Disconnected from church

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mystdancer50

mystdancer50

Senior Member
Feb 26, 2012
2,522
50
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So, tonight I made the decision to not go to church. Again. It has been such a long time since I have felt a real connection at church. I also don't feel that God is telling me to leave there to find another church home. The thing is that tonight I literally felt condemned. Despite my assurances in who I am and the fact that going to church doesn't dictate salvation, I wondered if I was truly saved, so much so that I had this question running through my head: am I going to go to hell because I don't want to go to church?

I know that church is vital to a Christian's growth. This is due to the need of godly fellowship and the need to hear sound doctrine/preaching and learn God's word. Why, then, do I dislike being in church so much? There are many reasons:

1. Pastoral changes. I had finally opened up to our pastor and his wife, felt accepted and welcomed, and then God called them to Wyoming. Wyoming, of all places! I am in New Mexico. So, I don't see them but once or twice a year now and I just feel so disconnected. The new pastor and his wife are so different from what I'm used to, from my first church to my current church. I just believe that judgments of others and concern for outer rather than inner man is prevalent. I can't find rest in the church.

2. No friendships. I have some older women that are friends with me and my mom, but I have no friendships my age. No one to call. No one to read the word with. No one to study with. No one to just hang out with.

3. Feeling stifled. I really do. I just feel like my call is stifled and will be. I felt this at the other church I attended for over 15 years. Now, having been here nearly 4 years, I just feel so stifled and I feel like there is no point in attempting to follow God's call because they aren't going to allow it regardless.

4. No connection. I don't have connection with the leadership or the body. I am just disconnected, unplugged, and the only reason I attend the services I do is because I have to, in order to keep up the appearances. I hate this. I hate this because I have no desire for the world and I don't want to leave God and serve the world. I want Him so badly and I just stand in the church unmoved and disconnected and annoyed and lost.

Yup.
 
well I am pretty much a recluse on the edge of a city. but hey i dont really know any better. ive spent pretty much 31 years alone. so meh.
 
meh you get used to it.

i guess it does change you after a while.. longer time alone the more you just don't like people. you fall into a routine and well, if someone buggers up said routine you end up not happy about it at all..
 
I can relate with all of those reasons. Especially number 4. I'll be asking God to help us.
 
3. Feeling stifled. I really do. I just feel like my call is stifled and will be. I felt this at the other church I attended for over 15 years. Now, having been here nearly 4 years, I just feel so stifled and I feel like there is no point in attempting to follow God's call because they aren't going to allow it regardless.

I understand what you mean about not feeling welcomed to do your call in the church building but maybe that is because God doesn't want you to do it in the building. I use to get so frustrated because I couldn't do it in the building, I felt I had all these gifts he had given me but I couldn't use them. He started to show me I can do it outside of the building. God started to show me if the church was the world where is he calling me too. I love evangelism so it was very frustrating for me but God has opened up so many doors outside the building to evangelise in different creative ways. Maybe you are a pioneer? Who knows what God could open up for you.
 
Hello, I am going through the exact same thing. Maybe, that is why I am feeling so melancholy with everything, including homeschooling. It is so refreshing to know I am not alone in this feeling :) You, are in my prayers! I am new to chatting. How do I friend request?
 
Diconnected and unplugged?

"... I wondered if I was truly saved, so much so that I had this question running through my head: am I going to go to hell because I don't want to go to church?..."

Allow me to say these things, and I'm not good at quoting the Bible without having it at hand: Are you saved immediately or by a life process?

I believe this is a process, but there is some tradition and teaching saying what you said (time will tell).

I believe YOUR church is the temple of your body, same way as Jesus told others, challanging them to destroy it. How is your body temple?

My temple is crawling in some things I desired, those things I think I miss, and I can admit His Presence is not in me. In fact, I have real problems to have Him to come down or inside, since I don't know how to call His attention to my thoughts, longs or words.

The church you have mentioned and tried to avoid is the same MANY still try to avoid for decades and centuries, but this happens when we acknowledged the personal emptiness we all have, deep inside, without God and His Spirit. How many denominations are there? How many churches claim to be right while millions follow -and seek- other "living" cult? (Cult to the EGOs, by the way).

The real church is that ONE He will raise up, any day and TODAY, each day. He has made and still making His church (Just see some people hear HIs personal voice, His dreams and warnings, while others lack His directions, because some are following rules and not His Spirit). I CAN BE COMPLETELY WRONG BY WRITING THIS, but I think I'm right. Are you as wrong as I am?

You or any could be as radical -or legalistc- as any may wish, but the church has gone to be pentecostalistic in the country where I live. You've mantion your "1st church", but todays the 1st church of many is that where you are pushed to give more money rather than helping the needy and their preaching is money, instead of love (you are right on that) and those things are easily BALANCE when you assume your own selfcontrol. Of course, if you don like people, like those I avoid in Venezuela, I will not say you are wrong, becuase I MISS not partaking in the "Lord's supper", which has turned to be a simple sunday's breakfast or that taken monthly or weekly. Didn't He say it was more important TO LIVE?

Well! I 'd better stopping it here.




 
Maybe you should try to change churches and see of another one fits you better. Maybe a different denomination fits you.
 
this is hard to do, but pull yourself away from that church and try somewhere else. I left a church last year where I felt the same way. I have going to a church I like very much since then. some situations are not right for you. sometimes we get stubborn and try to make things work instead of trying something else.
 
Well, i think many Christians can actually relate to how you feel now. I've felt that way before and still do sometimes.
But the Bible says not to neglect the gathering of the brethren,fellowship. The truth is that the primary reason you go to church is worship, for God..(Well, for me it is)
I go to this church that i could term "a social gathering"...it's really discouraging. But the hard truth i tell myself is that I'd rather be in the church than out of it..its too dangerous..(well, for me).
There's something about 'corporate worship and prayers'.....there's just somethin' about it.
Your going/not going to church doesn't change God(it can't) but it can change you..
I'm an introvert...I've not seen any of my friends or any one apart from my family in three months..i'm saying this so as to let u know i kinda understand.
About the pastoral changes why don't you try opening up once more to this new pastor? who knows?
About the no-friendship situation,is it that there are no people in that church that are not your age mates?
About feeling stifled..have you tried talking to anyone about it? Have you tried talking to anyone in the church about your call and your heart desires?
And about the no-connection situation, i'll assume that you've tried to make connection with the leadership or the church as a whole...Can you try to 'try harder in connecting with them?'
The truth is that every church has its on 'downs' and 'problems'....you should try changing churches, most probably you'll find another that suits you,better,ministers to you and accommodates your heart desires.
Well, you're in my prayers...but please try not to stop going to church...(Heaven will be a bigger church,you know so....don't stop practicing it here on earth.)
 
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I am praying for you dear Sister.......

1) Salvation is a gift from God, and that by Grace through "faith/belief" in Jesus Christ. Sanctification is a "process" we undertake once we are saved as we strive to walk Christ-like. FYI, so you do not have to doubt your salvation.

2) Discouragement is not uncommon among believers, even the Sanctified can become discouraged at times. However, in my experience, this discouragement comes from the "my" perspective of service, and not the "Him" perspective. When we begin to focus on "me," what I want, what I'm looking for, and not on "Him," what He wants for us, what He's looking for us to do. It is so easy to be distracted from Him, and so very hard to focus only on Him. However, this is the challenge for all believers in my opinion.

3) Be true to your calling. This is surely a "must" for all believers. We can get in a "rut" or "comfort zone" and stray from our calling simply because it is the "easy path" to follow. IF you are assured of your calling, then shake of the dust of the "rut," and find the "path" to your calling. Do what He has called you to do even if it turns out to require sacrifices on your part. Every Apostle sacrificed to preach the Gospel, to establish the Church, to spread the Good News, and every Sanctified believer today will know sacrifices as they follow the path He has chosen for them.

4) God does not call us to a life of "isolation." God does not call us to flee to the mountains and forsake the Church. Of what purpose would that be to Him? One might very well do this, and still be saved, but they could not be sanctified and NOT be involved in the Work of the Kingdom. Jesus spoke of the "lukewarm" believer, in Revelation if memory serves me. We are called to fulfill His purpose for us. To bear "fruit" for the Kingdom. How does one bear fruit in the wilderness? How does one witness to the lost in the wilderness? Jesus said the harvest is plenty, but the workers are few.....how does one reconcile a life lived in self-exile with what He would have us do?

5) It may well be time for you to "step out" of your comfort zone dear Sister, and take a "leap of faith." BE TRUE to Him, to your calling, and HE WILL BE TRUE TO YOU. Seek ye first the kingdom of God.........and on and on in Scripture, and don't be discouraged, rather in times such as these............REJOICE! Rejoice in the Lord. Surely as he lay in that dark prison cell, the Apostle Paul could have easily given in to discouragement, and believed he had been abandoned by God, but what did he do? He sang PRAISES to God.................and what happened?

(none of this may be anything close to what you wanted to hear, but it was what was in my heart to say........and know that whatever comes, you will be in my prayers..........God bless and keep, and guide you)
 
Thanks all. :-) I will write more when I get to a real computer later today. Typing on a Kindle Fire takes too long.
 
Does this sound familiar?

QUOTE: "I love Jesus. He is my everything! I am a creative soul. I take photos, make videos, write, draw, sing, dream...yeah, I'm all over the map." END QUOTE


JUST DO IT!

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