Feel so alone...

[I_Still_Believe]

I'm 37, never been married BUT I do have a child. I got saved 7 years ago and that's the last time I ever had a relationship with a man. I feel like an outcast, like somethings wrong with ME. I do not know anyone my age who is single. I am so envious of married couples, I get so depressed when I'm around them.
I have been on numerous dating sites looking for "the one" and only have had TWO dates within the past FOUR years with CHRISTIAN men and have been disapointed each time. It's either I'm not physically attracted or they are just jerks. I have high standards for a man who says God is #1 in his life.
I understand that God works in His own time, but my goodness this has to be a world record for a woman my age to not have so much as kissed a guy in FOUR years!
There could quite possibly be something God is waiting on for me to change about myself before he blesses me with love, it's just so hard to WAIT. I'm so afraid that I will be too old and decrepit to date!
Is anyone else in a similiar situtation???

 

[Ugly]

Seems your view of singleness at your age is quite marred. I'm 37, single, never been married. I've had a few brief online romances but thats about it. I know there are a number of other people on this site in our age range who are single. Some are divorced, or widowed, but some have never been married as well. You situation is not that uncommon at all.
And if you're going on dating sites, especially Christian dating sites, you should be aware those are not all 20 year olds. I signed up for a few free Christian dating sites, just to see what they were like and there were plenty of women my age. Granted not all of them would be what i was looking for, but point being, they're out there in larger numbers than you think.
This may sound negative to some people, but i say in a few more years it will get easier. From what i can tell late 30's early 40's is when a lot of divorces happen, so all the married people will start getting divorces and be single again soon, then you'll have more to choose from haha.

Something that is frequently discussed here is learning to be satisfied being single and to stop emphasizing marriage. Sure, most or all of us here in the singles section would love to get married, but we realize the toll it takes on our minds and spirits and walks when we put so much focus on it as to allow it to make us miserable all the time.
We need to be finding our happiness and contentment in Jesus, first. Being able to be content with being single, even if its not what we want.

Something else to be aware of, and this may not apply to you at all, but i always like to suggest it, is make sure you have reasonable expectations on the men you're looking for. Many women, even Christian, have highly romanticized ideas of a knight in shining armor swooping in and stealing her away off to romantic bliss. When more than likely a good Christian man will plod in quietly and unassumingly, there will be no flash and wow, no dragons slain defending your honor, no love at first site, no hunky stud with bulging rippling muscles carrying you over the threshold on your wedding day. He's going to show up in casual wear, sporting his cell phone and ipad, and working IT or something. He's not going to be slaying dragons, he's going to be watching football.

I suggest hanging around the singles forums, read through some of them, get active with the regulars. You'll find if you're open it helps to calm your anxiety of needing marriage and helps you put things into perspective. I used to be one of those 'must get married now' people, and this forum has, with a few other things, helped me to work past that mindset and be more content.

 

[flight316]

I feel your pain, everyday. I am 48yrs old. Its really a weird time for relationships these days. The world has its own ideas about relationships. I go through lonliness, depression and even embarasment from not having someone. What makes it even worse, I met and dated the perfect woman for 6mos we were both separated at the time. She ended up going back to her husband after severe pressure from family members. I dated a woman after her, who turned out to be the daughter of satan. I'm wounded and scarred deeply, but I rely on God to get me through each day and he always does. The situation is in His hands. I've prayed to Him about this years ago and I will keep my eyes open for who ever he choses to bless me with. He's been patient with me and I am patient with Him. I trust Him and I love Him He continues to bring me through.

 

[Jullianna]

Seems your view of singleness at your age is quite marred. I'm 37, single, never been married. I've had a few brief online romances but thats about it. I know there are a number of other people on this site in our age range who are single. Some are divorced, or widowed, but some have never been married as well. You situation is not that uncommon at all.
And if you're going on dating sites, especially Christian dating sites, you should be aware those are not all 20 year olds. I signed up for a few free Christian dating sites, just to see what they were like and there were plenty of women my age. Granted not all of them would be what i was looking for, but point being, they're out there in larger numbers than you think.
This may sound negative to some people, but i say in a few more years it will get easier. From what i can tell late 30's early 40's is when a lot of divorces happen, so all the married people will start getting divorces and be single again soon, then you'll have more to choose from haha.

Something that is frequently discussed here is learning to be satisfied being single and to stop emphasizing marriage. Sure, most or all of us here in the singles section would love to get married, but we realize the toll it takes on our minds and spirits and walks when we put so much focus on it as to allow it to make us miserable all the time.
We need to be finding our happiness and contentment in Jesus, first. Being able to be content with being single, even if its not what we want.

Something else to be aware of, and this may not apply to you at all, but i always like to suggest it, is make sure you have reasonable expectations on the men you're looking for. Many women, even Christian, have highly romanticized ideas of a knight in shining armor swooping in and stealing her away off to romantic bliss. When more than likely a good Christian man will plod in quietly and unassumingly, there will be no flash and wow, no dragons slain defending your honor, no love at first site, no hunky stud with bulging rippling muscles carrying you over the threshold on your wedding day. He's going to show up in casual wear, sporting his cell phone and ipad, and working IT or something. He's not going to be slaying dragons, he's going to be watching football.

I suggest hanging around the singles forums, read through some of them, get active with the regulars. You'll find if you're open it helps to calm your anxiety of needing marriage and helps you put things into perspective. I used to be one of those 'must get married now' people, and this forum has, with a few other things, helped me to work past that mindset and be more content.

Excellent..................

 

[Jullianna]

I'm 37, never been married BUT I do have a child. I got saved 7 years ago and that's the last time I ever had a relationship with a man. I feel like an outcast, like somethings wrong with ME. I do not know anyone my age who is single. I am so envious of married couples, I get so depressed when I'm around them.
I have been on numerous dating sites looking for "the one" and only have had TWO dates within the past FOUR years with CHRISTIAN men and have been disapointed each time. It's either I'm not physically attracted or they are just jerks. I have high standards for a man who says God is #1 in his life.
I understand that God works in His own time, but my goodness this has to be a world record for a woman my age to not have so much as kissed a guy in FOUR years!
There could quite possibly be something God is waiting on for me to change about myself before he blesses me with love, it's just so hard to WAIT. I'm so afraid that I will be too old and decrepit to date!
Is anyone else in a similiar situtation???

Hang with us We're happy to pray with you. Hope you find this forum helpful.

 

[oracle2world]

Having a child is the issue you are facing while finding a man. So getting that out upfront in any dating is critical. A man will have to want to help raise your child as one of his own. They are out there, but probably have children from a previous marriage.

And you may have to settle for a man who does not profess his faith. Do not try to convert anyone, it cannot be done in any case.

Anyway, good luck hunting!

 

[RachelP03]

Im younger, Im 26, I just got divorced, but I have to admit, I do get scared that Its going to be forever for me to get married again or when God will give me my next husband. I crave for a family, I think about it everyday. I loved being a wife, and I dont have any babies on this earth. I sometimes feel my clock ticking and I actually have been depressed the past few days from not having anyone. The two men I ever loved both have someone and seem happy, and I just want to feel that again. Im trying to put my trust and faith in God and do his will and Im trying to reach out to God so he can fill that void. But we are human and im used to affection and having someone around, because I was with my ex husband since 15. I know some people look at me and say, oh your still "young'. But I honestly wanted my kids before 30 and married and onto a career then. I never thought i would be starting over. This is more of a vent for me than encouragement, Im sorry!!!

 

[Oncefallen]

And you may have to settle for a man who does not profess his faith.

This is considered to be good advice? Really??

I spent many years of my life "settling" for whatever I could get. All it led to was heartache, heartbreak, and years of my life thrown down the toilet. I'll never settle again.

 

[violakat]

If settling means ending up with a man that does not value my faith, constantly does thing that I find offensive or goes against my beliefs. NOT THANKS!! I choose not to compromise on certain issues, and if that means I remain single for the rest of my life, so be it.
-------
To the OP, I'm 37 and have been single all my life, and do not see that changing within say the next 50 years or more. And I'm perfectly fine with that. Yes, there are times when I have my moments. Some days it’s a struggle not to be overcome with loneliness and depression, simply because I see all my friends who have families of there on, and well, yeah, I don't. But you know what, it's okay. When I start to find myself going down that path, I have to cling to God all the more. Because you see, are hope is in Christ alone. There not a man or woman who can take the place of God. When we try to fill that emptiness up with anything but God, it may seem satisfactory for a while, but eventually it crumbles.

The fact is our knights in shining armor may never exist. God does not always plan for every person to have a mate. Most yes, but not all. God does give us the deepest desires of our hearts. We just may not always know what they are. And believe me, I glad God know each of our desires. Because sometimes, what I think I really desire is not what truly want. And it's only later that I see the truth in what I thought was real but wasn't.

Here’s a blog link I posted on CC just today. The author does a better job of what I'm trying to say. Read it when you have a chance. It’s pretty powerful.


I don’t wait anymore. | Grace for the road

 

[violakat]

To the OP, I'm 37 and have been single all my life,
I don’t wait anymore. | Grace for the road

Should say 38, not 37.

 

[Searching4Truth]

Singleness is not a disease.

 

[Ritter]

I think the real tragedy here is that there are so few Christians available that young women who want families feel doomed.

 

[rauleetoe]

Seems your view of singleness at your age is quite marred. I'm 37, single, never been married. I've had a few brief online romances but thats about it. I know there are a number of other people on this site in our age range who are single. Some are divorced, or widowed, but some have never been married as well. You situation is not that uncommon at all.
And if you're going on dating sites, especially Christian dating sites, you should be aware those are not all 20 year olds. I signed up for a few free Christian dating sites, just to see what they were like and there were plenty of women my age. Granted not all of them would be what i was looking for, but point being, they're out there in larger numbers than you think.
This may sound negative to some people, but i say in a few more years it will get easier. From what i can tell late 30's early 40's is when a lot of divorces happen, so all the married people will start getting divorces and be single again soon, then you'll have more to choose from haha.

Something that is frequently discussed here is learning to be satisfied being single and to stop emphasizing marriage. Sure, most or all of us here in the singles section would love to get married, but we realize the toll it takes on our minds and spirits and walks when we put so much focus on it as to allow it to make us miserable all the time.
We need to be finding our happiness and contentment in Jesus, first. Being able to be content with being single, even if its not what we want.

Something else to be aware of, and this may not apply to you at all, but i always like to suggest it, is make sure you have reasonable expectations on the men you're looking for. Many women, even Christian, have highly romanticized ideas of a knight in shining armor swooping in and stealing her away off to romantic bliss. When more than likely a good Christian man will plod in quietly and unassumingly, there will be no flash and wow, no dragons slain defending your honor, no love at first site, no hunky stud with bulging rippling muscles carrying you over the threshold on your wedding day. He's going to show up in casual wear, sporting his cell phone and ipad, and working IT or something. He's not going to be slaying dragons, he's going to be watching football.

I suggest hanging around the singles forums, read through some of them, get active with the regulars. You'll find if you're open it helps to calm your anxiety of needing marriage and helps you put things into perspective. I used to be one of those 'must get married now' people, and this forum has, with a few other things, helped me to work past that mindset and be more content.

.....what he said..good stuff..could not have said it better

 

[doniyah]

I'm 37, never been married BUT I do have a child. I got saved 7 years ago and that's the last time I ever had a relationship with a man. I feel like an outcast, like somethings wrong with ME. I do not know anyone my age who is single. I am so envious of married couples, I get so depressed when I'm around them.
I have been on numerous dating sites looking for "the one" and only have had TWO dates within the past FOUR years with CHRISTIAN men and have been disapointed each time. It's either I'm not physically attracted or they are just jerks. I have high standards for a man who says God is #1 in his life.
I understand that God works in His own time, but my goodness this has to be a world record for a woman my age to not have so much as kissed a guy in FOUR years!
There could quite possibly be something God is waiting on for me to change about myself before he blesses me with love, it's just so hard to WAIT. I'm so afraid that I will be too old and decrepit to date!
Is anyone else in a similiar situtation???

I can relate to your situation, but unlike you I do not have kids. I constantly find myself asking the same questions - is it me?, did I miss the window for meeting that special someone?, are there any single guys out there who want a decent woman? will I be a mother? (before thats too late?) Since we're in the same boat (or a different boat in the same fleet of singleness) I have no head turing advice to give. I can only pray that things will change, and I trust everything is according to His timing. I try to stay positive by staying in his word, so far its been working.

 

[Maholy]

Im younger, Im 26, I just got divorced, but I have to admit, I do get scared that Its going to be forever for me to get married again or when God will give me my next husband. I crave for a family, I think about it everyday. I loved being a wife, and I dont have any babies on this earth. I sometimes feel my clock ticking and I actually have been depressed the past few days from not having anyone. The two men I ever loved both have someone and seem happy, and I just want to feel that again. Im trying to put my trust and faith in God and do his will and Im trying to reach out to God so he can fill that void. But we are human and im used to affection and having someone around, because I was with my ex husband since 15. I know some people look at me and say, oh your still "young'. But I honestly wanted my kids before 30 and married and onto a career then. I never thought i would be starting over. This is more of a vent for me than encouragement, Im sorry!!!

Pffft.. I think your chance aint over till your 50 agewise.. Im 20 and my mom just got another baby and she's 1 now and so sweet My mom is 45 and doing allright! Theres alot of advantages getting kids after 25.. my mom wasnt really ready for 4 kids at 24 but she's strong I tell yuh Some get kids at over 60 and they maybe wont see their kids graduate and thats wrong I think..

 

[tom38]

Being single sucks, being with someone who makes you miserable is worse.

 

[tapuout101]

We have a really hard time meeting people at our ages. We have grown out of schools, bars and clubs anymore. We have lost many if not all of our friends due to growing up and apart. How hard is it to make any friends here on the internet. I've seen so many alone cries everywhere on the internet. Woman have checklist soo long on their profiles that no one can pass. I personally turned from trying into hoping to let me off the hook. I look to GOD and say well this will truly be your greatest miracle LORD. I still want kids so no pressure my LORD. :-D

 

[tapuout101]

I just wanted to add a shout to all my fellow alonelians (-made that one up). I don't want to block LORD but can you grant a little haste to the over 30's and maybe sneeze a second on the under 30's? Good lookin out LORD!

 

[arwen7]

I'm 37, never been married BUT I do have a child. I got saved 7 years ago and that's the last time I ever had a relationship with a man. I feel like an outcast, like somethings wrong with ME. I do not know anyone my age who is single. I am so envious of married couples, I get so depressed when I'm around them.
I have been on numerous dating sites looking for "the one" and only have had TWO dates within the past FOUR years with CHRISTIAN men and have been disapointed each time. It's either I'm not physically attracted or they are just jerks. I have high standards for a man who says God is #1 in his life.
I understand that God works in His own time, but my goodness this has to be a world record for a woman my age to not have so much as kissed a guy in FOUR years!
There could quite possibly be something God is waiting on for me to change about myself before he blesses me with love, it's just so hard to WAIT. I'm so afraid that I will be too old and decrepit to date!
Is anyone else in a similiar situtation???

Its been 5 years for me. I feel you, it can be rough sometimes.

 

[Purplex]

Wow....I can so relate to this feeling of loneliness.