I dunno where else to say this, and I'm at a point in my life where I'm tired of carrying around the things that frustrate and grieve me for lack of a safe place to express them. If this is that safe place, praise God. If not, well... *shrug*
I'm not sure why, but for years, I've had the hardest time connecting with people in person. One-on-one conversations are great, as long as the person at least appears to give a damn, and isn't looking for an exit without trying to make it obvious. Large groups, those godawful "open mingle" times after church services and after/during every gathering and networking event known to man? Im-freaking-possible.
The whole thing's terrifying - which cluster of people (who all know each other sooooo well) to break into, how to hold up my end of the conversation without coming across as awkward or boring or God forbid, breaking one of the 155,000 unwritten rules of social interactions that people don't forgive you for, and how to "make face" and at least look like I'm more excited than nervous. Hellish, I tell you.
One of the things I've wanted the most, for the longest time, has just been to connect with people as easily and smoothly as others do, and to make that hop from acquaintances to friends without tripping somewhere. Alas, it has been far, far, far too much to ask.
Well, I had to get that off my chest. Happy Easter, everyone.
I'm not sure why, but for years, I've had the hardest time connecting with people in person. One-on-one conversations are great, as long as the person at least appears to give a damn, and isn't looking for an exit without trying to make it obvious. Large groups, those godawful "open mingle" times after church services and after/during every gathering and networking event known to man? Im-freaking-possible.
The whole thing's terrifying - which cluster of people (who all know each other sooooo well) to break into, how to hold up my end of the conversation without coming across as awkward or boring or God forbid, breaking one of the 155,000 unwritten rules of social interactions that people don't forgive you for, and how to "make face" and at least look like I'm more excited than nervous. Hellish, I tell you.
One of the things I've wanted the most, for the longest time, has just been to connect with people as easily and smoothly as others do, and to make that hop from acquaintances to friends without tripping somewhere. Alas, it has been far, far, far too much to ask.
Well, I had to get that off my chest. Happy Easter, everyone.