Communication Error

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Krumbeard

Krumbeard

Well-known member
#21
Apr 15, 2019
1,139
773
113
#21
LittleMermaid said:
Why do men usually say (maybe jokingly or maybe not) women are complicated and not easy to understand? I don't get that. I think it's men that are difficult to understand lol. But then again, I am a woman so maybe that's why?

So men...why do you feel this way? Or are you one of the few men who do understand women? Tell us about it.

Women, do you find men difficult to get? Do you ask them for something and they still don't understand what it is you want?

In what ways could the sexes come together and communicate better with each other?
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I was watching a movie last night with my boys. One scene this teenage girl made cookies for a boy for a camping trip he was going on. She was talking nice to him and then looking intently at him. The boy didn't get it. (I know it's just a movie. )

My 14 year old was watching at this part and says "Ewe, why is she acting so creepy?"

It made me laugh as this thread came to mind.

On a more serious side, when I was married my wife used to get annoyed with me because I didn't understand or get the way she thought because of the things she went through as a child. Even though she tried explaining many times it was very hard for me to understand. I did care but not having been through what she had been through I didn't get it.

She was also the type to be vocal during a fight. Lay out her thoughts and hopefully mine. She wanted to deal with things and get them in the open. I on the other hand would think I was doing some good deed by trying to act as if I was okay or the issue wasn't worth an argument. In time that backfired.
It would have been better to just be honest rather than pretending.
 
M

mar09

Senior Member
#22
Sep 17, 2014
4,927
1,259
113
#22
LittleMermaid said:
Why do men usually say (maybe jokingly or maybe not) women are complicated and not easy to understand? I don't get that. I think it's men that are difficult to understand lol. But then again, I am a woman so maybe that's why?

So men...why do you feel this way? Or are you one of the few men who do understand women? Tell us about it.

Women, do you find men difficult to get? Do you ask them for something and they still don't understand what it is you want?

In what ways could the sexes come together and communicate better with each other?
Click to expand...
I really appreciate the thread, lm. I was talking with a ptr the other week, who said it can be difficult for the left-brain dominant person to understand the predominantly right-brained one. But this is just as teachers have to learn to train and practice themselves to reach and understand their students who are a mix of both. I have tried so hard to 'block' my own way, or think as my husband's very logical/analytical way, but realize God wired me this way, so now continue to pursue my right-mind skills, although i still need to take effort to understand the men in my life, incl. the kids!

Ive also learned from the other posts here, valuable lessons some i shared w/ the guys.
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#24
Aug 12, 2011
10,464
2,692
113
#24
Sunday morning. Husband and I are getting our instruments to go to church. He had his amp in one hand and the car keys in the other. I had my violin in one hand and his bass in the other. All that was left to grab was his guitar. He said, “grab the guitar.” I was confused for a whole minute because I couldn’t understand how he expected ME to grab the guitar to take to the car when I already had 2 instruments, and he had a free hand. He looked at me with a “i don’t see what the problem is here” kind of look. “C’mon or we’ll be late.”

Turns out, what he meant was for me to PASS the guitar to him so he could take it to the car. But he didn’t say that! After it was all cleared up, we laughed and laughed. Lol!
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#25
Mar 13, 2014
42,595
17,062
113
69
Tennessee
#25
melita916 said:
Sunday morning. Husband and I are getting our instruments to go to church. He had his amp in one hand and the car keys in the other. I had my violin in one hand and his bass in the other. All that was left to grab was his guitar. He said, “grab the guitar.” I was confused for a whole minute because I couldn’t understand how he expected ME to grab the guitar to take to the car when I already had 2 instruments, and he had a free hand. He looked at me with a “i don’t see what the problem is here” kind of look. “C’mon or we’ll be late.”

Turns out, what he meant was for me to PASS the guitar to him so he could take it to the car. But he didn’t say that! After it was all cleared up, we laughed and laughed. Lol!
Click to expand...
He was just strumming you along.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#27
Aug 13, 2014
27,379
9,388
113
#27
mar09 said:
I really appreciate the thread, lm. I was talking with a ptr the other week, who said it can be difficult for the left-brain dominant person to understand the predominantly right-brained one. But this is just as teachers have to learn to train and practice themselves to reach and understand their students who are a mix of both. I have tried so hard to 'block' my own way, or think as my husband's very logical/analytical way, but realize God wired me this way, so now continue to pursue my right-mind skills, although i still need to take effort to understand the men in my life, incl. the kids!

Ive also learned from the other posts here, valuable lessons some i shared w/ the guys.
Click to expand...
Exactly. The trick is to keep thinking like yourself, not try to change the way you process information, but still try to understand how other people process it differently.

Which is harder than it sounds, but still a lot easier than changing how you think.
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#28
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#28
Communication error happens when we assume. Never assume. Always ask questions. Men don't talk much. It is women that tend to talk a lot. Therefore who is assuming much? Lol!

The best words to say to avoid misunderstandings are: Please, Thank you and I'm sorry.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#29
Aug 13, 2014
27,379
9,388
113
#29
Who says men don't talk much? You've never been to one of my clan's family dinners. We eat for half an hour, but the family dinner lasts a good three hours or so.

I mean sure, the women talk a bit. But the men out-talk them easily.
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#30
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#30
Lynx said:
Who says men don't talk much? You've never been to one of my clan's family dinners. We eat for half an hour, but the family dinner lasts a good three hours or so.

I mean sure, the women talk a bit. But the men out-talk them easily.
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I know. I was kidding. I like a talkative and funny guy sometimes. But there is something attractive and mysterious about a man of few words but full of wisdom. And sometimes a loud talkative man or woman can be a turn off because per scripture, the more words you say, the more you tend to say something that you regret.
 
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