Do christian women in general prefer a virgin man or a man with experiance?

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melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#21
Aug 12, 2011
10,464
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#21
wat

when i was young, i wanted to marry a virgin. as the years went by, i knew that if i was going to get married and marry someone around my age, chances are he was going to have a past, whether he was divorced, a widower, someone who came to Christ later in life, or someone who made a mistake in the past. BUT what mattered was his current relationship with the Lord. does he love the Lord with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength and is honoring Him today?
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#22
Mar 13, 2014
42,598
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Tennessee
#22
melita916 said:
wat

when i was young, i wanted to marry a virgin. as the years went by, i knew that if i was going to get married and marry someone around my age, chances are he was going to have a past, whether he was divorced, a widower, someone who came to Christ later in life, or someone who made a mistake in the past. BUT what mattered was his current relationship with the Lord. does he love the Lord with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength and is honoring Him today?
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I absolutely concur with your estimation. You got a good man for a husband too.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#23
Mar 13, 2014
42,598
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#23
TabinRivCA said:
You're conflating how Christian women think with secular woman. In my circle, it would be highly frowned upon to regard a man's 'experience' as a key issue, however I do know a few carnal Christians who possibly would be pleased with that.
No, that's not a qualifier on most Christian women's checklist, a playboy background = deal breaker actually and MOST Christian women don't prefer a man w/ a lot of carnal expertise but a lot of integrity😇👍.
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For sure.
 
K

KJ91

Banned
#24
Oct 23, 2022
74
20
8
#24
melita916 said:
wat

when i was young, i wanted to marry a virgin. as the years went by, i knew that if i was going to get married and marry someone around my age, chances are he was going to have a past, whether he was divorced, a widower, someone who came to Christ later in life, or someone who made a mistake in the past. BUT what mattered was his current relationship with the Lord. does he love the Lord with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength and is honoring Him today?
Click to expand...
thing is, you did NOT marry a virgin. The vast majority who says "him being virgin dont matter" still somehow ends up not choosing the virgin guy. Its a turnoff for women, even if they dont admit it. Its something deep inside, something biological.

I will give you an exemple sister.

if a woman is in love with 2 guys, as much. one of the guy is virgin, the other one is not. then she will choose the guy who is not virgin.
 
TabinRivCA

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
#25
Oct 23, 2018
13,109
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#25
KJ91 said:
thing is, you did NOT marry a virgin. The vast majority who says "him being virgin dont matter" still somehow ends up not choosing the virgin guy. Its a turnoff for women, even if they dont admit it. Its something deep inside, something biological.

I will give you an exemple sister.

if a woman is in love with 2 guys, as much. one of the guy is virgin, the other one is not. then she will choose the guy who is not virgin.
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You said 'woman' which is probably true. But a 'Christian woman', I'd say 90% would pick the virgin, hopefully like themselves.
I myself am a widow and I was also a backslider at times and am totally committed to the Lord now as I'm sure there are Christian men in the same category. In these cases, obviously we're not physical virgins but Spiritual virgins, in the sense we've cut ties with our past lives.
Btw, when you say 'the vast majority' are you doing the polling and if so where are you doing it?
 
Ilive4Jesus

Ilive4Jesus

Active member
#26
Apr 30, 2022
273
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#26
:unsure: methinks someone is trying to justify their own lack of virginity...
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#27
Mar 26, 2014
4,433
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#27
KJ91 said:
thing is, you did NOT marry a virgin. The vast majority who says "him being virgin dont matter" still somehow ends up not choosing the virgin guy. Its a turnoff for women, even if they dont admit it. Its something deep inside, something biological.

I will give you an exemple sister.

if a woman is in love with 2 guys, as much. one of the guy is virgin, the other one is not. then she will choose the guy who is not virgin.
Click to expand...
A godly woman wouldn't be pursuing super deep relationships with two guys at once. And any sensible godly woman over 25 pretty much knows that the chances are good a guy she may be interested in isn't a virgin. But the shortage of acceptable godly men available (ones who aren't addicted to something, don't try to get you into bed before the wedding, and have shown they're capable of living independently as functional responsible adults) is such that the virginity issue is a non-issue. As long as he's got a solid faith and a track record that can give the gal confidence he'll be faithful to his wife; that's enough.

I'm sorry you don't seem to know any godly women, but they aren't avoiding you because you're a virgin. They're avoiding you because you're argumentative and accusatory and seem to like stirring up conflict and they don't want to make that a constant part of their lives.
 
K

KJ91

Banned
#30
Oct 23, 2022
74
20
8
#30
TabinRivCA said:
You said 'woman' which is probably true. But a 'Christian woman', I'd say 90% would pick the virgin, hopefully like themselves.
I myself am a widow and I was also a backslider at times and am totally committed to the Lord now as I'm sure there are Christian men in the same category. In these cases, obviously we're not physical virgins but Spiritual virgins, in the sense we've cut ties with our past lives.
Btw, when you say 'the vast majority' are you doing the polling and if so where are you doing it?
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Most christian women prefer a man who has experiance. Christians today are heavy influced by secularism.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#31
Aug 13, 2014
27,418
9,405
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#31
KJ91 said:
Most christian women prefer a man who has experiance. Christians today are heavy influced by secularism.
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Not the Christian women where I live.

Maybe you should move over here to tennessee, United states. If Christian women over there are like you say, it sounds like a bad place to live.
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#32
Mar 26, 2014
4,433
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#32
KJ91 said:
Most christian women prefer a man who has experiance. Christians today are heavy influced by secularism.
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Citation needed. You thinking it does not make it so.
 
TabinRivCA

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
#33
Oct 23, 2018
13,109
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#33
KJ91 said:
Most christian women prefer a man who has experiance. Christians today are heavy influced by secularism.
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How many 'Christian' women did you interview,,,,5? I'd have a hard time finding even 5 'Christian' women heavily influenced by secularism. Where do you live, Backslider's Abbey?
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#34
Aug 12, 2011
10,464
2,692
113
#34
KJ91 said:
thing is, you did NOT marry a virgin. The vast majority who says "him being virgin dont matter" still somehow ends up not choosing the virgin guy. Its a turnoff for women, even if they dont admit it. Its something deep inside, something biological.

I will give you an exemple sister.

if a woman is in love with 2 guys, as much. one of the guy is virgin, the other one is not. then she will choose the guy who is not virgin.
Click to expand...
I married the man God led to marry me.
 
K

KJ91

Banned
#35
Oct 23, 2022
74
20
8
#35
Lynx said:
Not the Christian women where I live.

Maybe you should move over here to tennessee, United states. If Christian women over there are like you say, it sounds like a bad place to live.
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yeah, im moving to you.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#36
Mar 13, 2014
42,598
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Tennessee
#36
cinder said:
A godly woman wouldn't be pursuing super deep relationships with two guys at once. And any sensible godly woman over 25 pretty much knows that the chances are good a guy she may be interested in isn't a virgin. But the shortage of acceptable godly men available (ones who aren't addicted to something, don't try to get you into bed before the wedding, and have shown they're capable of living independently as functional responsible adults) is such that the virginity issue is a non-issue. As long as he's got a solid faith and a track record that can give the gal confidence he'll be faithful to his wife; that's enough.

I'm sorry you don't seem to know any godly women, but they aren't avoiding you because you're a virgin. They're avoiding you because you're argumentative and accusatory and seem to like stirring up conflict and they don't want to make that a constant part of their lives.
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Your perspective was well spoken.
 
EmilyNats

EmilyNats

Senior Member
#38
Jul 28, 2016
1,374
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#38
When I was a virgin, a non virgin man would have been 100% out of the question and disqualified. Even now, if (God forbid) I had to for some reason get remarried, I would never give a chance to someone who ever had extramarital sex. I could see how you would come to this conclusion considering most "Christian women" are not waiting for marriage themselves. But any devout woman who takes her faith seriously is not going to see a history of sleeping around as anything positive in a man.
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
#39
Sep 17, 2018
4,061
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#39
KJ91 said:
thing is, you did NOT marry a virgin. The vast majority who says "him being virgin dont matter" still somehow ends up not choosing the virgin guy. Its a turnoff for women, even if they dont admit it. Its something deep inside, something biological.

I will give you an exemple sister.

if a woman is in love with 2 guys, as much. one of the guy is virgin, the other one is not. then she will choose the guy who is not virgin.
Click to expand...
You love generalizing and making up stories, but you don't like showing facts.
And even when the Fact that every person here, women included, all disagree and say they've never known any woman like that you keep making false claims against them.
And you wonder why you have no friends.
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#40
Aug 12, 2011
10,464
2,692
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#40
Btw, you claim I didn’t marry a virgin when I didn’t mention anything about my husband’s past. All I stated is there was a greater possibility I would marry someone with a past because of my age. I married at 33.
 
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