Crumbling marriage
- Thread starter VictorianJesus
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I'm very sorry to hear your situation like everyone here, this is a hard place to be in. So how exactly does he look at this. I mean I know you said he thinks you should be over it and gets triggered by it being brought up, but how did he react when you first confronted him on it? Was he dismissive from the jump, or did he show guilt and apologize to you? Did you ever feel like he was really sorry for it at any point? Does it bother him that it hurts you? I'm just curious if he ever showed remorse for hurting you at least.
My husband was dismissive saying that it did not have anything to do with our marriage. He treated me with contempt and still does when I bring up the subject. I do not think he is sincerely sorry and does not show any empathy for me. I do not think he is capable of feeling empathy for how this has devastated me. He has said he is sorry, but I do not believe he is truly remorseful.
i am sorry to hear of these troubles. i wish for you immediate spiritual healing.
what to do:
1. become a born again Christian immediately if you are not one.
2. pray to Jesus about all the concerns. ask Him to show you all the wrong elements.
3. go to your favorite quiet place & search yourself & admit, identify, recognize & correct all your faults. being dishonest in any area can obviate a solution.
4. find a known trusted Christian pastor & or counselor, & meet with said person, you & your husband.
5. pray & believe, don't for 1 moment let you belief stray.
6. sometimes a trusted friend can render proper advice.
almost always, if a guy is viewing porn, there's something he's not happy about concerning the relationship. of the fine personal details of romance, see if you were denying him something. that is almost always the case. about beauty, Adrian Rogers once said, "women, keep yourselves beautiful for your husbands". blessings to you. i will pray for you.
what to do:
1. become a born again Christian immediately if you are not one.
2. pray to Jesus about all the concerns. ask Him to show you all the wrong elements.
3. go to your favorite quiet place & search yourself & admit, identify, recognize & correct all your faults. being dishonest in any area can obviate a solution.
4. find a known trusted Christian pastor & or counselor, & meet with said person, you & your husband.
5. pray & believe, don't for 1 moment let you belief stray.
6. sometimes a trusted friend can render proper advice.
almost always, if a guy is viewing porn, there's something he's not happy about concerning the relationship. of the fine personal details of romance, see if you were denying him something. that is almost always the case. about beauty, Adrian Rogers once said, "women, keep yourselves beautiful for your husbands". blessings to you. i will pray for you.
Hello VictorianJesus, I'm sorry to hear that it has come to this for you and your family but, hopefully, a separation (if that is what the Lord is leading you to do now) may help him realize why the porn he is addicted to needs to go.
I haven't had any experience with family members addicted to porn, but I've had/have alcohol and drug addicts, and it's simply horrible. The thing is, when people are truly addicted to something like one of the above, whatever they are addicted to becomes, far and away, the most important thing in their life, even more important than their families or even God Himself (they do, I believe, so desperately want what they are addicted to that it, in a very real sense, becomes their "god"/what they worship).
There are hospitals, in and outpatient rehab facilities, sober houses and AA meetings, etc. for drug and alcohol addicts, so surely this is something similar for those addicted to porn, too(?) Perhaps your pastor would know where your husband could go for help .. when he wants help, that is (he cannot be forced to seek help, it just doesn't work .. which is where things like separations and interventions come in .. to help him make the difficult decision that he needs to make right now, to turn away from his addiction).
Please keep us (and, of course, your pastor) updated whenever you can, and whenever you want/need us to pray for you, etc., going forward Most importantly, trust God to see you through all of this .. e.g. Proverbs 3:5-6.
Praying for you now, your family and, of course, your husband.
God bless you!! (Isaiah 41:10)
--David
I haven't had any experience with family members addicted to porn, but I've had/have alcohol and drug addicts, and it's simply horrible. The thing is, when people are truly addicted to something like one of the above, whatever they are addicted to becomes, far and away, the most important thing in their life, even more important than their families or even God Himself (they do, I believe, so desperately want what they are addicted to that it, in a very real sense, becomes their "god"/what they worship).
There are hospitals, in and outpatient rehab facilities, sober houses and AA meetings, etc. for drug and alcohol addicts, so surely this is something similar for those addicted to porn, too(?) Perhaps your pastor would know where your husband could go for help .. when he wants help, that is (he cannot be forced to seek help, it just doesn't work .. which is where things like separations and interventions come in .. to help him make the difficult decision that he needs to make right now, to turn away from his addiction).
Please keep us (and, of course, your pastor) updated whenever you can, and whenever you want/need us to pray for you, etc., going forward Most importantly, trust God to see you through all of this .. e.g. Proverbs 3:5-6.
Praying for you now, your family and, of course, your husband.
God bless you!! (Isaiah 41:10)
--David
Lamentations 3
22 The LORD’S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
Great is Thy faithfulness.
24 “The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I have hope in Him.”