Right, but sometimes God wants us to take the first step. How can He bring the right person in our lives if we don't take initiative in meeting singles. So, one of the reasons why I don't do long distance relationships is that I trust that God put me where I am for a reason. If the right guy was somewhere else, God would have put me somewhere else (but this is just for me, and not for necessarily for everyone.) But, I do know that I probably won't meet the right guy if I'm sitting around waiting for God to get the right guy to knock on my door. If I choose to take that passive approach then I shouldn't blame God for not "doing His part" if I never get married. See, like I've probably said before, I know that a lot of people (my friends included) met their husbands without actually trying, but to say that's how God wants everyone to do it is quite frankly unBiblical. Furthermore, in my research for publications for Christian singles and asking Christians I know personally, I've found lots of authors that encourage people not to take an active approach in meeting the right person,* but I've found that more credentials, personal experience, and spiritual matruity one has, the more honest they are about the possiblity that God sometimes wants a person to take the first step.
There's an article I posted the link for and I wanted people to comment on about the myths of Christian dating, it's addressed to guys, as you can tell. It says:
"Myth #1: "God has one woman picked out for you to marry. You are destined to be with her, and God will guide you to her."
Good luck finding this one in the Bible. There is plenty of stuff about God's will for his people, God wanting good things for you, and God's ultimate plan. Nowhere, however, does it say that God picked out a spunky brunette whom he's waiting to spring on you at the right moment. I'm not saying that he doesn't. When it comes to God, I'm pretty careful about saying what he does or doesn't do. But I do know this—if you rely on this idea too much, your dating life will get really confusing.
Some Christians take a lot of comfort in the idea that God will do the heavy lifting when it comes to dating. God will tell them if a relationship is right, and God will end it if it's not. All they have to do is sit back and enjoy the ride. This may be the biggest excuse men use for being lazy in relationships, much less finding one.
German theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer addresses this issue in a wedding sermon he wrote for his sister from a Nazi jail cell. He says that God joins the relationship between a man and a woman at the point of marriage. Before that, the couple has to take the initiative. Rather than directing the course of the relationship, God wants the couple to grow and learn how to make a commitment. Once they've done that, God increases his sustaining presence."
*Though most such books I find don't really address this issue. Joshua Harris' books are excellent, but his advice on how to take a friendship to marriage, don't address what do you do if you feel called to get married, but you're not already friends with someone you think will make a good spouse.
