Whether you want to know or don’t, I would like to answer. My former self married a wonderful selfless woman who made me feel desirable when I felt average. She loved to keep a nice tidy house and pulled abilities out of me that I didn’t know existed. After four children and Facebook that woman transformed into something much different. Once she had children she used them to feed her ego and use their accomplishments to satisfy her longing for excellence. Her envy prevents her from enjoying all of the less spectacular joys of life. Her incessant need for pleasure and hatred for boredom causes hard earned money to be frivolously spent on lavish food, experiences and belongings. Anyone who attempts to reason with her or go against her selfish desires is quickly cut low with scornful remarks followed by bitter silence. The kids ask me what’s wrong with her. Mr Oyster let me ask you, if we have truly become one flesh and this flesh has become cancerous, should the rest of the body die in this diseased state? Is this dividing of the flesh a sin or a surgery? I have lived for at least fifteen years in this wilderness. I know exactly what it means to love the unlovable and die to self. I know because I hate my life, I will keep it forever. The Lord told me to stay so I stayed. Recently I am thinking my sentence has been served. If He lets me leave I will leave. My children are mostly grown. They know how much I have suffered and they thank me for sticking it out. There will be no happy ending, but there may be a productive beginning. For almost a quarter of a century I have worked to make an ever discontented woman comfortable. Let me ask according to your post, is this my service to the Lord?