For laughs - What you Don’t Want to Hear On A First Date

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The way I read my bible and having made a study of the subject. For I am a divorced man and a single parent. My understanding is that It has always been God's intention that a virgin marry a virgin and that for life. Jesus said that Moses had allowed divorce because of the hardness of our hearts and that except for Fornication it was not allowed. Fornication is many things including adultery, idolitry, witchcraft, etc. The implication being more of an adultery toward God. The old testament says that if a man puts his wife away for fornication and she marrys another she is committing adultery and so is her lover. This tells me that despite a divorce God holds us to our vows. However The bible says that if one is yoked to an unbeliever and they are content to stay with the other they must stay together but if the unbeliever wishes to depart to let them for we are not held under that bond. We follow the law not for the sake of the law for we are condemned by the law. We follow the law for love of God. If a virgin feels led to only marry a virgin I comend it. If a divorcey who has found Christ wants to remarry, given the right circumstances is commendable in that it is better to marry than burn. But if we love God then we will seek his will in our own lives and let him take care of others according to his will in their lives.
 
Falcren said:
The way I read my bible and having made a study of the subject. For I am a divorced man and a single parent. My understanding is that It has always been God's intention that a virgin marry a virgin and that for life. Jesus said that Moses had allowed divorce because of the hardness of our hearts and that except for Fornication it was not allowed. Fornication is many things including adultery, idolitry, witchcraft, etc. The implication being more of an adultery toward God. The old testament says that if a man puts his wife away for fornication and she marrys another she is committing adultery and so is her lover. This tells me that despite a divorce God holds us to our vows. However The bible says that if one is yoked to an unbeliever and they are content to stay with the other they must stay together but if the unbeliever wishes to depart to let them for we are not held under that bond. We follow the law not for the sake of the law for we are condemned by the law. We follow the law for love of God. If a virgin feels led to only marry a virgin I comend it. If a divorcey who has found Christ wants to remarry, given the right circumstances is commendable in that it is better to marry than burn. But if we love God then we will seek his will in our own lives and let him take care of others according to his will in their lives.
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Aye, you have expressed my view better than I have.
 
GodIsSalvation said:
Aye I have masturbated to the images of women.

Wilt thou stone me for this also?
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No, I won't.

But technically, according to Christs words, you're no longer a virgin either. You committed adultery with a woman in your heart - most likely a woman who posed for the camera on purpose, in which case you basically cybered with her.


Now quit ruining what was an otherwise fun thread.





Moving on. If a woman looks at another man and says "I'll buy that for a dollar", it's a bad sign on a first date. If she looks at me and says it I'll feel dirty.

If she says "your move creep" I'll know she's a cyborg and may have just shot a man in groin.


I was watching RoboCop recently, so I'm sensitive to cyborg issues right now.

Seriously though, if she says "I'm going to bust through that wall and kill you" then I know she's a keeper.
 
ServantStrike said:
No, I won't.

But technically, according to Christs words, you're no longer a virgin either. You committed adultery with a woman in your heart - most likely a woman who posed for the camera on purpose, in which case you basically cybered with her.


Now quit ruining what was an otherwise fun thread.





Moving on. If a woman looks at another man and says "I'll buy that for a dollar", it's a bad sign on a first date. If she looks at me and says it I'll feel dirty.

If she says "your move creep" I'll know she's a cyborg and may have just shot a man in groin.


I was watching RoboCop recently, so I'm sensitive to cyborg issues right now.

Seriously though, if she says "I'm going to bust through that wall and kill you" then I know she's a keeper.
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If thou forgives me, why throw a stone right after?
 
1. I don't like my mother; do you like your mother?
2. I'll BRB; I need to take a dump.
3. My all-time favorite book is Mein Kampf.
4. Do you have your credit cards? ...just as a back-up. :confused: :confused: :confused:
 
You and I go way back, almost as far back as my ex boyfriends hairline.

Aaaaand then you realize you two were frenemies back in the day. Not a true story.
 
GodIsSalvation said:
Did I say to stone those that have committed adultery or did I say that I myself am unmarried and wish not to marry someone that is married?

Who is doing the stoning here?

Have not I been told that I should marry a woman that is all ready married on this thread?

Have I not been told I am ignorant because I desire Chastity, Loyalty, and Honesty in a potential spouse?

Have I not been told that I am judgemental for saying I wish to remain chaste for a chaste woman?

Have I not been triple-face palmed for quoting the Scripture?

Have I not been told that I do not believe in Jesus because I believe in Jesus' Words?

Have I not been told my intentions are not good for quoting the scripture?

Have I not been told I am fighting a losing battle because I refuse to accept to marry one whom is all ready married?

Have I not been told I am insulting because I do not wish to marry a woman all ready married?

I forgive ye because I love thee, but please; who is doing the stoning?
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Ugly said:
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Who is doing the trolling?

Have not I merely shared what I personally want of myself without condemning what others have done to themselves only to be told I am wrong for not wanting to marry with a woman that is all ready married to another man?

Have I condemned ye for marrying a woman that is married to another man? Have I not made it clear enough it is something I just wish for myself?

Who is the troll? If I have condemned and trolled you tell me how I have condemned and trolled you in all plain speech and I will ask your forgiveness.

If I have not trolled and condemned you but ye have trolled and condemned me like everyone else on this board except Fenner, Banana, and Falcren (and I thank ye three greatly and especially Falcren and Fenner for their encouraging words and their own opinions thoug hI slightly disagree with but still see merit in) then I forgive ye, but I will ask you stop insulting me for simply being honest and forthright and desiring that having never lain with a woman in the flesh that she be equal to me if I am ever to be married, which to be quite honest and forthright I am quite doubtful will ever even happen.

Is this really too much to ask? Is this really not fair of me?
 
-"Can you pay the check? I'm broke." (Though I believe a guy should be paying anyways, makes you wonder...)
-"My therapist wanted me to ask you (fill in blank)" (Imediate Red-flag lol)
-"Am I doing OK? "
- "I thought you'd be taller/skinnier/younger etc..."

 
humbleservnt said:
-"Can you pay the check? I'm broke." (Though I believe a guy should be paying anyways, makes you wonder...)
-"My therapist wanted me to ask you (fill in blank)" (Imediate Red-flag lol)
-"Am I doing OK? "
- "I thought you'd be taller/skinnier/younger etc..."
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If you think you should be paying anyways, then why would it bother you if she expects it?

What's wrong with someone that needs therapy? There are all kinds of reasons a person may need a therapist. Doesn't mean there is an automatic red flag on that person. That's a snap judgment.
 
Ugly said:
If you think you should be paying anyways, then why would it bother you if she expects it?

What's wrong with someone that needs therapy? There are all kinds of reasons a person may need a therapist. Doesn't mean there is an automatic red flag on that person. That's a snap judgment.
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If she feels the need to ask me to pay, and state that she is broke, I feel there is a slight problem. Not a big one lol Like I said, a guy should pay, and nothing wrong with her being broke.
And I agree with you with the therapy thing, I was going more for that she is ONLY going on a date with me cause her therapist told her to. Maybe not so funny?
 
I just went through a really bad breakup and I don't want a girlfriend right now.

I'm terminally ill and my last wish is to get married before I die

So, how far do you go on a first date?

You're really weird and you're scaring me.
 
- "You look just like my ex, I really miss her."
- "I'm only on this date because I lost a bet."
- "You know, you would look a lot prettier if you put on some make-up."
 
Even the hint that I'm out with a feminist will bring a curt, "Check please!"
 
I can't stay out late, I need to get home to, Pepper, Chi Chi, Fluffy, Poof Poof, Mr. Snuggles, Schnookums, Baby, Lizzy, Smiley, Puff Puff, Choo Choo and Bill, those are my pet rocks.
 
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