Domestic Violence Support and Safety Form.

[Daisy2]

 

[Daisy2]

 

[Daisy2]

Then there's the double bind situation—basically, damned if you do, damned if you don't

the way to handle these are either



OR

 

[Daisy2]

@HeIsHere

Narcissistic individuals often use invalidation as a tactic to control or manipulate others. While the number of people diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is estimated to be about 0.5% to 6.2% of the general population, recent trends suggest that the actual prevalence may be higher in this generation. NPD is more commonly diagnosed among men and in clinical settings, but narcissistic traits like invalidation are much more widespread and often go undiagnosed.

 

[HeIsHere]

@HeIsHere

Narcissistic individuals often use invalidation as a tactic to control or manipulate others. While the number of people diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is estimated to be about 0.5% to 6.2% of the general population, recent trends suggest that the actual prevalence may be higher in this generation. NPD is more commonly diagnosed among men and in clinical settings, but narcissistic traits like invalidation are much more widespread and often go undiagnosed.

Thank you for posting those pages, I am thinking I may purchase the book, loads of good information, it may be helpful with a project I am working on.

 

[Carlyw]

Your mother, who logs into your account has a habit of jumping the gun into situations without knowing anything about people.
This is her first problem. And this problem isn't unique because it happens to many people, my mother included who is in a better position to say something wise about a situation relating to her brothers and sisters in real life but instead chooses something completely off.
In the Internet, where you don't know anything about people this situation is even more obvious.
For example, i know Demi longer than you here and i know that she is tougher than steel with whatever life has thrown at her and she has the grace to forgive a lot of nonsensical stuff like she did when she responded to the intrusive comments of your mother.
I know it's difficult to understand how family dynamics are outside of what you've learned on your zip code, but since respecting the boundaries is now the theme of this song, start by respecting people's boundaries first, try to be non-judgmental, don't assume things, ask more questions and then attempt to give an answer.
Don't be controlling, don't be nosy, respect free-will and don't be manipulative for different reasons.
These are some good starting points to have a good-faith discussion.

Brother Eli, ive been wondering. How do you know that Branch is signing into the account of her children? This confuses me. Its obvious you two have history, but I would like some type of evidence as a third party because I dont understand why you believe this. Its a serious claim to make and I dont see any evidence yet. I would like to understand you here. Over all im trying to stay out of this lol. Seems like theres a big history between you two.

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

Dear Sisters,

I want to speak to you today about something important many of you may face in places meant to support and empower survivors of abuse. Sometimes, there are people who refuse to respect boundaries and disrupt the safe spaces created for healing and strength.

In our forum, Eli has repeatedly been asked to leave and to respect others’ space, but he continues to stay and challenge those who are trying to find support. Though he tries to play the victim, the reality is that this forum was never meant for him. Its purpose is to empower women, to give voice to those who have been silenced, and to provide protection and encouragement.

When someone refuses to leave despite requests and tries to dominate or control the conversation, it often reveals a deeper resistance to empowerment—an attempt to undermine healing and keep women from finding strength.

Remember, true empowerment comes from setting boundaries, standing firm, and refusing to tolerate those who seek to disrupt or dismiss your pain.

You deserve to be heard, respected, and supported. Don’t allow anyone to diminish your voice or trample your journey to freedom.

God bless you all! Amen.

Well this is an open forum. Everyone has the right to give their opinion on any subject in any thread.There is no authority to make a person leave a thread except for mods.

 

[Branch]

Dear Sister,
This letter is for you—if you feel trapped in pain, hurt, or fear because of abuse. Your courage to keep going comes from a deep strength within you that no one can take away. Please know that you are seen, valued, and deeply loved by God. He hears your cries and is near to those who have a broken heart (Psalm 34:18). Your pain is not hidden from Him; He is your refuge and helper in trouble (Psalm 10:14, Psalm 9:9-10).
God does not condone abuse in any form. The Bible commands husbands to love and never treat their wives harshly (Colossians 3:19), showing that abuse contradicts God’s designs for love and respect. You are God’s child, invited to call Him “Abba,” meaning Father, who loves you intimately and will never abandon you (Romans 8:14-16). Your worth is not defined by what you have endured but by the unconditional love of Christ, who makes you a conqueror through His grace (Romans 8:37-39).
You are encouraged to seek safety, healing, and freedom. Abuse is never your fault and never God’s will. When you can, take steps to protect yourself and allow God’s peace to restore your spirit (John 10:10, John 14:27). Remember, the Lord promises a hopeful future, free from fear, where you can live in righteousness and peace (Isaiah 54:14, Jeremiah 29:11).
Forgiveness is a personal journey that can bring healing, not as a way to excuse abuse but to release the hold it has on your heart (Mark 11:25, Ephesians 4:31-32). Surround yourself with trusted people who honour and respect you, and lean on God’s strength daily.
You are not alone. The Lord walks with you every step of the way to bring healing, dignity, and new life. God bless you all. Amen.

 

[Branch]

In the United States, emotional abuse affects a significant number of women and children annually. Approximately 1 in 3 women and 1 in 10 men experience domestic violence, which often includes emotional abuse, such as psychological mistreatment or coercion. For children, about 6.8% of reported maltreatment cases in 2022 involved psychological maltreatment, with over 4.2 million child maltreatment reports received that year. Over 15 million children live in households with intimate partner violence, exposing them to emotional harm even if they are not directly abused. Annually, more than 12 million women and men are victims of intimate partner violence, which includes emotional abuse. Emotional abuse, though often underreported, is a widespread public health issue affecting millions across all demographics in the US.

 

[Eli1]

Brother Eli, ive been wondering. How do you know that Branch is signing into the account of her children? This confuses me. Its obvious you two have history, but I would like some type of evidence as a third party because I dont understand why you believe this. Its a serious claim to make and I dont see any evidence yet. I would like to understand you here. Over all im trying to stay out of this lol. Seems like theres a big history between you two.

I'll give you the short version since i'm on mobile now.

Daisy herself has confirmed that her mother logs into her account. One instance of it is here: https://christianchat.com/christian-singles-forum/dark-attractions.219103/page-5#post-5508257

There are many other instances of it if you search her post history which should take you anywhere from 3-5 days but since i am cursed with having very good memory i remember a lot of stuff that people say 10-20 years ago like it was yesterday.
I also have clear memories of my childhood like it happened yesterday because my childhood was a blessed childhood full of joy and laughter with a lot of family around.
Many people around the world have wonderful childhoods too not just me but i realize that some others don't.
I see this first-hand with children suffering with cancer in hospitals since i do computer-related work in hospital settings.

Wish you all the best in your journey and you are already blessed with a lot of wisdom for your age Carly.

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

I'll give you the short version since i'm on mobile now.

Daisy herself has confirmed that her mother logs into her account. One instance of it is here: https://christianchat.com/christian-singles-forum/dark-attractions.219103/page-5#post-5508257

There are many other instances of it if you search her post history which should take you anywhere from 3-5 days but since i am cursed with having very good memory i remember a lot of stuff that people say 10-20 years ago like it was yesterday.
I also have clear memories of my childhood like it happened yesterday because my childhood was a blessed childhood full of joy and laughter with a lot of family around.
Many people around the world have wonderful childhoods too not just me but i realize that some others don't.
I see this first-hand with children suffering with cancer in hospitals since i do computer-related work in hospital settings.

Wish you all the best in your journey and you are already blessed with a lot of wisdom for your age Carly.

As far as I know no one has yet come out and showed their credentials to be giving anyone professional advice. It's as simple as talk to a pastor, or someone you trust. Get help if you are being abused, there are places to call online, or in a phone book, and get out of the situation ASAP. That's the only advice that anyone here can give.

I had a similar childhood. Cousins around, brought up in Sunday school, spent more time in church than anywhere else. My parents were Sunday school teachers. Then my father went in to evangelism after being ordained. I grew up with Christian aunts and uncles around me. All my grandparents were Christians. I'm very thankful I was surrounded by believers who knew how to pray. I feel for others who did not have a good upbringing.

 

[Carlyw]

I'll give you the short version since i'm on mobile now.

Daisy herself has confirmed that her mother logs into her account. One instance of it is here: https://christianchat.com/christian-singles-forum/dark-attractions.219103/page-5#post-5508257

There are many other instances of it if you search her post history which should take you anywhere from 3-5 days but since i am cursed with having very good memory i remember a lot of stuff that people say 10-20 years ago like it was yesterday.
I also have clear memories of my childhood like it happened yesterday because my childhood was a blessed childhood full of joy and laughter with a lot of family around.
Many people around the world have wonderful childhoods too not just me but i realize that some others don't.
I see this first-hand with children suffering with cancer in hospitals since i do computer-related work in hospital settings.

Wish you all the best in your journey and you are already blessed with a lot of wisdom for your age Carly.

I see. Thank you, I see she is in fact logging into Daisy's account, thats unfortunate. Daisy seems to set boundaries, I see. I wonder why she let's this happen. Im sure there is a reasonable answer, however still it is strange.

As for Branch she does seem pretty ridged in belief at times, as most older people are. She probably sees this as doing Gods work, and may not be correctable. I can see the love and desire in her heart that she has for people, though her actions can come off as harsh and condenming.

Ideally she would consider how her actions may come off and adjust her attempts to help and teach so that her desires can be enacted in a way that helps people rather than hurts them. Ive seen it hurt others quite a few times now.

I will say that over here, she has been respectful for the most part, and very helpful. She has done great things to highlight the dangers of domestic abuse.

I see why you would want to highlight what you see as abuse though, considering this thread from her is about abuse. You may think she is being a hypocrite.

Over all this is a Christian form. Some Christians are very judgmental, and ridged. I can be, my husband says im quite a prude lol. Though I dont try to control him, I will tell him why I won't partake in certain forms of entertainment with him. I have seen people insinuate that eveyone who drinks alcohol is going to hell, along with those who do the whole "pagan Holliday thing". It seems many like to condem their fellow brothers and sisters, even accusing them of not even being true brothers or sisters. Its unfortunate. Over all I either ignore these people, or give them scripture and then ignore them if they do not have substance to their beliefs. Let's say like with resident alien or higher gosple. Naming names here bros dont @ me seriously, unless you want to people/s. I genuinely do believe these people to be family in Christ allthough we dont agree, and since we are so different I just choose to ignore most the time..even sometimes with dear brother shittim...still love you, and respect you we just are nothing alike.

What im getting at Eli, is why dont you ignore Branch? I do understand that you feel like she is abusive at times, and controlling

 

[Eli1]

As far as I know no one has yet come out and showed their credentials to be giving anyone professional advice. It's as simple as talk to a pastor, or someone you trust. Get help if you are being abused, there are places to call online, or in a phone book, and get out of the situation ASAP. That's the only advice that anyone here can give.

100% correct Rose!

I had a similar childhood. Cousins around, brought up in Sunday school, spent more time in church than anywhere else. My parents were Sunday school teachers. Then my father went in to evangelism after being ordained. I grew up with Christian aunts and uncles around me. All my grandparents were Christians. I'm very thankful I was surrounded by believers who knew how to pray. I feel for others who did not have a good upbringing.

That's wonderful to hear and that's a treasure in itself.

 

[Eli1]

What im getting at Eli, is why dont you ignore Branch? I do understand that you feel like she is abusive at times, and controlling

God bless you again for your wisdom.
To answer your question about why i don't block people; i have said it before i don't block people because i want to see all the details of the people i disagree with and i don't want to isolate myself in an echo chamber.

Where i come from, we have an expression: "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger".
This is how you grow. By falling down and getting up and ... the most important part ... you learn from it.
A lot of people don't learn but it is what it is.
These are some of the qualities that Demi from Germany has which is why i said she's as tough as steel, and this boomer (Branch) comes in with judgment and assumptions.

There's also the issue of people changing usernames on the internet, but since i am cursed with having good memory i also think that Branch may be another user who claimed that she could do "remote-reading" on people.
So i offered myself for a "read" to test her and i got a good laugh.
But i can't confirm this with data even if i was a forum admin.

This is also why i choose to live near Harvard in Boston which is the epicenter of woke ideologies and confusions and i also tell my kids when we drive by over there for pizza "Look at this place. Learn from it, understand it, Don't get affected by it and respond to it".

So, ignoring is not a good idea for me. But i realize that it's a good idea for other people.
Forgiveness is. But some people not only don't realize when others forgive them, but even if they do realize it, they see that as a weakness to abuse you even further.

Branch was forgiven twice by me and Demi when she was being intrusive with the relationship of a child in Germany for which Branch has no clue about.
Demi gave her forgiveness in her answer and i stayed silent.

In this topic i saw that she went over the line on post 85 and i chose to not stay silent anymore.

You are already 10 steps ahead for someone of your age in terms of wisdom. My cousin has a daughter who's 14 right now and she also has a lot of maturity and wisdom for her age and we all in the family talk fondly about her and we joke with her during house dinners we have from time to time.

 

[Carlyw]

God bless you again for your wisdom.
To answer your question about why i don't block people; i have said it before i don't block people because i want to see all the details of the people i disagree with and i don't want to isolate myself in an echo chamber.

Where i come from, we have an expression: "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger".
This is how you grow. By falling down and getting up and ... the most important part ... you learn from it.
A lot of people don't learn but it is what it is.
These are some of the qualities that Demi from Germany has which is why i said she's as tough as steel, and this boomer (Branch) comes in with judgment and assumptions.

There's also the issue of people changing usernames on the internet, but since i am cursed with having good memory i also think that Branch may be another user who claimed that she could do "remote-reading" on people.
So i offered myself for a "read" to test her and i got a good laugh.
But i can't confirm this with data even if i was a forum admin.

This is also why i choose to live near Harvard in Boston which is the epicenter of woke ideologies and confusions and i also tell my kids when we drive by over there for pizza "Look at this place. Learn from it, understand it, Don't get affected by it and respond to it".

So, ignoring is not a good idea for me. But i realize that it's a good idea for other people.
Forgiveness is. But some people not only don't realize when others forgive them, but even if they do realize it, they see that as a weakness to abuse you even further.

Branch was forgiven twice by me and Demi when she was being intrusive with the relationship of a child in Germany for which Branch has no clue about.
Demi gave her forgiveness in her answer and i stayed silent.

In this topic i saw that she went over the line on post 85 and i chose to not stay silent anymore.

You are already 10 steps ahead for someone of your age in terms of wisdom. My cousin has a daughter who's 14 right now and she also has a lot of maturity and wisdom for her age and we all in the family talk fondly about her and we joke with her during house dinners we have from time to time.

Thats understandable, I won't block anyone either, communication is beyond valuable and blocking someone completely cuts out the possibility of communicating. I do however ignore and scroll past those who I regularly disagree with when they show disregard towrds facts. Especially when they lack humility or understanding.

Forgivness I will extend forever, but I genuinely will stop interacting at some point when forgivness has to be extended because of a lack of repentance. Overall I agree with you for the most part and respect your decisions. I'm sure it works best for you.

I understand where youre coming from, it sounds like you've got a delightful family! Its honorable of you to teach your kids to exist in a fallen world but to not be shaped by it, good thinking

 

[Daisy2]

There's also the issue of people changing usernames on the internet, but since i am cursed with having good memory i also think that Branch may be another user.

Untrue she's had only one account Branch. I've had two both under the name daisy.

 

[Eli1]

Untrue she's had only one account Branch. I've had two both under the name daisy.

Understood.

I’m just gonna have to trust you on this and since you’ve been straightforward I will trust you and I won’t repeat that again.

Wish you all the best and God bless you.

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

"This form is designed to help individuals experiencing abuse understand the dynamics of family violence and the importance of prioritizing their safety and well-being.

Excuse me, but what was boring about what I said? I'd appreciate an answer.

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

100% correct Rose!



That's wonderful to hear and that's a treasure in itself.

Well looks like it doesn't take much to be closed out of this conversation. Only a "safe space" for people who agree with the OP ?

 

[Eli1]

Well looks like it doesn't take much to be closed out of this conversation. Only a "safe space" for people who agree with the OP ?

Yes, this is a play from the Harvard school of thought.
Say something inflammatory and then either run away on a safe space or become violent.
We see this with our leftists guests in the news section of the forum whom we both enjoy very much in this season.

They can’t communicate anymore because …. What if they found out they were wrong?

That would be terrible for their identities which they borrowed from someone else.