Courtship?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Remember the movie 'sleepless in Seattle' about a long distance relationship, from Seattle on the west coast to New York on the east?

Well in NZ its more North and South. And going to the South Island from the North can be expensive, its cheaper to go to Australia!
 
I need to talk to people on phone to the least. Just by writing, I can't feel the personality.

I made a few lady friends from internet. We talk on phone often. If not, I felt the friendship is going down south, losing touch.

Still meeting in person often is my favorite.
 
  • Heart
Reactions: seoulsearch
Churchgoer said:
I need to talk to people on phone to the least. Just by writing, I can't feel the personality.

I made a few lady friends from internet. We talk on phone often. If not, I felt the friendship is going down south, losing touch.

Still meeting in person often is my favorite.
Click to expand...

I'm always fascinated by communication, the different ways it can be achieved, and how different forms can affect people in very different ways.

During the World Event That Shall Not Be Named a few years ago, I was part of an online chat group consisting of maybe 20 members from CC. It was interesting to hear how the world being shut down affected people differently.

A fellow introvert said he felt like he was been born for that moment, because he loved not having to face anyone in person, and was fine with all contact being online and through text.

And then there was another member who was an extreme extrovert and fighting off severe depression, because she couldn't handle being unable to be around people in person.

I don't know what happened to the group -- I decided to leave when someone told me in front of everyone that I wasn't Christian enough (by their standards.) I don't know if or how long it continued.

But I've often thought of how maybe that chat was designed to get its members through That Particular Event, as it gave the extroverts a place to vent daily, and the introverts a way to experience just enough contact with others.

One group, yet it served two different populations with completely opposite needs...

It really is amazing to see how God works things out!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Churchgoer and dkontner
seoulsearch said:
I'm always fascinated by communication, the different ways it can be achieved, and how different forms can affect people in very different ways.

During the World Event That Shall Not Be Named a few years ago, I was part of an online chat group consisting of maybe 20 members from CC. It was interesting to hear how the world being shut down affected people differently.

A fellow introvert said he felt like he was been born for that moment, because he loved not having to face anyone in person, and was fine with all contact being online and through text.

And then there was another member who was an extreme extrovert and fighting off severe depression, because she couldn't handle being unable to be around people in person.

I don't know what happened to the group -- I decided to leave when someone told me in front of everyone that I wasn't Christian enough (by their standards.) I don't know if or how long it continued.

But I've often thought of how maybe that chat was designed to get its members through That Particular Event, as it gave the extroverts a place to vent daily, and the introverts a way to experience just enough contact with others.

One group, yet it served two different populations with completely opposite needs...

It really is amazing to see how God works things out!
Click to expand...
I just realized, there are many introvert people out there, and online chat is a great communication tool .

I never even thought about it. In real life, I didn't communicate with introvert people :)

I do know people who hate public transportation, public pool.... but I am not sure that's introvert?
 
  • Heart
Reactions: seoulsearch
Oh those endless zoom meetings.

One some days people had three in a row and it was just tiring. lol

One teacher organised a trivia zoom and it went on for 2 hours or so to kill time.

I tried doing a story time zoom but had technical difficulties. I don't think children are designed to watch tv for hours at a time, unless you hypnotised them.
 
Lanolin said:
Who says it's a man? They have waitresses at the Hello Kitty Cafe who can take photos you know.
Click to expand...
I’m pretty sure your absence of a denial just said it for you. Instead of saying who it was, you’re telling us everyone it could’ve been? P0olease…

Mem said:
Good dodge. :sneaky:
Click to expand...
If women only realized how often they get dodged while they’re distracted by the wrong guys… A decent guy isn’t going to break you up, fight for you, win you over. He just walks right on by and you’ll never know he was interested!
 
Lanolin said:
Yea imagine if I had a private plane, I'd still need to drive up to the airport but where there used to be one (domestic) is now housing. The main international airport is about 40 minutes away (with traffic) so its not right on my doorstep.
Click to expand...

I know where I live is different, so I can't make an exact comparison. But, I do think that travel shouldn't stop people from meeting. If they really want to and are able to, of course.

I was in a relationship with someone I met online. We bumped into each other years ago on another forum site, he added me on fb, and then we were just fb friends for a couple of years. We didn't communicate much. One year on my birthday, he wished me a happy birthday and we started chatting and then talking on the phone and then eventually I flew there. I live in a small city, so I'd have to travel 50 miles to get to an international airport. Then from there, it was almost 800 miles to my destination as the crow flies (of course longer when you are flying if you do like I do and have layovers). Our relationship lasted 7 years and then transitioned into friendship. And actually, since my family has passed on, I consider him and my best friend to be my family now.
Anyway, I traveled 18 times. Note: I did the traveling because he was/is not capable. I'm physically capable and I enjoy flying (except the waiting at the gate part ugh lol), so it didn't bother me to do the traveling. However, this is not to say that I think everyone should do what I did! Please, stay safe!! I did a lot of praying and the Lord kept me safe. Also note, in case anyone is wondering, I had my own room when traveling!

Anyway, I just wanted to say that if traveling doesn't bother you and you are capable and you feel a pull to the person (of course, pray about it!) and you both are mutually invested in meeting and moving forward if things work out, then done safely I think it's worthwhile.

As the saying goes, the only things in life we regret are the risks we didn't take.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: Churchgoer and seoulsearch
Levib said:
I’m pretty sure your absence of a denial just said it for you. Instead of saying who it was, you’re telling us everyone it could’ve been? P0olease…


If women only realized how often they get dodged while they’re distracted by the wrong guys… A decent guy isn’t going to break you up, fight for you, win you over. He just walks right on by and you’ll never know he was interested!
Click to expand...
Really? Maybe in this new generation.

I know years ago guys will win girls over if they are truly interested. But that was old school seeing in person days.
 
  • Heart
Reactions: seoulsearch
So if you meet someone who's out of town say more than 4 hours drive away...or in another country where are you going to stay...at a friends place? Couchsurf? pay for a motel/hotel room?

This seems to be a lot different than a date to marry courtship scenario, where you just basically decide the person you date is going to marry you.

You were friends for at least couple of years. But then what happened, did you get engaged or did you just live together for 7 years?

Well anyway I heard that in the future we (kiwis) may not need to have passports to enter Australia. At the moment we do.

I don't know how levib feels about this he basically said I had to fly to his country by Saturday and I'm like uh, how. Since he doesn't have a passport, how can he come to mine? Invade? lol
Pay for my ticket?

Date...ONLINE?

Anyway, he can argue what he likes, but my heart is already broken since he took up with Edith... :cry: ❤️‍🩹
 
Levib said:
If women only realized how often they get dodged while they’re distracted by the wrong guys… A decent guy isn’t going to break you up, fight for you, win you over. He just walks right on by and you’ll never know he was interested!
Click to expand...
This reminds me a of decent guy who just either waved or nodded a valediction toward me when our paths walking home from school approached the point divergence. Ultimately, he went off to college in California and was killed in a collision with a semi-truck.
 
  • Sad
  • Like
Reactions: Levib and seoulsearch
Levib said:
If women only realized how often they get dodged while they’re distracted by the wrong guys… A decent guy isn’t going to break you up, fight for you, win you over. He just walks right on by and you’ll never know he was interested!
Click to expand...
We have to look at what they do as opposed to what they say. Learned that in high school when they said one thing (decent and kind blah blah blah) and did another, like competed with each other over the attention of the otherwise neanderthal school jock, not known for kindness, intelligence, etc. Taylor Swift, Travis Kelce comes to mind, loosely.
 
Mem said:
This reminds me a of decent guy who just either waved or nodded a valediction toward me when our paths walking home from school approached the point divergence. Ultimately, he went off to college in California and was killed in a collision with a semi-truck.
Click to expand...
Approaching females for dates or whatever comes with a risk and i am not seeing where you expressed any interest in him. But expected him to take all the risks and heavy lifting. Females generally have no problem expressing interest in alphas who are not necessarily kind and lovable but are more likely to be high earners and achievers. On the other hand, he may not have been interested in you or was not ready or had other priorities that did not include all the dating craziness. Who knows? From your brief description, it sounds like he went off to college alone so mixing it up with any females may not have been on his bingo card at that time.
 
Lightbeamrider said:
Approaching females for dates or whatever comes with a risk and i am not seeing where you expressed any interest in him. But expected him to take all the risks and heavy lifting. Females generally have no problem expressing interest in alphas who are not necessarily kind and lovable but are more likely to be high earners and achievers. On the other hand, he may not have been interested in you or was not ready or had other priorities that did not include all the dating craziness. Who knows? From your brief description, it sounds like he went off to college alone so mixing it up with any females may not have been on his bingo card at that time.
Click to expand...
One day, while we were yet in middle school, he and his friend came and sat across from me in study hall (the friend plopped down while he sat with a stiffer composure), but it seemed to me as 'on purpose' considering how suddenly they appeared. His friend did all the chatting, I don't remember about what, while he was just smiling pleasantly. He could've been there just for support, I don't know. His sister was congenial toward me so I, even if only grasping at straws, at least think that he'd never thought ill of me.
 
Mem said:
One day, while we were yet in middle school, he and his friend came and sat across from me in study hall (the friend plopped down while he sat with a stiffer composure), but it seemed to me as 'on purpose' considering how suddenly they appeared. His friend did all the chatting, I don't remember about what, while he was just smiling pleasantly. He could've been there just for support, I don't know. His sister was congenial toward me so I, even if only grasping at straws, at least think that he'd never thought ill of me.
Click to expand...
i remember being uncomfortable around females at that age. Afraid I would blow it and say or do something stupid. Rejection was to be avoided at all costs so that means oversensitive on top of it. My experience consisted of informal kissing soirees in the basement of Karen's home with daddy upstairs. Usually three couples. My time would have been better spent with the brain across the street playing chess since he later married and became a scientist. Both his mother and mine were friends from church. Lost touch with Karen after high school and all the others since i ended up in the Navy halfway around the world. The others went on to college. Never did cold calls with females. That is approaching unknown females and attempting to strike up conversations that lead to dates. Saw other males do it with ease. It was not a skill i developed. Interactions were usually spontaneous, with females asking if they needed help or commenting on what they were doing. The art of conversation was mostly lost on me. That kinda remains to this day. Sat with another female from work, trying to think of things to talk about, and ended up talking about the Powerball being so high and how many tickets we were going to buy. Me two and her one. I like her, but that is about it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Mem
It's hard to keep up a conversation with someone with whom you have absolutely nothing in common.
I'm like bruh....don't talk to me if you just gonna yawn in my ear.
 
It's now Sunday and my former courtship partner has not done anything to redeem himself.

Instead he''s kind of insulted and humiliated me *cry* by calling me names, like 'gold digger'

What's a girl to do?
 
Lightbeamrider said:
We have to look at what they do as opposed to what they say. Learned that in high school when they said one thing (decent and kind blah blah blah) and did another, like competed with each other over the attention of the otherwise neanderthal school jock, not known for kindness, intelligence, etc. Taylor Swift, Travis Kelce comes to mind, loosely.
Click to expand...
What is the verdict on the Taylor Swift marriage?

I don't know her that well, other than she's dated a tonne of guys, broken up with them, then wrote a lot of songs as revenge for her broken heart.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back