Do You Keep Songs from Sad, Challenging Times/Bad Relationships in Your Playlist?

[seoulsearch]

Sorry to hear about what happened to you from your ex husband, Did she end up marrying that girl or is it just a fling?

I had heard they each moved on.

Years later I heard he'd moved elsewhere, married, and had a family.

We never talked after our final split, and I later cut ties with anyone who knew him or his family.

I believe God told me that my ex wanted a complete break, and that I needed to accept that rather than hold out any hope of reconciliation.

He has never tried to contact me.

I remember a co-worker saying, "You just have to accept that he's never coming back," and though my heart felt like it was being cut through with shattered glass, it also felt like the Holy Spirit was speaking to me through her, knowing what was to come, and telling me I had to start facing this new reality.

 

[seoulsearch]

Sorry to hear about what happened to you from your ex husband, Did she end up marrying that girl or is it just a fling?

I should also add, he wasn't a fling kind of guy, which made it all the more painful.

Our relationship had become dysfunctional, and I am filled with regret over that chapter in my life.

He wasn't looking for a fling. He was needing someone who wasn't so preoccupied with her own pain that she could be more of a support to him.

I'd like to think God, and time, has changed me.

But sometimes I'm not so sure, which is part of why I've stayed single.

 

[Cranberry]

No.
I don't want a soundtrack to remind me of negativity that I've overcome by God's help and grace.

 

[jacko]

I should also add, he wasn't a fling kind of guy, which made it all the more painful.

Our relationship had become dysfunctional, and I am filled with regret over that chapter in my life.

He wasn't looking for a fling. He was needing someone who wasn't so preoccupied with her own pain that she could be more of a support to him.

I'd like to think God, and time, has changed me.

But sometimes I'm not so sure, which is part of why I've stayed single.

Thank you for sharing. I hope you’re doing better now, but skip the sad songs would be my advice.

 

[seoulsearch]

Thank you for sharing. I hope you’re doing better now, but skip the sad songs would be my advice.

Yes, that's what I said in the opening thread.

If your advice is to skip them, which I do, why did you insist that I even mention which song it was?

I was trying to talk about the subject without having to specifically name the song.

 

[Lanolin]

I don't remember having a specific song, like with someone I was serious about (although when young, can't always tell when being serious...maybe seriously deluded, but hey)

Though I do recall theres a song thats sad that an ex would play and I knew we were over before we had even really begun and it hurts to hear it.

Though a lot of songs pull on your heartstrings because that is what they are designed to do. If people did not sing or write poetry about their emotions, how else would they process them?

I'm more like, the songs that really affect me are when someone has died, or gone far away, or maybe torch songs for a lost love (very common)

Nothing compares to you by Sinead O'Conner comes to mind. the 'you' could be anyone you felt something with and then lost. She was crying in the video, shaved her hair off...it's very much about grieving that loss.

To listen to that or attempt to sing it can be cathartic. There are now lots of songs that I'm recalling now I've discovered spotify, but on you tube you can also bring up any song, and it will have the lyrics, even karaoke versions. I enjoy music anyway and don't mind a few sad songs, as long as I still keep the happy ones to cheer me up.

Anyway, if anyone wants to share playlists, that's fine, but its very personal what people like in their list I think. I'm very broad/catholic in music taste though. If I like something, I like it. Break up songs are universal. EVERYONE has gone or will go through a loss or departure of a loved one at some point in their lives.

If your sentiment is 'I will always love you' thats legitimate. Nothing will break the bond that you had if it was strong and you were once close.

 

[enril]

I used to but then I stopped. I realized that the music is worth it, and that the pain can be conquered... except imagie dragons. they are positively demonice, as far as the vibes and how they make me feel.

 

[Lanolin]

Imagine dragons? Are they like a Dinosaur Jr knock off. Dinosaurs are basically dragons that don't fly.

I've been learning guitar and we are learning Somebody I used to know by Gotye and Kimbra.
I like it, I'd never heard of it till 2 weeks ago.
It's about a break up that ended horribly and the guy got ghosted but she wasn't any good to him anyway. So maybe it was for the best. He got to scream about it in the recording studio.

As Karen Carpenter once sang..all you get from love is a love song.

Lady Gaga's Bad Romance was even better than the Fine Romance with no kisses.

 

[2ndTimeIsTheCharm]

Yes, that's what I said in the opening thread.

If your advice is to skip them, which I do, why did you insist that I even mention which song it was?

I was trying to talk about the subject without having to specifically name the song.

Reading what you went through made me so sad and heartbroken, I'm so sorry you went through that!


For me, a good song is a good song mo matter what, I will listen to songs even if they come from a bad time in my life

The saddest time of my life was when I moved to another state for work and it was God’s will. I was completely alone which meant I had no one but God there.

I hated it there and I cried a lot, but I had to learn to COMPLETELY submit and depend on Him. He had songs play on the radio to encourage me and and give me hope. I'm so grateful to Him for that!

A lot of them were by Mandisa. This is my most favorite and really got me through this awful time in my life! The lyrics mean so much to me. It's like I can hear Jesus through them. I still cry when I hear this song...

Mandisa: Stronger - Official Lyric Video

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🕊

 

[Suze]

Yes but it's not a conscious thing . Hubby and I have nearly 1,000 cd's , we have both always loved music so we both had big collections b 4 we met . We also both like lot's of varied music and neither of us owns a cd that we don't like a lot , never understood why people would like something one day and then not the next , if something is good then it's always good , the music doesn't change and get better or worse with time , it stays the same , it's our response to it that changes . Maybe , if u liked something years ago and u suddenly hear it again for the first time in ages and u don't like it , that could b an unconscious response because that tune brings back bad feelings that u aren't even consciously aware of ? The music hasn't changed so what has ?
I have CDs that remind me of people , usually dead or no longer in my life and my response to those CDs is an emotional response that I'm not in total control of .
Films do that to me too . Three films that r guaranteed to provoke emotional responses in me that I'm not in control of ; Midnight Cowboy , when they r at the party and Ratso is stealing the food and at the end when he dies on the bus . I'm almost crying now .
The original Disney film of The Jungle Book , when Mowgli thinks that Baloo is dead .
And finally , Breakfast at Tiffany's at the end when they have their breakthrough in the taxi and he finally breaks into her heart and she wants the cat back and they go looking for it , I feel her desperation to find it and take care of it , just like he's found her and is going to take care of her and she is going to let him .
Okay , that's me all wrung out for today thanks for that Seoulsearch .

 

[Lanolin]

Oh I remember the cat in Breakfast at Tiffanys. The cat was the best part. I think his name was Orangey.

 

[Lanolin]

Moon River gets me. Audrey Hepburn really couldn't sing compared to the other singers in Hollywood, but she makes this song. I think they were going to cut it from the film, but it wouldn't be the same without it.