ClingFree

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Jullianna

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Are you the clingy type? I'm notoriously ClingFree to the point that a lot of guys get the idea that I'm not interested, even if I am. Maybe I should work on that.

I'm leaving on a roadtrip now. No phones. No work. No drama. Just freedom, lots of scenery and no junk clogging up my brain for a few days.

But I'll be peeking in here, so let me know what you think. :)

blessings!
 

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First of all, enjoy your road trip. Getting away and decompressing from time to time is always a good thing. I know that a lot of the time after decompressing I look at things a lot differently and with better clarity.

I think everyone approaches developing relationships differently, some people dive in and give it 110% immediately, others hold back to see where things are headed before jumping in. I don't think either is really right or wrong necessarily, just different. I think for both extremes sometimes it's just a matter of personality, other times its a matter of emotional issues and only they will be able to know for sure which it is.

I do think there's a difference between those who dive in immediately and give it 110%, and those who "cling." Cling-ons tend to emotionally unstable people who are latching on to fill a emotional hole that no person can fill. Likewise there is a difference between a person who is more reserved, and someone who holds back out of fear. Self protectiveness is a somewhat natural response in someone who has been deeply hurt in relationships, but likewise can end up causing them to miss out on truly experiencing love.

Of course us guys have the benefit of knowing ahead of time that we're interested and want to dive in, whereas a lot of the time the ladies have to wait until we make that first move before even starting the decision process.


 
I'm sure cligny should bother me, but it really doesnt. I'm really laid back so if someone wants to leach onto me i dont know... it just doesnt bother me. If i start to get crowded i say you need to back off, if he doesnt. Then i just never talk to him again.
 
-I like my women indifferent distant and detached. My woman should have a lack of interest in sharing enjoyment, interests, or achievements with me or other people. She should also be stuck in a rigid routine, that cannot be deviated from or else she will have an emotionall episode. She should always refer to herself in third person or just not at all. She should avoid eye contact or any form of relational personal expression. She will hard to read but easy to make happy. I will give her a rocking chair out front, a crochet set, some math problems, and a dog to pet. It will be hard to know if she is happy at first but in the end, I'm sure the lack of complications to our life will be comforting to us. We will both value our time alone, our independence, and our isolation.



-Being with a clingy woman is like being with a Zombie. I always have to fight her off and she is always trying to get at my brains. Clingy women always try to get me to do things, be spontaneous, active, or just in general creative. Clingy women always want to spend "Quality Time" with me and care way too much about what I think. Clingy women also do weird things like remember my parents birthday, help me wrap Christmas presents, leave thank you notes for me to find, wash my car, or take a sick day when my pet dies. Clingy women are also way too touchy feely. They want a hug practically once a day or every time I see them. They ask way too many questions about my day and listen far too intently to my responses. Also whenever I take a road trip, they don't just want me to be safe or take pictures, they actually want to go with me.

:P
 
Okay..that's wierd. I do about 85% of the things Liamson described the clingy woman doing, but am seriously anti-clingy. How does THAT work? :D

I said ClingFree, not Ice Queen :p
 
Oncefallen said:
First of all, enjoy your road trip. Getting away and decompressing from time to time is always a good thing. I know that a lot of the time after decompressing I look at things a lot differently and with better clarity.

I think everyone approaches developing relationships differently, some people dive in and give it 110% immediately, others hold back to see where things are headed before jumping in. I don't think either is really right or wrong necessarily, just different. I think for both extremes sometimes it's just a matter of personality, other times its a matter of emotional issues and only they will be able to know for sure which it is.

I do think there's a difference between those who dive in immediately and give it 110%, and those who "cling." Cling-ons tend to emotionally unstable people who are latching on to fill a emotional hole that no person can fill. Likewise there is a difference between a person who is more reserved, and someone who holds back out of fear. Self protectiveness is a somewhat natural response in someone who has been deeply hurt in relationships, but likewise can end up causing them to miss out on truly experiencing love.

Of course us guys have the benefit of knowing ahead of time that we're interested and want to dive in, whereas a lot of the time the ladies have to wait until we make that first move before even starting the decision process.
Click to expand...

This is exactly why guys need to give us time to process the information once we get it. They may get the impression that we aren't interested if we don't respond full throttle right away, when we are simply digesting this new information.
 
Jullianna said:
Okay..that's wierd. I do about 85% of the things Liamson described the clingy woman doing, but am seriously anti-clingy. How does THAT work? :D

I said ClingFree, not Ice Queen :p
Click to expand...

I think that you have negatively stereotyped what it means to be clingy.

Its one thing to be there, its something entirely different to feel like you are dating a Lemur who thinks you and his tree home are one and the same.

Cute_Picture_72.jpg
 
To me, being clingy is most def a negative thing.

There is affectionately and adoringly actively participating in the life of the person you love, which to me would consist of the majority of the things you described above, and then there is the clingy person whose purpose in life appears to be suffocating the snot out of you. :)
 
Jullianna said:
To me, being clingy is most def a negative thing.

There is affectionately and adoringly actively participating in the life of the person you love, which to me would consist of the majority of the things you described above, and then there is the clingy person whose purpose in life appears to be suffocating the snot out of you. :)
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this all boils down to perspective.

"the difference between a romantic and a stalker is success." -ME :)

For one, doing all that I said was clingy, IS clingy. For someone else, its just right.



So if I showed up to her work with flowers and a coffee. She might feel flattered or she might look anxious and pensive. It all depends.

Everything is a case by case basis (^_^)
 
Clingy guys have deep issues. That's really all that needs to be said about it.

Women prefer Bling not Cling.


...............BLING - Good............................................................CLING - Bad...............
yellow+gold+diamond+ring.jpg
images
 
zeroturbulence said:
Clingy guys have deep issues. That's really all that needs to be said about it.

Women prefer Bling not Cling.


...............BLING - Good............................................................CLING - Bad...............
yellow+gold+diamond+ring.jpg
images
Click to expand...

That sounds kind of like the relationship between mugger and mugee. Or whatever the term for someone who got mugged is.

"Just give me the jewelry and back slowly away." :p
 
Liamson said:
this all boils down to perspective.

"the difference between a romantic and a stalker is success." -ME :)

For one, doing all that I said was clingy, IS clingy. For someone else, its just right.



So if I showed up to her work with flowers and a coffee. She might feel flattered or she might look anxious and pensive. It all depends.

Everything is a case by case basis (^_^)
Click to expand...

not........................................................this has become ridiculous

Thanks for the thread trash
 
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I'm the clingy type, but not because I have deep issues. I'm only clingy in the sense that when I am on a date or hanging out with a girl that I am seeing I always want to be close to her and either holding her hand or sitting next to her or having good eye contact. The last woman I dated even told me I was clingy but she said she didn't mind it.

I'm not clingy in the sense that I don't call or text her several times a day, I don't go nuts if I can't see her for a few days, and I don't mind if she'd rather hang out with her friends.
 
Well after reading everybody else's responses I don't know if clingy is negative or positive. I've never been in a relationship but based on my closest friendship relationships I gues I am clingy but not in a negative type. I'm only clingy when a person is also clingy with me, and we enjoy being clingy with each other :) haha does that make sense? There are friends with whom I wouldn't care doing almost everything together, and there are other friends with whom I just don't have that closeness, and after a time with them I would want them to leave me alone. I understand what space is though, even with my closest friends, because I myself enjoy my time alone when I need it.

Hmmm after reading again I think that you Dianna were talking about a negative, obsessive type right? In that case, I guess Im not. I like sharing and I'm friendly, over this last year I have learned that it's best to show people that you care about them... but I don't think I would want to share even the same breath with somebody else ...
 
zeroturbulence said:
I'm not clingy in the sense that I don't call or text her several times a day, I don't go nuts if I can't see her for a few days, and I don't mind if she'd rather hang out with her friends.
Click to expand...

Hmmm, I don't think that's really clingy. In fact, I'd go so far as saying that's would probably disappoint me (assuming a girl did it). If the intention of dating is marriage, as it has always been for me, then I want to know what I'm getting in to. I don't NEED to talk to them a lot every day, but I want to. Spend as much time as I can with them. In my relationships, we have really been a part of each others lives. Not just see each other here and there on specially planned occassions, but just about every day.

As for clingy in general, I am a very physical person (a physical guy, no way!). When I'm with someone I care about, I'm all for holding handing, hugging, arm around her waist, small of her back... When at home, always being close to her is my desire.

I do think you have the emotionally clingy people, the ones that spam text you because they need you, or don't trust you. Then there are the physically clingy people who want to be in contact with you whenever they can be. In the end, independence is important, but desiring to be with someone really is the end goal, isn't it? To be with someone just about every day for the rest of your life. If the affection and exchanges aren't all one sided, I don't think I'd classify it as clingy.
 
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