No one can can make any one change. Any bad boy or bad girl changes because they want to, not because their partner makes them.
Agreed, any appearance of change (when externally motivated like this) cannot be sustained indefinitely. My authority on this is from having been that bad boy. Several times.
...However, I don't think that women want to rescue a man out of the goodness of their heart. I think women want to make men change because we're manipulative, and because they're doing it to impress their female friends. They also do it to bolster their self worth. There is something about women in a group setting where attention and props are given for "helping" a man out of his problems. Women brag about making a man "worthy", "liveable", "trained", etc. What those women are actually bragging about is emasculating their partner. It's one thing when a boyfriend or husband says or does something hurtful. By all means, tell them about it! But from what I've seen, "training" a man means to mold him into the image you find most acceptable. If you're in a dating relationship and you don't like the person you're with, LEAVE. Don't try to "fix" him, that's utterly ridiculous. If you're in a marriage and you don't like the person you're with, seek Godly counsel. Soulmates don't exist people. You can choose to love the person you're with, and with God, the marriage can get better.
I normally would not say such a thing as this, as I come from a somewhat conservative background, however, in my most Southern voice I must say, "
Per-eeaaach it sistuh! "
Seatbelt, thanks for clarifying, mate. When you say 'most guys suck', I understand what you mean but it's not the most loving way of putting it.
I said it more fluffy in the first post for any readers with more delicate sensibilities. Thought I'd cut to the chase & prevaricate about the shrubbery a little less when re-posting. Tintin you are a swell guy, and I like ya fine enough. I am, however, picking apart your post a little, Tin^2.
There are already enough boys and men in the world who don't know who they are and what their role is as a male.
Ah, yes, the great calling for Men's Ministries... It took me finding my own Christian Mentors to figure out what it meant to be a man, and what it meant to be a Christian man. Amusingly, my definitions there in the end turned out to be the perfect circle of Venn diagrams. You don't have to be a man as great as Paul to have your own Timothy. If you're doing a half decent job of being a man after God, you will discover that there are already others watching and learning from you. That certainly shook me a bit the first time I noticed. I say, however, be Both. Find your own Paul - or better still, a Team of Pauls to be a Timothy to, and be intentional with at least on Timothy as his Paul. Be, however, humble in this. As oft noted, those who choose to teach will be held to a high standard. (you likely know the chapter & verse)
Also, with all the feces in the world, it's easy for guys to feel guilty for being male. I've grown up in a loving Christian family and I still felt a lot of that from the outside world.
See Paragraph two.
Don't be ashamed of who you are because you're male. Do something to change the world. Show people there are godly guys who are respectful, responsible and loving etc.
I'm going to need you to rephrase that in some way as an "I" statement.
I am neither ashamed of my own status as a male or ashamed of my own past mistakes as a "bad boy." I am, however, embarrassed for the human race for our own humanness. God gave us the ability to do better than what we as a species tend to do. I accept my part in that, and try, therefore, to do a little better with what little I can say is truly mine (me, my actions, my reactions, little else). God has given me grace and changed me once I was willing to let Him do so.
I am insufficient to change the world. I am, however doing a good job of maintaining my little corner of it that God did change. I support God's work in what ways I can, and play an active role in it as allowed. In addition, and primarily, I am also doing my best to be a half decent dad to my kids. As for what I am incapable of doing for them, what I might in my own humanness fail to do for them, and what fails to be done for them on the other front, I make it a point to connect them with a church family that is doing a swell job of filling in the gaps in their parenting.
I am not always perfectly respectful, but I am responsible over and above. I'll own that flaw and try to work further at my respectfulness.
I challenge you to find a more loving (earthly) father. I know my Heavenly Father outshines me on all fronts, though.
There are Godly Guys out there. Certainly more Godly than flawed me. Similarly there are Godly Gals out there too. Easily, however, we see the flaws from our own couched positions of pain. Yes, we need to show our good, but I say we also need to see the good. from time to time, look less for the Godly man and look for the bit of God in man. Man is Flawed. God, however, has something that can be said through any of us if we will both listen and allow Him to speak.
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