I have taken a several weeks to get my head and feelings more clear! I am dealing with more then I ever thought I could/would. My life has never been easy and I was born into struggle. At my high point in life, I welcomed struggle. Right now, my heart is absolutely shattered and I can't even believe I am in reality. God is right here with me, and my new amazing church as really been a blessing.
On Christmas Eve my Fiancee, my 4 year relationship came to a crushing end. I was called by my fiancee and told she does not love me anymore. That she has not loved me for a year. I thought that was the worst. In the end it turns out she has been cheating on me for over a year with this guy from her work that I was also friends with. She called me to tell me all of this, while I was in Florida with family for 2 weeks. I was devastated, I was angry and most of all I was broken (I still am). I immediately check my phone bill, which she was on and yes the moment I got on that plane those two started texting each other.
This was all so deliberately done. I flew back to Minnesota with my parents, I packed up everything I had and I left. I left to Florida, to be with my family. My dream for years has been to be with my family, and to live in Florida near then. At times my fiancee would hold me back from chasing dreams like those.
Last year was one of the hardest I have ever experienced. I am in desperate need or prayer. I have become depressed again and I am really struggling. My new church has been a blessing but I can not stop feeling depressed and betrayed. In the end God gave me so much, I am in Florida, and I am with my family. My ex just has a new boyfriend, and I know that he will not put up with the things she did to me. I do not wish her anything but the best. I am so angry and have such a hatred for her that I am struggling to prayer for her.
Please pray that anger would not consume me, pray that I may be strong and overcome this. Please pray that my dreams of her and my depression will fail into God's hands. I really need hope and something to hold onto as I feel myself slipping away
On Christmas Eve my Fiancee, my 4 year relationship came to a crushing end. I was called by my fiancee and told she does not love me anymore. That she has not loved me for a year. I thought that was the worst. In the end it turns out she has been cheating on me for over a year with this guy from her work that I was also friends with. She called me to tell me all of this, while I was in Florida with family for 2 weeks. I was devastated, I was angry and most of all I was broken (I still am). I immediately check my phone bill, which she was on and yes the moment I got on that plane those two started texting each other.
This was all so deliberately done. I flew back to Minnesota with my parents, I packed up everything I had and I left. I left to Florida, to be with my family. My dream for years has been to be with my family, and to live in Florida near then. At times my fiancee would hold me back from chasing dreams like those.
Last year was one of the hardest I have ever experienced. I am in desperate need or prayer. I have become depressed again and I am really struggling. My new church has been a blessing but I can not stop feeling depressed and betrayed. In the end God gave me so much, I am in Florida, and I am with my family. My ex just has a new boyfriend, and I know that he will not put up with the things she did to me. I do not wish her anything but the best. I am so angry and have such a hatred for her that I am struggling to prayer for her.
Please pray that anger would not consume me, pray that I may be strong and overcome this. Please pray that my dreams of her and my depression will fail into God's hands. I really need hope and something to hold onto as I feel myself slipping away