For laughs - What you Don’t Want to Hear On A First Date

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GodIsSalvation said:
Lol well if I were a single father I wouldn't have the second one in there, but I mean come on, cut me some slack man, I'm a 25 year old virgin lol. Ain't looking to raise anyone's kid, either looking to have one of my own or have none at all. Sorry single moms. But at least I told ya up front.

Plus to be honest with ya, if my mom divorced or cheated on my dad and was seeing someone else I'd be thinking some awfully murderous thoughts about that guy. So I don't want to do that to some kid.
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Hey, at least he's being honest...hehe
 
Fenner said:
I can't stay out late, I need to get home to, Pepper, Chi Chi, Fluffy, Poof Poof, Mr. Snuggles, Schnookums, Baby, Lizzy, Smiley, Puff Puff, Choo Choo and Bill, those are my pet rocks.
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Think of the positive side of it though.

Presents for this person would be as cheap as rocks.
 
Sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, I just asked you out due to force of habit
 
These are not funny, but here's my true list...anything mentioning a current or ex-significant other (or asking you about your ex), males who talk (too much) about their mothers (no mama's boys lol), indications that someone is a player, someone talking/asking about sex, a guy that's too clingy (see post about FB status above), guys who get all touchy & try to grope you. This may be a different topic, but I also don't like cheap guys...guys who ask you to dinner, then make you go dutch, pay for them, etc....on the first date. Maybe the most awkward, though, was a 1st date where the guy wound up being bisexual & talked on & on about his guy friend (who he was obviously in love with or had a crush on)...
 
DaizeyB1 said:
These are not funny, but here's my true list...anything mentioning a current or ex-significant other (or asking you about your ex), males who talk (too much) about their mothers (no mama's boys lol), indications that someone is a player, someone talking/asking about sex, a guy that's too clingy (see post about FB status above), guys who get all touchy & try to grope you. This may be a different topic, but I also don't like cheap guys...guys who ask you to dinner, then make you go dutch, pay for them, etc....on the first date. Maybe the most awkward, though, was a 1st date where the guy wound up being bisexual & talked on & on about his guy friend (who he was obviously in love with or had a crush on)...
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Hmm, that would be an ideal list from me too, but just one discrepency for me personally, if they were somewhat a mama's girl I wouldn't mind them talking a lil about that. Might be a good indication of a girl with family values. But that's just me personally, I think I see what you mean if it be the only subject of the whole date conversation. Naturally all the other stuff make sense to me if I apply it to myself (besides the obvious traditional male moral obligation to pay in the Dates for Dinners arrangement of dating. Which I would consent to being the payer of in that equation since I can't change my sex and become female and have the girl pay for me lest I be embarassed, which in truth I gotta be a mama's boy and say mama taught me that one lol.)

This a good list besides being too harsh on mama's boy lol. Keep in mind you never know you might have a son who likes his mama. If I personally am just a simple guy (wouldn't date you though personally cause you live God knows where and I'm not ready to marry or even really consider dating but i use myself as an example) I'm a pretty simple guy, and many of my brothers are much better (and closer and more ready) than I. I imagine you will get many many dates either current or in the future. Best of luck getting the one that pass your tests.
 
Bloomingdaydreamer said:
This is purely for fun. Unleash your creative comic side here. We are going to list three comedy lines that come from a guy or girl, saying something on a first date, things people really don’t want to hear. This is just for laughs, so lets keep this PG rated folks. Nothing inappropriate. Have fun.

I'll go first. Here's my list, coming from a guy.


  1. Sorry I'm late. A cop pulled me over for speeding.
  2. Yeah, I love animals too. I have about eight siblings back home.
  3. So I have two Miley Cyrus concert tickets. Wanna go?
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am in satan's most wanted list and any woman who marries me will have to put God first to pull the family through..
Because i am more concerned about the spiritual realms than mortal.
i think there is a comic/real part in that.
 
Donkeyfish07 said:
This one is even better

(Meets metal video snip)QUOTE]

Heh maybe instead o what you would not want in a date perahps the question is what would you?

Lol perhaps some mutual agreement that Meets Metal guys is great musician at remixing any tune into metal no doubt?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3siFMLxFaA
[video=youtube;b3siFMLxFaA]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3siFMLxFaA[/video]
(My personal favorite by him, but that's just my personal opinion. Epic 1990-2000s musics meets Metal indeed!)
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1. ...so, why are you still single at 44?
2. ...so, my date last night was Hot! Her hair was silky as yours...
3. ...so, my 1st Ex enjoyed coming here, but my 3rd Ex only liked that table over there.
 
I have a few that unless you are into cars or CB radio you won't get.

1. That truck better not be an automatic
2. Does that ford ranger have the 3.slow in it?
3. Is that the biggest antenna you've got?

I'm an odd one, i would love for a girl to be into my hobbies. I have learned it's no fun when you're talking engines or rear ends or different radio and antenna combos and she is giving a confused look. I have also learned though, girls love when you can fix their car for them. lol.
 
GodIsSalvation said:
How knowest thou the tone of my voice?

And aye I do know that Jesus said divorce is permissible in the case of marital infidelity; but what about for one whom is not married?

How can one have a child out of wedlock? That is not possible.

Is not marriage when the man and woman cleave together and become one flesh?
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Not possible hey? So, what, the ability to actually conceive and give birth only comes after marriage. Um, no.

'NOT POSSIBLE' is the wrong choice of words. Perhaps for you, it's 'not desirable'', but it is indeed 'possible'.. what if an unwed woman gets raped and falls pregnant as a result? What if she simply made a bad choice and chose to have sex before knowing Christ ..it is still POSSIBLE for her to become pregnant whilst unwed. So, my friend, there is a flaw in your argument.
 
hmm

a. you look like myex
b. why you dont like my cat
c. sorry im late i hv much to do at work

lol too bored
 
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