the bear thing above made me remember this one: two guys out hiking and they stumble across a bear. the bear begins to chase them. guy no.1 says " man, I don't think we can outrun this bear". guy no.2 says " I don't have to outrun the bear I just have to out run you!!"
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missy2014
Guest
In another car incident, Gorbachev was late from getting to the Kremlin from his house. He told the chauffer, "Look we are running late so let me drive. I insist." So He told the Chaufer to get in the back and he drove. Meanwhile the police were given strict orders to ticket anyone speeding no matter how important. So they were speeding down Moscow and two motorcycle cops pulled them over but didn't ticket him after he saw who it was. He goes back to the station and talks about it and was asked, "Why didn't you ticket him? "Too important." "Who was it?" "I didn't recognize him, but his driver was Gorbachev!"
Castro was making a speech to a large assembly. Someone out in the crowd said, "peanuts popcorn crackerjack." This happened about 4 times. So Castro gets annoyed and says, the next man who says that gets deported to Miami. The entire crowd stands up and yells, "POPCORN! PEANUTS! CRACKERJACK!"
Two men, an American and a Russian were argueing. One said, in my country I can go to the white house walk to the president's office and pound the desk and say "Mr president! I don't like how you're running things in this country!" The Russian said "I can do that too!"
"really?"
"Yes! I can go to the Kremlin, walk into the general secretary's office and pound the desk and say, mr. secretary, I don't like how Reagan is running his country!"
last 3 jokes by none other then Ronald Reagan
"really?"
"Yes! I can go to the Kremlin, walk into the general secretary's office and pound the desk and say, mr. secretary, I don't like how Reagan is running his country!"
last 3 jokes by none other then Ronald Reagan
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BurdenBarer4U
Guest
This is one joke on how not to make a sandwich,
but will make you laugh 15 times until you cry!
[video=youtube;bS1ePEZZCDY]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bS1ePEZZCDY[/video]
but will make you laugh 15 times until you cry!
[video=youtube;bS1ePEZZCDY]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bS1ePEZZCDY[/video]
Question: What is the difference between Catholics and Baptists?
Answer: Catholics will actually acknowledge each other at the liquor store.
Answer: Catholics will actually acknowledge each other at the liquor store.
Question: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
Answer: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup."
Answer: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup."
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missy2014
Guest
Ive dated a baboon before but he left me hanging
I dated a shark he bite my head off
The last dude had a real temper he was explosive I kinda got burnt like he was so angry he was spewing I think they call it lava?
Anyway Im just your average girl ive had alot of experience with dating.
I dated a shark he bite my head off
The last dude had a real temper he was explosive I kinda got burnt like he was so angry he was spewing I think they call it lava?
Anyway Im just your average girl ive had alot of experience with dating.
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missy2014
Guest
my mum was tired at night one time we were playing a board game with us and we i cant remember i think we had to add or subtract for the points and it was like a simple thing I think she had to add a new score like 8 points plus five points she got real annoyed with me cause she was getting it wrong and couldnt add it up I was laughing at her but it was so funny I said like " oh my gosh you cant add 8+4?
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GaryA
Guest
Question: Did your hear about the man with a broken left arm and broken left leg?
Answer: Don't worry he's "ALRIGHT" now!
Answer: Don't worry he's "ALRIGHT" now!
A drunk walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck. The bartender says, "You can stay but don't try to start anything."