Do Christian couples struggle more with consistency than intention?

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Dinko9

New member
May 28, 2026
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One thing I've noticed is that many Christian couples genuinely want to pray together, do devotionals together, and stay spiritually connected.​

The challenge often isn't desire. It's consistency. Life gets busy. Work, children, responsibilities, exhaustion at the end of the day.

I'm curious:

What habits or routines have helped you and your spouse stay intentionally connected to both God and each other throughout the week?

Has it been:

  • Prayer together?
  • Date nights?
  • Daily devotionals?
  • Walks together?
  • Something else?
I'd love to hear what has actually been sustainable in real life.
 
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Dinko9 said:

One thing I've noticed is that many Christian couples genuinely want to pray together, do devotionals together, and stay spiritually connected.​

The challenge often isn't desire. It's consistency. Life gets busy. Work, children, responsibilities, exhaustion at the end of the day.

I'm curious:

What habits or routines have helped you and your spouse stay intentionally connected to both God and each other throughout the week?

Has it been:

  • Prayer together?
  • Date nights?
  • Daily devotionals?
  • Walks together?
  • Something else?
I'd love to hear what has actually been sustainable in real life.
Click to expand...
What has been sustainable in your real married life?
 
Dinko9 said:

One thing I've noticed is that many Christian couples genuinely want to pray together, do devotionals together, and stay spiritually connected.​

The challenge often isn't desire. It's consistency. Life gets busy. Work, children, responsibilities, exhaustion at the end of the day.

I'm curious:

What habits or routines have helped you and your spouse stay intentionally connected to both God and each other throughout the week?

Has it been:

  • Prayer together?
  • Date nights?
  • Daily devotionals?
  • Walks together?
  • Something else?
I'd love to hear what has actually been sustainable in real life.
Click to expand...
Ummmm
Lifestyle.
By that I mean we talk about things EVERY day....we discuss scripture, theological principles, how these things are relating to today's world.

We talk about our daily battles....together. Our struggles....

Anything and everything....including our victories. We share ALL of them. No space, no separation. We look at those we interact with and cheer or cry.

A person who really knew us well would think we actually share the same brain.
(Secret: we do).
 
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Dinko9 said:

One thing I've noticed is that many Christian couples genuinely want to pray together, do devotionals together, and stay spiritually connected.​

The challenge often isn't desire. It's consistency. Life gets busy. Work, children, responsibilities, exhaustion at the end of the day.

I'm curious:

What habits or routines have helped you and your spouse stay intentionally connected to both God and each other throughout the week?

Has it been:

  • Prayer together?
  • Date nights?
  • Daily devotionals?
  • Walks together?
  • Something else?
I'd love to hear what has actually been sustainable in real life.
Click to expand...
we pray together around twice a week, we're out always on sunny weekends, but if there is a not-so-busy weekday which hardly ever occurs, we'll go out, this weekend it's a strawberry festival then Cooperstown, there are numerous daily devotionals each day, for us, we don't walk but bike together & there's a large variety in the "something else" topic: gourmet dining, sightseeing, museums, festivals, parties ( got invited to 2 today ), garage & estate sales, hosting our own sales like last week, June 5th & 6th, beach time, swimming, ( we have a lakehouse ), family reunions, ( all her family ), historical events, vacations in winter, reading, antiques, cleaning them if proper, selling them, gold & silver coins, music & drumming for me, my wife goes to the movie house, she's involved in many historic preservation society's, ancestry, horses, women's night out, horse shows & competitions & this & that.
 
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Lanolin said:
No children living with ya to interrupt huh?
Sounds nice and peaceful.
Click to expand...
no. i never had kids. my wife had 2 kids in her 1st marriage. they are in their late 40's. her husband became sickly with a bunch of different issue & passed around 2013. yes, we are living a peaceful very eventful busy lifestyle by the grace of God. we both are massively ambitious which allows to get out & be very active.
 
Karlon said:
no. i never had kids. my wife had 2 kids in her 1st marriage. they are in their late 40's. her husband became sickly with a bunch of different issue & passed around 2013. yes, we are living a peaceful very eventful busy lifestyle by the grace of God. we both are massively ambitious which allows to get out & be very active.
Click to expand...
I think having children together means you don't get a moments peace. Jesus was right about that! Suffer the little children. I mean the parents suffer, not the children so much.
If the parents are not watching them, children get into all sorts of trouble.
 
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Lanolin said:
I think having children together means you don't get a moments peace. Jesus was right about that! Suffer the little children. I mean the parents suffer, not the children so much.
If the parents are not watching them, children get into all sorts of trouble.
Click to expand...
The pure JOY and Chaos that children bring is annoyingly messy and absolutely wonderful all at the same time.
Sure you enjoy the downtime when they are sleeping or are away....but they never leave your thoughts. Even when they get to retirement age.
 
Lanolin said:
I think having children together means you don't get a moments peace. Jesus was right about that! Suffer the little children. I mean the parents suffer, not the children so much.
If the parents are not watching them, children get into all sorts of trouble.
Click to expand...
i never experienced the desire to have kids & am glad of it. i had girlfriends with kids in the past & i immediately assumed the father role. all of those relationships didn't last more than a few months.
 
Hi Lanolin, this is Thea, Karlon's wife, I just stole the computer from Karlon. Is Karlon behaving? lol!
 
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The more I read the replies here, the more it seems that the strongest marriages aren't necessarily built on one specific activity, but on sharing life together consistently.

Talking about Scripture, daily struggles, victories, prayer, and even the ordinary things of life.

It's actually one of the reasons I built Anchored: Couples Devotional. I became fascinated by how couples stay intentionally connected to both God and each other over the long term. Reading through these replies, there seems to be a common theme of daily connection rather than occasional big moments.

Thank you for sharing this.
 
Lanolin said:
I think having children together means you don't get a moments peace. Jesus was right about that! Suffer the little children. I mean the parents suffer, not the children so much.
If the parents are not watching them, children get into all sorts of trouble.
Click to expand...

Oh, ain't that the truth.
My 3 year old just got potty trained. I was busy and he ran off to the bathroom by himself. Came out and told me he pooped. I'm like, ok, let's go back so I can wipe you. Get into the bathroom and our toilet paper holder is broken. It's two halves of metal with a spring, right? Half the metal is gone because 3 year old FLUSHED IT DOWN THE TOILET!

I text my husband, who (amazingly) found a plumber that could come over that same day. Plumbers (2 of them) show up and quickly fix the issue. I ask how much I owe them and...it's silly but I feel like God was showing me his love here, after having dealt with several stressful, emotional days...plumber says, "No charge. Kids do things like this sometimes and it was a quick fix."

Interestingly enough, with 10 kids this is the first time any of them flushed something damaging down the toilet. I did have another kiddo, a few years ago, stuff a bunch of toothbrushes down the bathroom sink but that was an easy fix, no plumber necessary.

Anyway. Yeah. Can't turn my back for a second! 😆
 
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I always thought my husband and I would have the kind of relationship where we pray together, do devotions, etc but we don't. Coming up on our 23rd anniversary and it never became a "habit". He will occasionally pray for me when I'm sick but that's it.

We don't have date nights, even though we have older kids that can babysit the littles and baby. Husband says he's not creative enough to think of things for us to do and, honestly, I am in charge of so many things around the house, appointments, etc that planning a date just feels like more work...I selfishly want to be wooed. Never had that...being pursued or wooed by him.

We've gone on the occasional walk but nothing deep is ever discussed. I find myself trying to carry the conversation or bring up topics to talk about and it ends up feeling awkward. I think he'd be content to walk in silence.

If I push and try to ask about hopes, dreams, plans for the future, or anything serious that needs dealt with in house or home, it somehow turns into him thinking I'm blaming him for things we cant afford to do. It's almost like he takes those questions as an attack on his character or ability to provide. So I tend to not ask anymore and we talk about stupid, unimportant, or benign things like politics or funny things the kids say.

Yeah, we probably need to create a more godly foundation but I don't know how to implement that...it would be yet another thing on my plate to figure out.

Sorry to be so depressing. I'm one of the odd ones, I guess, that doesn't have the "connection" with my husband that would be beneficial for our marriage. I can see the benefit, I've tried talking to my husband about it a few times (causes a fight every time) but the only connection he really finds "necessary" is physical.

I guess the only habits we have are bad habits.
 
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