I have friends. I have a job. I go to church.
I'm also super lonely at times.
I sometimes feel like an outsider at churches because I'm not married and have no children.
It seems to me that if you hang around churches enough, you'll get the idea that life only really begins when you get married and have kids.
The Christian ideal is out there, communicated in subtle ways: the pretty little wife, the handsome husband in khaki pants, and two adorable kids. That is a world away from my existence.
I'm single, never married, no kids --don't want the kids. Pretty sure I'd like to marry some day.
But if I decide to stay alone for life, can I be happy? Can I be fulfilled?
Single Christian adults -- especially the older variety -- are neglected in churches.
There's an abundance of opportunities and teaching for married folks, parents, and young singles who are eagerly searching for their spouses.
I haven't heard much, if any, teaching on how to navigate life as an older Christian single person emotionally, financially, spiritually, sexually, etc.
Like, for instance, how do you deal with loneliness? How do you deal with sexual desires as a single person (because they don't just magically disappear)?
How do you plan for life and retirement when you're not sure if you'll be alone forever, and if you might have aging parents to take care of? How do you build a support group that can fulfill your needs for connection?
When you choose not to have children, how do you deal with the sense of loss? (This is something I deal with).
The Bible says that people are vulnerable when they're alone, so in my view single people need more attention than they're getting. And it would be great to have a place to openly talk about the difficulties of being a single Christian.
Because sometimes it sucks.
It can also be pretty great.
The sucky part is when you're lonely and want to cuddle (or something else), but yet again it's a Friday night with just you and the houseplant staring at each other.
The great part is that I don't have to deal with a screaming kid, and also it's nice that I can do what I want without having to check with a spouse first.
There's a lot of freedom.
But the freedom comes at a cost. And it would be nice if churches started doing more to minister to single folks of all ages -- because we ain't all getting married and having kids! And I think a lot of us are suffering in silence.
End of rant.
Night night.
I'm also super lonely at times.
I sometimes feel like an outsider at churches because I'm not married and have no children.
It seems to me that if you hang around churches enough, you'll get the idea that life only really begins when you get married and have kids.
The Christian ideal is out there, communicated in subtle ways: the pretty little wife, the handsome husband in khaki pants, and two adorable kids. That is a world away from my existence.
I'm single, never married, no kids --don't want the kids. Pretty sure I'd like to marry some day.
But if I decide to stay alone for life, can I be happy? Can I be fulfilled?
Single Christian adults -- especially the older variety -- are neglected in churches.
There's an abundance of opportunities and teaching for married folks, parents, and young singles who are eagerly searching for their spouses.
I haven't heard much, if any, teaching on how to navigate life as an older Christian single person emotionally, financially, spiritually, sexually, etc.
Like, for instance, how do you deal with loneliness? How do you deal with sexual desires as a single person (because they don't just magically disappear)?
How do you plan for life and retirement when you're not sure if you'll be alone forever, and if you might have aging parents to take care of? How do you build a support group that can fulfill your needs for connection?
When you choose not to have children, how do you deal with the sense of loss? (This is something I deal with).
The Bible says that people are vulnerable when they're alone, so in my view single people need more attention than they're getting. And it would be great to have a place to openly talk about the difficulties of being a single Christian.
Because sometimes it sucks.
It can also be pretty great.
The sucky part is when you're lonely and want to cuddle (or something else), but yet again it's a Friday night with just you and the houseplant staring at each other.
The great part is that I don't have to deal with a screaming kid, and also it's nice that I can do what I want without having to check with a spouse first.
There's a lot of freedom.
But the freedom comes at a cost. And it would be nice if churches started doing more to minister to single folks of all ages -- because we ain't all getting married and having kids! And I think a lot of us are suffering in silence.
End of rant.
Night night.
