Grace777, you said something - think it was in this thread - about the Holy Spirit being like...a downpayment or a portion of our inheritance. Don't remember your exact words.
So, when I experience His Presence in me, it is too fleeting. I sit there saying, no,no please don't go, come back. And I've thought before that I just want Him because of the joy He fills me with and that I am not desiring Him just because of who He is. That I'm selfish.
But...how could there NOT be dissatisfaction when He goes from my awareness? There's something more for me, not just this downpayment or portion. There's more! How could I not desire that?? This joy I had never had before...is only a PORTION. I can't even imagine the WHOLE inheritance...my mind just kind of goes blank on that.
So, when I experience His Presence in me, it is too fleeting. I sit there saying, no,no please don't go, come back. And I've thought before that I just want Him because of the joy He fills me with and that I am not desiring Him just because of who He is. That I'm selfish.
But...how could there NOT be dissatisfaction when He goes from my awareness? There's something more for me, not just this downpayment or portion. There's more! How could I not desire that?? This joy I had never had before...is only a PORTION. I can't even imagine the WHOLE inheritance...my mind just kind of goes blank on that.