What does it take to feel better? If we can feel better... Won't we?
Hello and welcome to CC...
I see that your profile says, "Separated". Your other posts in this forum hint at something going on in your heart. I've been through separation and divorce after 17 years of marriage. I learned a lot through the process, and may have a few thoughts that would help.
I did a lot of praying in the first year... because I wanted to do everything that I could to fix the situation (and myself). Get in God's face frequently and put the entire marriage in His hands. Ask Him to show you what you need to deal with.
What I will suggest, as I do for others in this situation, is three things:
- Subscribe to the daily devotional from DivorceCare.org It doesn't mean you expect to divorce, just relevant wisdom.
- Talk to a lawyer, especially if you have children. Understand your rights and the process; you don't need to fight but some things are done through lawyers.
- Get some professional Christian help... from a trained counselor. Many pastors are so trained, and many aren't.