Driving

[JFSurvivor]

My boyfriend lost his liscence because he hit someone with his car. The guy is ok and all but still. Ok well he had a broken arm. Anyways he's blind....he can see in the day but not at night. This whole scenareo happened a few months ago and the reason I am posting about it now is because he really wants his lisence back. Him and his parents are working with doctors and lawyers to get it back. I try to be a supportive girlfriend but I don't think he should get it back. My dad agrees and he's almost angry at my bf for wanting his liscense back.

1) is my dads reaction ok?

2) how do I support him without lying?

3) this one is a bit off topic: what's the big deal with guys and driving? He talks about how badly he wants to drive me places and stuff and I just don't get that. I am always happy to drive.

 

[Willie-T]

Your bf is blind, and he wants to drive!?!?!?

 

[tourist]

Your boyfriend seems to be like "Toonces the Cat" that used to be on SNL years ago. He loved to drive, and he could drive but not very well and kept driving over the cliff. Regarding wanting to be the one who drives in this relationship, it must be a guy thing.

 

[JesusLives]

If he is considered legally blind then he has no business driving.... If he is blind like need glasses by all means go buy them and possibly take drivers education to make sure he knows how to drive.....Other wise be honest and tell him he doesn't drive that well and you would prefer to drive....If he can't handle it... well better to arrive alive or invest in good insurance and crash helmets.... For number 3 it is a guy thing....

 

[Kaycie]

There is only one subject when you are driving-driving. And if you cant drive safely in certain conditions, then don't drive in those conditions. I know it's hard to tell someone their driving is bad because you don't want to hurt their feelings, but you have to for their safety and the safety of others. My mom drives just fine, then she stops in a store or restaurant bathroom, takes a long time, then comes out smelling faintly like alcohol. Then we get back on the road and she scares me to death. She acts as if the car is on auto-pilot for the most part. So many times I had to take the wheel from the passenger seat. She coasts out of the lane, falls asleep at the wheel, does not turn sometimes when the only choice is to turn, turns right when in the left lane while almost hitting the car in the right lane. I'm honest with her, and she pulls over and lets me drive. It's gotten to the point where she asks me to drive most of the time. I'm afraid to tell her I know she's still a secret drinker, because then she will do it completely, it would be worse.

I used to have a guy drive us to church, and he'd look at his cell phone more than the road while coasting out of the lane. When I mention it to him he says it is ok because he's been driving for years. It is not ok. He won't let me take over driving, so I just don't trust to be in his car. Oh and he always hugs me when no one else at church does. This SO bothers me, but I don't want to be rude, but I also don't want people to think he has a chance with me, cause never in a million years!!!

 

[cmarieh]

My boyfriend lost his liscence because he hit someone with his car. The guy is ok and all but still. Ok well he had a broken arm. Anyways he's blind....he can see in the day but not at night. This whole scenareo happened a few months ago and the reason I am posting about it now is because he really wants his lisence back. Him and his parents are working with doctors and lawyers to get it back. I try to be a supportive girlfriend but I don't think he should get it back. My dad agrees and he's almost angry at my bf for wanting his liscense back.

1) is my dads reaction ok?

2) how do I support him without lying?

3) this one is a bit off topic: what's the big deal with guys and driving? He talks about how badly he wants to drive me places and stuff and I just don't get that. I am always happy to drive.

The one thing to remember is that the reason why your dad is against your boyfriend getting his license back is because you are his little girl and can never be replaced. His reaction is completely normal and justified. In reference to your boyfriend, I would not say anything to him unless he asks you point blank what your opinion is on whether he should get it back. Now if he brings this up I would be completely honest with him and share your concern. He may be upset at first, but hopefully he would get over it.

 

[cmarieh]

Your bf is blind, and he wants to drive!?!?!?

And I thought talking and texting was dangerous enough.

 

[JFSurvivor]

Your bf is blind, and he wants to drive!?!?!?

He has glasses but he is legally blind because his vision is so poor. He also is all the way blind at night

 

[jsr1221]

My boyfriend lost his liscence because he hit someone with his car. The guy is ok and all but still. Ok well he had a broken arm. Anyways he's blind....he can see in the day but not at night. This whole scenareo happened a few months ago and the reason I am posting about it now is because he really wants his lisence back. Him and his parents are working with doctors and lawyers to get it back. I try to be a supportive girlfriend but I don't think he should get it back. My dad agrees and he's almost angry at my bf for wanting his liscense back.

1) is my dads reaction ok?

2) how do I support him without lying?

3) this one is a bit off topic: what's the big deal with guys and driving? He talks about how badly he wants to drive me places and stuff and I just don't get that. I am always happy to drive.

It's one thing to be supportive when someone is doing or wants to do something. It's another when that something can be detrimental to both the person and others around him/her. As far as guys and driving, well, I can't drive because of my vision. Even with glasses. My family has made me feel bad about it ever since I turned the age where I could drive. Because of that I've always been under the impression women wouldn't be okay with doing all of the driving. Since guys are supposed to be "head of house" I always thought not driving would interfere with any relationship or marriage. As far as your boyfriend I would lovingly go about telling him you don't think it's a good idea. As much at it may hurt, honesty is always better than lying to someone when that lie can potentially cause harm to him and others.

 

[JFSurvivor]

It's one thing to be supportive when someone is doing or wants to do something. It's another when that something can be detrimental to both the person and others around him/her. As far as guys and driving, well, I can't drive because of my vision. Even with glasses. My family has made me feel bad about it ever since I turned the age where I could drive. Because of that I've always been under the impression women wouldn't be okay with doing all of the driving. Since guys are supposed to be "head of house" I always thought not driving would interfere with any relationship or marriage. As far as your boyfriend I would lovingly go about telling him you don't think it's a good idea. As much at it may hurt, honesty is always better than lying to someone when that lie can potentially cause harm to him and others.

What if he says, "well I have been driving for years without even a ticket except for the accident!" How do I respond to that?

 

[Coogi]

I think your dad is concerned for your safety because he cares about you.

I also think honesty is the best policy and your bf should respect your feelings. You can still support him, and let him know its ok if he's not the driver.

It might be a "macho" thing with guys and driving...it may feel like a loss if status to him if he loses his license and his driving privilege.

I can relate, in a way. I lost sight in one eye in Iraq. It didn't seem like a big deal until I drove for the first time afterward. I was scared silly! My perception of everything had changed and night driving became difficult, like driving through a tunnel. I drive, but in daylight only and plan my trips to ensure I won't be caught driving home in the dark. I'm very aware of my limitations and I'm thankful if a friend wants to drive. I feel safer riding with a friend...and I'm the first to admit it! My friends get a thrill driving my tricked-out street rod. I've become a nervous wreck driver. I feel the odds are greater if my friend drives, we will arrive safely. Im even more of a nervous driver when I have a passenger because their life is in my hands and I don't trust myself. I ask God to guide me safely, and when I arrive, I thank Him. I had asked dealership for the smallest car on the lot and he showed me a Pepsi can convertible with 2 seats, the lambo doors swing up instead of out and it has such a ghetto exhaust I'm embarrassed. It's a cop magnet. When I get pulled over and the cop looks in my eyes I have to answer a lot of questions for why my eyes don't match each other, indicating they doubt I could pass the roadside sobriety test. I don't think of it as being macho to let my friends drive me, I feel safer. My friends can enjoy their Jeff Gordon moment, we got there safely And that's what counts.

When I get behind the wheel, prayer is part of starting the car and driving away. I work my guardian angel overtime. Perhaps, God knew what he was doing when things broke on my car, making it unsafe to be driven. My first thought was "thank you, Jesus!" It will be fixed one day but now I'm in a town where I don't see safe drivers, mostly rednecks 50% sober so I'm better to put on a brave act and get out there. I leave very early and be sure to be back early. I'm still the biggest chicken on the road. The day I chicken out permanently, I'll have to hire a driver or hang up my car keys. Knowing I'd caused a serious accident would devastate me.

I hope all goes well with your situation and will be praying for you! God bless

Jerricka =^..^=

 

[cmarieh]

What if he says, "well I have been driving for years without even a ticket except for the accident!" How do I respond to that?

Well, I am assuming he is your age or a couple years older. He hasn't been driving for years. Now if he was in his thirties, I could see him saying that. If he has any true feelings for you, he will totally understand and if not it is better that you find out now. I apologize for sounding harsh, but you are only twenty.

 

[Galahad]

My boyfriend lost his liscence because he hit someone with his car. The guy is ok and all but still. Ok well he had a broken arm. Anyways he's blind....he can see in the day but not at night. This whole scenareo happened a few months ago and the reason I am posting about it now is because he really wants his lisence back. Him and his parents are working with doctors and lawyers to get it back. I try to be a supportive girlfriend but I don't think he should get it back. My dad agrees and he's almost angry at my bf for wanting his liscense back.

1) is my dads reaction ok?

2) how do I support him without lying?

3) this one is a bit off topic: what's the big deal with guys and driving? He talks about how badly he wants to drive me places and stuff and I just don't get that. I am always happy to drive.

Your dad is reacting as a father, one who loves his daughter. Why was your bf driving at night, if he can't see at night? Is he a bat? Or was your bf driving in the day and just hit someone? How does that happen? If the former, then in that, your dad sees a lack of responsibility and lack of self control, and a lack of common sense from your bf.

Support your bf without lying? Lying is not support. It is deception. What are you wanting to support? His getting a license, or his well being? So you want to support his unwise (foolish) decision? Just a thought.

Driving creates a sense of independence. A guy wants some of that.

I mean not to sound careless.

 

[GandalfTheWhite]

so i have a "blind date" tomorrow night

JFSurvivor, you two should get together as I am sure you have lots to talk about.

 

[yaright]

There may possibly be a larger issue in this story. If the victim is ok and all, well, ok, he got a broken arm. Are you sure you understand what happened?

 

[mystikmind]

Any blind people who want to drive, just come to Cabramatta in Sydney Australia, you will fit in just fine, no one will notice how badly you drive, because everyone drives like they are blind in Cabramatta!

Just imagine driving through a suburb surrounded by hundreds of Mr McGoo's? Yes you now in Cabramatta! lol

 

[Angela53510]

I hope you never get in his car if your bf gets his license back. I have small cataracts in my eyes, although with glasses my vision is 20/20. I never drive in twilight or at night.

I think your father is absolutely right. Hitting someone, even if the damage was not great is the last straw. He should not have a license.

As for guys and driving, it is part of the macho mystique. Sadly, your boyfriend is going to have to find another way to get around, and fulfill his ego's desires. I can't believe any state licensed him in the first place.

 

[kodiak]

What if he says, "well I have been driving for years without even a ticket except for the accident!" How do I respond to that?

I agree with you and your father. If I was in your fathers position, I would be extremely worried about you every time he was behind the wheel. If he should not be behind the wheel, he could injure someone even worse. How would he feel if he ended up killing someone and knew he should not have been driving? I am in criminal justice in college and I have learned about health problems making the driver more responsible for accidental crashes. I can see where he doesn't want to be dependent on others to drive him places, but if you are worried about his safety tell him that.

 

[blue_ladybug]

My boyfriend lost his liscence because he hit someone with his car. The guy is ok and all but still. Ok well he had a broken arm. Anyways he's blind....he can see in the day but not at night. This whole scenareo happened a few months ago and the reason I am posting about it now is because he really wants his lisence back. Him and his parents are working with doctors and lawyers to get it back. I try to be a supportive girlfriend but I don't think he should get it back. My dad agrees and he's almost angry at my bf for wanting his liscense back.

1) is my dads reaction ok?

2) how do I support him without lying?

3) this one is a bit off topic: what's the big deal with guys and driving? He talks about how badly he wants to drive me places and stuff and I just don't get that. I am always happy to drive.

1.) If he is legally blind, then his license should never have been granted, and SHOULD be revoked. He has no business driving.

2.) Be honest with him. Tell him his blindness makes him a viable danger to others on the road. Use his hitting someone with his car as an example of what happens when one can't drive properly due to poor visibility or negligence. Next time he might kill someone.

3.) Yes, your dad is right to be upset. I'm sorry but your bf is a danger to EVERY driver AND pedestrian out there when he drives. I'm sure your dad doesn't want anything to happen to either of you. As for the bf's parents, they seem not very concerned that he hit someone because of his poor vision.

 

[JFSurvivor]

1.) If he is legally blind, then his license should never have been granted, and SHOULD be revoked. He has no business driving.

2.) Be honest with him. Tell him his blindness makes him a viable danger to others on the road. Use his hitting someone with his car as an example of what happens when one can't drive properly due to poor visibility or negligence. Next time he might kill someone.

3.) Yes, your dad is right to be upset. I'm sorry but your bf is a danger to EVERY driver AND pedestrian out there when he drives. I'm sure your dad doesn't want anything to happen to either of you. As for the bf's parents, they seem not very concerned that he hit someone because of his poor vision.

His parents are trying to help him get his license back.