Neither have i been Married nor ever could hold a relationship for more then couple of months, reason why is because i didnt know the Gosple, but was very Worldy. But i would to share some comfort and would like to go deeper into Spirituality wich i would of preffered to write you in person, but i think this will do for now.
I remember wenn i was a teen about 16-17 years old, and i went out with a young lady who was little older but was had a very tough childhood and found out that she could get some sort of "love" with men....any man, really didnt matter to her. I went out with her for a couple of months but never slept with her, through that time she slept with other man more then i would like to mention now, and i did break up, but wenn she came back and said she was sorry, till this day i dont know how it worked or why but i had no problem nor any issue forgiving her with all my heart and taking her back, now i had to at least forgivenn her 3-4 times witout any problems until i realized that "that is what she was". it was natural for her to do these acts and knew that she would change, if ever. But today im 30 years old, and that is what i want back what i had befor, that incase my wife would cheat on me, i would have no problems like in my youth to forgive her and take her back.
Just a little story there
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There are many Options open for you atm, but i will ask you to remember that neither of these Options is the way Jesus Christ may wants you to handle it, but i hope you can get a clear mind, comfort and path that you believe with prayer would like to implement in your life through Jesus Christ.
If you want to fight for your Husband to stay Married, work things out and be able to Truly Forgive him in these Words forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing and help your husband back in faith not only towards his responsiblity as a husband and father but also as a deciple of Jesus Christ, then you will have to consider that it will take time, weeks, months, years...not for the breakthrough to happen but until all is finished and your Home is at peace and love, that at the moment you couldnt imagine.
We will start at the Begining, nothing i will write is for the intent to excuse your husbands action or to justify it, he sinned. There are some scriptures that you should take a closer look at, here are some 1 Peter 5:8 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour and Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Here i will asume you have no expierence and have given little to no thought to these scriptures, if you continue to do so then no good will come from it. These to Scriptures explain simply that: People Listen, you are not alone Satan is going up and down the earth to look for anyone he can get and he, even he has his army who will try and destroy all, not alone the ones who believe in the Gosple. Your husband seems to struggle not only with his own Lusts and his own Sins that is by the nature of Sin, but also now is confronted with Powers and Principalities that want to make sure that he stays Bondaged in his Sins, and it seems like you also have trouble against these Demonic Oppressions who keep whispering you thoughts, wich you do give head to were you then find no rest, neither a sound mind or soul. So from now on you might want to consider that you and your Husband are being Oppressed by Satan, the difference now is that you are being shown the Possiblity of it by me. You need to get delivered First of these Oppressions and know what your dealing with in a measure that is neccessary to handle your Oppressors then the ones who surround your Husband. Consider in all honesty that maybe someone is putting thoughts in your head and consider if these thoughts are from the Holy Spirit, yours or Demonic, if you believe there its from an unclean, unloving, unforgiving source...then get on your knees and pray for for everything that is neccesarry for you to get delivered and to fight back. To show Jesus Christ that you believe its demonic and you want to do something about it, for yourself, husband and children search for scriptures of Demonic Oppressions, Spiritual Gifts, search the internet for Testimonies of Demonic Oppressions and such, one person i can suggest is Bill Schneoblen, hope i spelled it right and his video How Jesus sets Captives Free. Everyday Praise the Lord with your own Writen Pslams, if you are Oppressed then trust Praising the Lord in truth and Worshiping him in truth will not only Tear these Creatures apart but full of fear are ready to run as soon as the presence of Jesus Christ is opon you. Then you might want to ask for discernment of Spirit, you will then "nothing to be afraid of" sense presences in your home clearly and depending on how much you can handle "without fear" Jesus Christ will open your eyes little more or less. That will help you recognize the spirits that work through Man, and yes Christians can have Demons in them, but only if there not FULL of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, if they are FULL of Jesus Christ and Holy Spirit they will do the Job for you and kick all spirits out befor you know what was going on. Test your faith commanding spirits in the name of Jesus Christ to depart, test it, if you see that you dont believe "be honest" that you can or that it works Pray for that Faith, and as time passes you notice your tone change to an Authoritive tone wich then they will flee. There is much more to this then what i have writen, and maybe Jesus Christ needs to change some things in you in order for you to handle such Gifts and Authority, but the more you put time and effort in it, the faster you humle yourself and if Jesus Christ wishes to give you these things the faster the Procces will go. Then by that time you will know what to do to help your Husband.
Matthew 6:24"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money. John 8:34Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin.
This again is something i take very seriously and what i will write might sound far off but i will write. For you does it seem like he is Serving Jesus Christ or Satan?, answer that question to yourself, again he might be a Christian, but he is not a Robot he can choose wich Life he wants to live, either the life Christ offers or the life Satan offers. If you sin you are a slave to sin, what does that mean?....it means Works have to be done to please a sin, it means bondage to a sin, worse case scenario he is like Isreal wenn God lead them out of Egypt and said "parraphrassing" we should of stayd in Egypt we had it better there", another words he enjoys it himself or loves it. Dont give your hopes up, sinners Loves there Sins, but Jesus Christ is able to turn the Tide by grace that at some point he will hate the works of the world as much as one might hate the Praise of Jesus Christ and works of unselfish love. So if you take all in all, "not excusing your husband nor his sins" you and your husband under these circumstances are having a haaaaaaaaaaaaaaard time, Not only do you have to deal with your own Sins, but with Satan and Demons. But no worries....in Jesus Christ if taken by faith all of these issues can be grabbed by the root and tear it out of the ground, and nonthing you have learned during that time will be in Vain.
on the other Hand....Leave your Husband, you have work to do with the Lord Jesus Christ and your Job as a Mother is not being made easier with a Husband that seems that he is paying more heed and attention to Tempting spirits then Faith and Rigthousness, but neither do i know your husband or what he has been through. Your Health is suffering be it in your Soul or Flesh, and you are being Consumed by all sorts of troubles and thoughts wich leaves no place for Holy Thoughts or the Glory of Jesus Christ. But that decision is a hard one to make, you have been married to your husband for so long, and a soultie has been established, and if you marriege with that man has been sanctified by Jesus Christ then mabye all of this, is for a reason. But if not and you married him by any other reason but with the intention if your husband may support you in your walk and take you to new heights in the heavenly realm were Jesus Christ abides, then it seems that marriege was not good in the eyes of God. Either Option you will choose, i would suggest to draw nearer onto the lord Jesus Christ, as fast as possible knowing that your oppressors will have to be delt with. Get your sound mind back and sound soul...then pray for guidance.
Hope i helped
