a guy) who is a Christian will want sex because he is human, plain and simple. But that doesn't mean that they will set out specifically for it with intent, but is probably open to it happening if it takes that route naturally. I hope I am explaining my point properly on this - I guess I will find out LOL

 

[Deva_1972]

Most guys flirt without much thought. I know even some who are married with kids and do all of the things you just described. To them, it's not a big deal. To us women, we start thinking that he likes us and wants to go out with us. It really sucks...but I have learned to not take them seriously. Don't take any flirting from a man seriously until he asks you out.

Also, let them chase you. Let a guy add you on facebook. You don't go looking for them.
Finally, if he's very good looking (you said he was) he has a ton of girls after him already. So a guy like that has many options. Not that you are not a worthy pick...but I mean that he probably has girls ready to sleep with him every night. As a man...even a Christian man, he wants sex. It doesn't matter if he grew up Conservative or Christian...sex is on his mind. So I agree with your friends that he probably wanted to sleep with you. Good on you girl for not doing that!



There is a difference between a man who is adored by many people and one who has a ton of female friends that make comments on his social media...esp with hearts. It IS a dead giveaway, hun. I know from experience. Those guys have a ton of female friends because they flirt like no one's business. Stay away from guys like that. But also stay away from the video gaming Dorito eating loser. I hate Doritos! lol But seriously video gaming isn't bad...unless he plays all day. Then it's bad!
Check this site out...it has helped me so much.
https://letmenchaseyou.wordpress.com/when-to-let-him-go-and-move-on/

I don't know how simply adding a guy on Facebook is "chasing" them though?? I think, and no offense, that that is a rather strict viewpoint. Chasing them would be a guy being passive and a girl being desperate and saying they want to do this and that, if they haven't had a base of a friendship first. Otherwise we would NEVER have friends of the opposite sex at ALL!! From what the OP has said, she just was intrigued and wanted to keep in touch, why is that a wrong thing?? And yes, guys want sex because they are human, but it doesn't mean they are setting out to have it. I think we can get really nitpicky about stuff like this and not live at ALL, and what would be the point of that, is every girl supposed to lock herself up? I think not! LOL

Also, if a guy is purposely leading girls on when he flirts, then that is wrong, yes! But some are just naturally nice though and they cannot help it if a girl likes them, how is that ALWAYS the guys fault??

 

[Deva_1972]

I just think thats a given that every man wants sex.....christian or not..some just dont admit it..or at least...right away....

Its not only guys though...anyone who is anybody wants sex because, like I said, we are only human beings. Be honorable yes, but at the end of the day we can't be robots If we have a thought, it means we are human, if we dwell on it, it means we are sinning, plain and simple!

 

[Demi777]

You will find that most european countries population that calls themself "christian" arent born again. Theyre just normal people who gre up with religious studies in school and believing that God exists but never end up trying to get to knowhim

 

[Deva_1972]

You will find that most european countries population that calls themself "christian" arent born again. Theyre just normal people who gre up with religious studies in school and believing that God exists but never end up trying to get to knowhim

That is actually a very good point and very true! I grew up with a lot of European people in my small town and DEFINITELY noticed the same thing. And flirting means different things to many different people, I find too. I am shocked when people have thought I was flirting with them and had bad intentions when that was so NOT the case - it really grossed me out when I was told that too!

 

[Demi777]

That is actually a very good point and very true! I grew up with a lot of European people in my small town and DEFINITELY noticed the same thing. And flirting means different things to many different people, I find too. I am shocked when people have thought I was flirting with them and had bad intentions when that was so NOT the case - it really grossed me out when I was told that too!

dont get grossed out. pray for them, make your point clear (set a good seed with that). its lost human nature. I live in germany (called a christian country because most people pay church tax catholic or lutheran) most people take christian as a title because they got baptised as a child, took communion or confirmation etc.
Some dont even believe anything but use it to get money from their relatives and friends

 

[Deva_1972]

dont get grossed out. pray for them, make your point clear (set a good seed with that). its lost human nature. I live in germany (called a christian country because most people pay church tax catholic or lutheran) most people take christian as a title because they got baptised as a child, took communion or confirmation etc.
Some dont even believe anything but use it to get money from their relatives and friends

Just want to clarify - when I say I get grossed out, because I am sickened by the fact that someone thinks I wanted something impure from them because I don't like being misunderstood. Or else it leads to a lot of condemnation on my part, which isn't right because I did nothing wrong, but my mind is like that. And yes, I have made it clear MANY times that I am just a friendly person, nothing else lol
Very true about the titles and such and subsequent trickery with saying they are a Christian and such...not good!

 

[Demi777]

Just want to clarify - when I say I get grossed out, because I am sickened by the fact that someone thinks I wanted something impure from them because I don't like being misunderstood. Or else it leads to a lot of condemnation on my part, which isn't right because I did nothing wrong, but my mind is like that. And yes, I have made it clear MANY times that I am just a friendly person, nothing else lol
Very true about the titles and such and subsequent trickery with saying they are a Christian and such...not good!

i only get grossed out under certain circumstances
while I am taken..if a guy knows I have someone and tries... that is just disgusting
or when I was single when really old men in their 70s tried to hit on me and stuff...that was like..dude go to your wife b4 I call her for ya...LOL
thats why I always ask people if they are charimatic, go to church or which church so I got a smallpicture lol

 

[LittleMermaid]

I don't know how simply adding a guy on Facebook is "chasing" them though?? I think, and no offense, that that is a rather strict viewpoint. Chasing them would be a guy being passive and a girl being desperate and saying they want to do this and that, if they haven't had a base of a friendship first. Otherwise we would NEVER have friends of the opposite sex at ALL!! From what the OP has said, she just was intrigued and wanted to keep in touch, why is that a wrong thing?? And yes, guys want sex because they are human, but it doesn't mean they are setting out to have it. I think we can get really nitpicky about stuff like this and not live at ALL, and what would be the point of that, is every girl supposed to lock herself up? I think not! LOL

Also, if a guy is purposely leading girls on when he flirts, then that is wrong, yes! But some are just naturally nice though and they cannot help it if a girl likes them, how is that ALWAYS the guys fault??

Well...if it's a guy you hardly know, I think it comes off as desperate.
I do have pretty strict viewpoints so no offense taken. Nothing wrong with wanting to keep in touch with the guy...but I feel like maybe sending him a request AND commenting on his youtube video was too much. Actually I know it was too much because it didn't go over well.
I didn't mean for women to go lock themselves up. I just think that we girls ought to be careful not to take flirting from men seriously. They flirt with us and we sometimes think they are into us...but a lot of men just like to flirt.
And finally, I never said it was the guy's fault if girls like him. It is his fault if a bunch of girls like him because he is flirting with many of them constantly...

 

[NotmebutHim]

I confuse myself all the time!

 

[Demi777]

I confuse myself all the time!

hmmm that gives your nickname a completely new meaning
*looks at clock
am I ever going to sleep today..its aleady 1.10am LOL

 

[MichaelOwen]

hmmm that gives your nickname a completely new meaning
*looks at clock
am I ever going to sleep today..its aleady 1.10am LOL

Can't soar with the eagles in the morning if you're hooting with us owls at night!

 

[Demi777]

Can't soar with the eagles in the morning if you're hooting with us owls at night!

maybe I am an eagle own..hoot toot and soar

 

[Deva_1972]

Well...if it's a guy you hardly know, I think it comes off as desperate.
I do have pretty strict viewpoints so no offense taken. Nothing wrong with wanting to keep in touch with the guy...but I feel like maybe sending him a request AND commenting on his youtube video was too much. Actually I know it was too much because it didn't go over well.
I didn't mean for women to go lock themselves up. I just think that we girls ought to be careful not to take flirting from men seriously. They flirt with us and we sometimes think they are into us...but a lot of men just like to flirt.
And finally, I never said it was the guy's fault if girls like him. It is his fault if a bunch of girls like him because he is flirting with many of them constantly...

Well if a guy flirts very outrageously and overtly, then yes, its wrong to lead them on, not to mention NOT FAIR!! As for not taking men seriously when they flirt, I have known that since my late twenties and now if I know a guy is like that, I make sure I don't get too wrapped up into that or wish for something that they CLEARLY are not wanting, which is a relationship. I also sort of call them out on it and basically tell them that I know they like everyone so please stop trying to make me feel as if I am the ONLY one you call when you are not...THAT drives me up the wall and it gets them scared away pretty quick! LOL As for two comments being too much, depends on the guy and how they interpret it, but I don't think that is too much in general. It all depends (at least in my opinion) on context and the individual situation. Maybe having that friendship base first makes a difference.....

 

[melita916]

also, we live in a world that being nice to someone is often mistaken for flirting. when I worked for a chiropractor, I often saw 2 elderly strangers carry on a conversation because that's how things used to be. but if there were 2 young people waiting for the doctor, they were usually lost in their phones.

I remember years ago, I went on a missions trip. on the way home, one of the guys sat next to me. we talked and talked and talked, and I was like "does he like me? is he just being nice? what gives, yo!" he didn't flirt with me. we just kept the convo going. we became good friends. we eventually ended up at the same college, and we would hang out. even people thought we were together. I liked him. I had no idea if he liked me. turned out he didn't cuz we stopped hanging out together as much. we were still friends though. so..... the moral of the story is.... we were just friends. lol.