Fiance upset because I said hi to a coworker and called her Miss
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ok ok
I just have bad memories of musicians practicsing at this college I worked in, they constantly practised 'I believe in miracles, you sexy thing' in the afternoons, and the music room was above the library and the students in the library were trying, unsuccesfully, to study. The smart ones just wore earbuds to block out the noise.
Everytime the band started up, and played the same song over and over. They didnt have a singer, but they had trombones and a drummer who kept everything offbeat. It was terrible.
One time I did invite drummers IN the library at another school, teaching children how to drum. It was very easy they all got into the rythym though the caretaker complained. But this was pasifika culture and the drums were made out of logs. Both girls and boys drummed and the islands competed with each other who did the best drumming as it was part of the storytelling session.
So maybe it depends on what kind of drumming it is....
I just have bad memories of musicians practicsing at this college I worked in, they constantly practised 'I believe in miracles, you sexy thing' in the afternoons, and the music room was above the library and the students in the library were trying, unsuccesfully, to study. The smart ones just wore earbuds to block out the noise.
Everytime the band started up, and played the same song over and over. They didnt have a singer, but they had trombones and a drummer who kept everything offbeat. It was terrible.
One time I did invite drummers IN the library at another school, teaching children how to drum. It was very easy they all got into the rythym though the caretaker complained. But this was pasifika culture and the drums were made out of logs. Both girls and boys drummed and the islands competed with each other who did the best drumming as it was part of the storytelling session.
So maybe it depends on what kind of drumming it is....
I definitely agree with the above.. if you have mistrust from the beginning that is just the frosting on the cake you will receive during your marriage.. If no trust from the beginning ... then no relationship works out ..... period... That is why Christ is so adamant about truth and trust all throughout his ministry...
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Dincall, if you are having ups and downs now, it will only be more extreme when you get married.
You have to decide now, is she worth all the sacrifice? There will only be more to come with marriages. If you have kids, be prepared to place yourself in last place and be selfless.
To me it sounds like she is very controlling and will continue to isolate you with your friends and more than likely your family. Is she worth it? If yes, than that's your choice. If no, than cut ties now.
This is coming from someone who has decided that the single life is the way to go. So, you may just want to stop reading now, and chalk it off as some miserable lonely person writing this. lol
My married friend said it this way. If you want kids, get married. If you don't, than don't get married. How important are kids to you?
I said enough, but read your post as it sounded like a cry for help.
I think the best thing you can do is study and learn from a couple who are happily married and talk to them regarding relationships. Most people in the singles forum are either divorced, or have no experience in long term relationships. Maybe that was statement was to generalized. Anyways...
Bottom line, relationships require sacrifice. Jesus showed what it takes to be a leader and it costed our Lord HIS life. Are you willing to follow suit with your sweet heart?!?! Relationships require work, so continue to work on the relationship, if that's what you want.
You have to decide now, is she worth all the sacrifice? There will only be more to come with marriages. If you have kids, be prepared to place yourself in last place and be selfless.
To me it sounds like she is very controlling and will continue to isolate you with your friends and more than likely your family. Is she worth it? If yes, than that's your choice. If no, than cut ties now.
This is coming from someone who has decided that the single life is the way to go. So, you may just want to stop reading now, and chalk it off as some miserable lonely person writing this. lol
My married friend said it this way. If you want kids, get married. If you don't, than don't get married. How important are kids to you?
I said enough, but read your post as it sounded like a cry for help.
I think the best thing you can do is study and learn from a couple who are happily married and talk to them regarding relationships. Most people in the singles forum are either divorced, or have no experience in long term relationships. Maybe that was statement was to generalized. Anyways...
Bottom line, relationships require sacrifice. Jesus showed what it takes to be a leader and it costed our Lord HIS life. Are you willing to follow suit with your sweet heart?!?! Relationships require work, so continue to work on the relationship, if that's what you want.
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If you called a woman "miss" and that's how you say your fiancé name than yes I can see why she's ticked. 😆 you must be flirting and not even realize it.
As far as friends, my husband and I don't have opposite sex friends. It's much easier that way in my opinion. Granted we don't have any friends in general so it's easy for us.
His brother has a best friend who is a girl, while married. She was even in his wedding on the guy side. I think it's weird, but they live across the country now so it's irrelevant. She does not have guy friends and I doubt he would allow that. So it can be rather hypocritical. My husband doesn't want me talking with guys, therfore he has the same rule with women.
I know some people do. For us, it's good not to have that obstacle. The 1st day he comes home late hanging out, while I'm working from home, taking care of our sons, cleaning, making dinner and I'd be packing my bags. Dramatic yes, but I'm finally at the age I don't care. 😆
As far as friends, my husband and I don't have opposite sex friends. It's much easier that way in my opinion. Granted we don't have any friends in general so it's easy for us.
His brother has a best friend who is a girl, while married. She was even in his wedding on the guy side. I think it's weird, but they live across the country now so it's irrelevant. She does not have guy friends and I doubt he would allow that. So it can be rather hypocritical. My husband doesn't want me talking with guys, therfore he has the same rule with women.
I know some people do. For us, it's good not to have that obstacle. The 1st day he comes home late hanging out, while I'm working from home, taking care of our sons, cleaning, making dinner and I'd be packing my bags. Dramatic yes, but I'm finally at the age I don't care. 😆
I must admit that when I first read your earlier comments I thought you were both in the under 30 crowd 
10 year age gap is pretty significant and can bring its own sets of challenges ( not judging, that's coming from someone who knows firsthand); however, at these ages maybe not so much as some one in their 20's/30's.
More concerning here though it comes back to her.
You mentioned she doesn't want to talk about her past, well at 46 there is A LOT of past.
I do not mean that to imply that she's been a whoreish slut her whole life. That is a very judgmental and unfair assumption.
What I am implying is that by not telling you things about her past (even just "hey I did x. or had x happen to me" without getting into full details) is alarming and concerning. You have childhood ( where we have very little to no control over what happens in/to our lives), teen years (where we have a little more control, but often make poor choices, and still at ages where it's very easy to be taken advantage of) and 20+ years of young adult/adulthood where we are responsible for our own choices- and yet still can fall into being victims of some sort of abuse.
Whatever it is that she is hiding from her past, (be it her own choices, or situations out of her control) SOMETHING has happened that she is carrying baggage around from and it would not be wise of you or fair to you to enter into a marriage without knowing.
Is she a controlling woman? Sure sounds like it, but I'm willing to bet that it is not just her personality causing her to respond like that.
Seek counseling with her, but if she's unwilling to at the very least open up about her past, I'd be very hesitant to consider a future together.
10 year age gap is pretty significant and can bring its own sets of challenges ( not judging, that's coming from someone who knows firsthand); however, at these ages maybe not so much as some one in their 20's/30's.
More concerning here though it comes back to her.
You mentioned she doesn't want to talk about her past, well at 46 there is A LOT of past.
I do not mean that to imply that she's been a whoreish slut her whole life. That is a very judgmental and unfair assumption.
What I am implying is that by not telling you things about her past (even just "hey I did x. or had x happen to me" without getting into full details) is alarming and concerning. You have childhood ( where we have very little to no control over what happens in/to our lives), teen years (where we have a little more control, but often make poor choices, and still at ages where it's very easy to be taken advantage of) and 20+ years of young adult/adulthood where we are responsible for our own choices- and yet still can fall into being victims of some sort of abuse.
Whatever it is that she is hiding from her past, (be it her own choices, or situations out of her control) SOMETHING has happened that she is carrying baggage around from and it would not be wise of you or fair to you to enter into a marriage without knowing.
Is she a controlling woman? Sure sounds like it, but I'm willing to bet that it is not just her personality causing her to respond like that.
Seek counseling with her, but if she's unwilling to at the very least open up about her past, I'd be very hesitant to consider a future together.
Over here in Norway where I’m living now, it was kinda strange to learn that people didn’t address each other Mister/Miss/Missus (Herr/Frøken/Frue), or used Sir/Ma’am (Herr/Frue in a more formal manner) at all. Apparently they stopped using these terms in the 60s. Now it’s just teenage girls saying “Frøken” (Miss) to each other sometimes.
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