Does the church ignore single Christians? Where are we supposed to go?!?
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I hope all you trouble makers will feel better now. 
I'm like Pyro in the x-men. I don't create the flame. I just make it bigger.
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I understand and truly appreciate what you're trying to say here.
Yes. The point of the OP I thought is that some groups form to the exclusion of others. For example if people socialize in a married persons group, in the Sunday service they will perhaps seek out and clique with the same social group, to the exclusion of others. When cliques and partiality pervades a church it can become insidious, invisible to those inside the clique but toxic to those outside.
Does it have to be either/or? Married persons could speak to other married persons and also to single persons in the same meeting, there are many shared issues.
In Paul's letters there is evidence that people of all social classes, ages and groups were fellowshipping together, the gospel was revolutionary and counter-cultural. For example in 1 Timothy 5:1-2 addresses inter-generational friendships, in many modern churches the youth are segregated off. Jews and Romans were fellowshipping together, married and single, rich and poor, free and slave, slave-owners and slaves meeting together. Why is it so difficult for the modern church to follow this revolutionary gospel pattern?
God Bless
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Hello. Thank you for your reply. In Acts 2:14-36 at Pentecost the Apostle Peter seems to manage to preach a powerful gospel message to a varied group of people, he didn't segregate them off into little groups before speaking and it says they were cut to the heart and repented.
The word 'bored' put me in mind of a scripture that I think speaks to the entertainment culture of the modern church:
For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. 2 Timothy 3:4.
Targeting/manipulating a message towards a particular social group or demographic, rather than preaching the word of God as commanded, is perhaps doing no more than telling people what it is thought they want to hear. God Bless You
The word 'bored' put me in mind of a scripture that I think speaks to the entertainment culture of the modern church:
For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. 2 Timothy 3:4.
Targeting/manipulating a message towards a particular social group or demographic, rather than preaching the word of God as commanded, is perhaps doing no more than telling people what it is thought they want to hear. God Bless You
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Hello. Thank you for your reply. In Acts 2:14-36 at Pentecost the Apostle Peter seems to manage to preach a powerful gospel message to a varied group of people, he didn't segregate them off into little groups before speaking and it says they were cut to the heart and repented.
The word 'bored' put me in mind of a scripture that I think speaks to the entertainment culture of the modern church:
For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. 2 Timothy 3:4.
Targeting/manipulating a message towards a particular social group or demographic, rather than preaching the word of God as commanded, is perhaps doing no more than telling people what it is thought they want to hear. God Bless You
The word 'bored' put me in mind of a scripture that I think speaks to the entertainment culture of the modern church:
For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. 2 Timothy 3:4.
Targeting/manipulating a message towards a particular social group or demographic, rather than preaching the word of God as commanded, is perhaps doing no more than telling people what it is thought they want to hear. God Bless You
But if you preach a sermon to adults and phrase it the way you would for children's church, you are going to have some quite insulted adults - and for good reason. You shouldn't talk to adults as though they were children.
The same applies to different groups of adults. As cinder observed, some of the problems married people face are not even perceived by single people, and sometimes married people don't really comprehend the issues single people face.
If you have different groups you can more specifically target and address the issues that particular group faces. Instead of spending a lot of time and dispersing your energy trying to cover everything everyone needs, you can pinpoint your lesson to what that specific group can find useful.
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Thank you for your reply, good to hear from you. That was interesting.
In terms of youth, I think there is a danger in dumbing down the teaching given to youth to try to be culturally relevant. I remember attending a Christian youth group where we had to try and fish coins out of a container of liquid food waste, then youths burped on an open mic. The 'Spiritual' content was putting something up on the stage to signify giving something up for God. I think I would have benefited more from the experience and wisdom of older believers, us all meeting together with some actual Word of God in an adult meeting.
Very young children in this culture are taught evolution, they're given graphic sex education, they can be read stories by a drag queen. Then they come to church and are given a diluted message, then churches wonder why they can be losing younger people. They're poisoned and the anti-dote is sometimes too watered down to be efficacious. I think youth are more savy than then church often believes, especially in the era of social media, they grow up fast. I have met youths and even children with a better grasp of many pertinent issues than many adult church members.
They don't understand each other because they're encouraged to segregate. A Church should be people of all backgrounds, ages and social groups meeting together, learning from each other and helping one another, as was the New Testament pattern. Then they'll understand each other's challenges. If married people form a clique together then they won't understand anyone outside their bubble.
In many of Paul's letters he addresses different groups in the same letter. The church devoted itself to the public reading of scripture. I would submit that it's clear the New Testament pattern was different. There wasn't a separate slave's group in the New Testament or a married group or a Youth group. One body. One church. One purpose. The New Testament church also experienced massive growth, today's Western Church is in decline. So which is right? The modern model, not biblical and not working.
God Bless You, good to speak with you
In terms of youth, I think there is a danger in dumbing down the teaching given to youth to try to be culturally relevant. I remember attending a Christian youth group where we had to try and fish coins out of a container of liquid food waste, then youths burped on an open mic. The 'Spiritual' content was putting something up on the stage to signify giving something up for God. I think I would have benefited more from the experience and wisdom of older believers, us all meeting together with some actual Word of God in an adult meeting.
Very young children in this culture are taught evolution, they're given graphic sex education, they can be read stories by a drag queen. Then they come to church and are given a diluted message, then churches wonder why they can be losing younger people. They're poisoned and the anti-dote is sometimes too watered down to be efficacious. I think youth are more savy than then church often believes, especially in the era of social media, they grow up fast. I have met youths and even children with a better grasp of many pertinent issues than many adult church members.
They don't understand each other because they're encouraged to segregate. A Church should be people of all backgrounds, ages and social groups meeting together, learning from each other and helping one another, as was the New Testament pattern. Then they'll understand each other's challenges. If married people form a clique together then they won't understand anyone outside their bubble.
In many of Paul's letters he addresses different groups in the same letter. The church devoted itself to the public reading of scripture. I would submit that it's clear the New Testament pattern was different. There wasn't a separate slave's group in the New Testament or a married group or a Youth group. One body. One church. One purpose. The New Testament church also experienced massive growth, today's Western Church is in decline. So which is right? The modern model, not biblical and not working.
God Bless You, good to speak with you
Thank you for your reply, good to hear from you. That was interesting.
In terms of youth, I think there is a danger in dumbing down the teaching given to youth to try to be culturally relevant. I remember attending a Christian youth group where we had to try and fish coins out of a container of liquid food waste, then youths burped on an open mic. The 'Spiritual' content was putting something up on the stage to signify giving something up for God. I think I would have benefited more from the experience and wisdom of older believers, us all meeting together with some actual Word of God in an adult meeting.
Very young children in this culture are taught evolution, they're given graphic sex education, they can be read stories by a drag queen. Then they come to church and are given a diluted message, then churches wonder why they can be losing younger people. They're poisoned and the anti-dote is sometimes too watered down to be efficacious. I think youth are more savy than then church often believes, especially in the era of social media, they grow up fast. I have met youths and even children with a better grasp of many pertinent issues than many adult church members.
They don't understand each other because they're encouraged to segregate. A Church should be people of all backgrounds, ages and social groups meeting together, learning from each other and helping one another, as was the New Testament pattern. Then they'll understand each other's challenges. If married people form a clique together then they won't understand anyone outside their bubble.
In many of Paul's letters he addresses different groups in the same letter. The church devoted itself to the public reading of scripture. I would submit that it's clear the New Testament pattern was different. There wasn't a separate slave's group in the New Testament or a married group or a Youth group. One body. One church. One purpose. The New Testament church also experienced massive growth, today's Western Church is in decline. So which is right? The modern model, not biblical and not working.
God Bless You, good to speak with you
In terms of youth, I think there is a danger in dumbing down the teaching given to youth to try to be culturally relevant. I remember attending a Christian youth group where we had to try and fish coins out of a container of liquid food waste, then youths burped on an open mic. The 'Spiritual' content was putting something up on the stage to signify giving something up for God. I think I would have benefited more from the experience and wisdom of older believers, us all meeting together with some actual Word of God in an adult meeting.
Very young children in this culture are taught evolution, they're given graphic sex education, they can be read stories by a drag queen. Then they come to church and are given a diluted message, then churches wonder why they can be losing younger people. They're poisoned and the anti-dote is sometimes too watered down to be efficacious. I think youth are more savy than then church often believes, especially in the era of social media, they grow up fast. I have met youths and even children with a better grasp of many pertinent issues than many adult church members.
They don't understand each other because they're encouraged to segregate. A Church should be people of all backgrounds, ages and social groups meeting together, learning from each other and helping one another, as was the New Testament pattern. Then they'll understand each other's challenges. If married people form a clique together then they won't understand anyone outside their bubble.
In many of Paul's letters he addresses different groups in the same letter. The church devoted itself to the public reading of scripture. I would submit that it's clear the New Testament pattern was different. There wasn't a separate slave's group in the New Testament or a married group or a Youth group. One body. One church. One purpose. The New Testament church also experienced massive growth, today's Western Church is in decline. So which is right? The modern model, not biblical and not working.
God Bless You, good to speak with you
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Well I had a kind of similar experience and I don't believe that it's age related , just single people in general r not always treated very well . When I first went to the church I belong to ( even though I don't go there any more ) I was a slim young attractive woman . The congregation was almost all at least ten years older than me and the only other singles were divorced or widowed and there were only a few of them . Almost no one wanted to talk to me . I think the married men and the divorced , felt they couldn't , the married women didn't want to know either . Eventually I made friends with a widow in her late sixties and a married couple in their fifties , I was in my mid twenties . I could tell that the rest of the congregation were relieved that those 3 were friendly with me because it meant that none of them had to bother with me . To b fair , they r a very insular group and I think maybe they thought I was just passing through . I was there for about 7 years and for the most part was quite lonely , I lost most of my friends when I became a Christian because I no longer wanted to go to pubs etc and I only had those 3 Christian friends . I sat at home alone every night for almost 7 years . They used to have get togethers at each others houses that I didn't even know about unless some one let it slip in my presence . If they made a drink of tea they wouldn't make me a cup . Then I met my hubby and I left that congregation because I knew they would kick me out for marrying out of that denomination . I'm glad to say that God's ways r not our ways ❤️ and He has always been with me and I know He will always b with me . My faith has never been stronger but ...........there's always room for improvement . Stick close to Him and He will get u through any and every thing , ultimately He is all u need and if u do need more , He will provide . His timing is perfect .
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I think this is another "dirty secret" that's "hiding in plain site" within the church.
I can only speak from the perspective of being a woman, but I think a lot of married women in the church, and society in general, see single women as enemies. I do understand this because so many people have stories of their spouse running off with someone else (myself included,) so I can certainly sympathize with their concern.
But as you pointed out, it creates the problem of no one in the entire church wanting to be friends with someone who doesn't have a spouse.
Something that was very eye-opening for me was when a dear family member lost her husband to cancer. They had been lifelong members at a church, and when she became a widow, all her married friends abandoned her. None of them invited her to any of their get-togethers anymore or wanted to talk to her, even though they all played cards regularly when her husband was alive.
The women were afraid that since she was now single, she would somehow steal their husbands -- and they wanted to keep her as far away as possible.
I'm guessing that for single men, it might be even worse, because single men seem to get an especially bad rap that there's "something wrong with them" -- especially if they've never been married and don't have children.
It's no wonder that there is such a "loneliness epidemic" going on, even though the church is supposed to feel like "family," even more so than in the world.
I don't have the answers.
But I hate the fact that there are so many glaring issues for singles like this, and the church as whole turns both eyes blind.
I can only speak from the perspective of being a woman, but I think a lot of married women in the church, and society in general, see single women as enemies. I do understand this because so many people have stories of their spouse running off with someone else (myself included,) so I can certainly sympathize with their concern.
But as you pointed out, it creates the problem of no one in the entire church wanting to be friends with someone who doesn't have a spouse.
Something that was very eye-opening for me was when a dear family member lost her husband to cancer. They had been lifelong members at a church, and when she became a widow, all her married friends abandoned her. None of them invited her to any of their get-togethers anymore or wanted to talk to her, even though they all played cards regularly when her husband was alive.
The women were afraid that since she was now single, she would somehow steal their husbands -- and they wanted to keep her as far away as possible.
I'm guessing that for single men, it might be even worse, because single men seem to get an especially bad rap that there's "something wrong with them" -- especially if they've never been married and don't have children.
It's no wonder that there is such a "loneliness epidemic" going on, even though the church is supposed to feel like "family," even more so than in the world.
I don't have the answers.
But I hate the fact that there are so many glaring issues for singles like this, and the church as whole turns both eyes blind.
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most churches i have heard of don't get involved with singles groups. i think it's because they don't want to be responsible for break-ups, or any related problems in matchmaking. they don't want to become a dating service either. if i was single, the church would be my 1st place to find a girl. i found my wife on Christian Mingles, so you can try there.
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For a lot of churches a single middle-aged person is a problem if they actually want to be married and don't play by the rules and adapt to a single life and accept that they are not really a part of the churches plans. For those who have experienced it you know what I am referring to. You get enormous pressure to join Bible studies, and when you do, you find yourself surrounded by people talking about their marriage and family, which is just about the most painful thing to endure. If you do move on it isn't like when you were younger where they call up and ask where you went. They are glad to see the problem go.
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Howdy wolf and welcome to the forum.
That doesn't sound like my church at all, but I'm sorry there is a church like that. I'd try a different church.
For me, when they preach/teach about family, it's not painful really. It's just boring. I can understand why such is needed, but for me personally there is no useful application, so I sit there thinking about something else until the sermon is over.
That doesn't sound like my church at all, but I'm sorry there is a church like that. I'd try a different church.
For me, when they preach/teach about family, it's not painful really. It's just boring. I can understand why such is needed, but for me personally there is no useful application, so I sit there thinking about something else until the sermon is over.
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