Funny And Clever Answers to Being Asked, "Why Are You Still Single?" -- What Are YOURS?

[Lynx]

Lynx,
I take it your an Alice Cooper fan? Should I turn you in as Person of interest too?

You can try but I'm not a very interesting person...

 

[Lynx]

Why am I single? The last woman who asked me that became my new wife. Whether she liked it or not.

 

[Lynx]

I use Allot of vinegar in my cooking! Do you like vinegar?

What's wrong with vinegar?

Do you also use a lot of lemon juice? Lemon juice is good too.

And in completely unrelated news, what are you doing this Saturday night?

 

[Lynx]

I use Allot of vinegar in my cooking! Do you like vinegar?

 

[Sculpt]

This $ingle is intact... no quarters given.

 

[Lynx]

This $ingle is intact... no quarters given.

 

[Tall_Timbers]

I'm single because I work at McDonald's. My low-fat, artificially flavored milkshake don't bring nothing to the yard. Even dogs and cats don't want it.

While Donald Trump worked at a McDonalds the other day, he accomplished the impossible: He fixed the milkshake machine! Now only the best quality milkshakes comes out of that machine. It's absolutely spectacular! and... no tax on milkshakes!

 

[RodB651]

This is an aside...

I was thinking about this song the other day and wondering what today's equivalent of a hot rod Ford and a $2 bill would be?

I mean with inflation and such, it's gotta be a SUV and about $40... but I'm not sure that would be enough to cover a decent dinner?

 

[Conformed]

I am single because I don't know how to tie a knot.

 

[Conformed]

I am single because me, myself, and I, don't know how to share. Wouldn't that make me triple single?

 

[Conformed]

I am single because I don't want to double my problems.

 

[true_believer]

My recent answers to this question have been, "I have multiple options right now to consider" or "I'm just waiting for The One".

 

[cinder]

Let's see:

I'm single because my dog is more possessive than a jealous ex

I'm single because I can't find anyone as good as the hero in my latest read.

I'm single because all the things I like to do are free and take place at home

I'm single because I haven't figured out how to clone myself yet

 

[Pipp]

Because I haven't found the one ...as I sit at home not looking and refusing everyone that approaches me . Why can't I find the one ??

 

[Lynx]

Let's see:

I'm single because my dog is more possessive than a jealous ex

I'm single because I can't find anyone as good as the hero in my latest read.

I'm single because all the things I like to do are free and take place at home

I'm single because I haven't figured out how to clone myself yet

That third one hits way too close to home. Figuratively and literally.

I'm still single because it turns out I like most dogs better than I like most people. And I like most cats better than I like most dogs.

 

[Cameron143]

While I'm not single, if I was I might go with: because most women don't want to live in my parent's basement.

 

[seoulsearch]

I'm single because I haven't figured out how to clone myself yet

 

[cinder]

Don't knock it. I'd really enjoy growing old with a clone of me. Could get really interesting if we could both do our own thing and have it be different things. Maybe she'd do all the techy stuff and I could go volunteer at church and the animal shelter all day.

 

[Noel25]

What a neat thread idea!
Mine would be…
I am single because I collect dolls and most guys don’t like them. I can’t figure out why?

 

[Lynx]

What a neat thread idea!
Mine would be…
I am single because I collect dolls and most guys don’t like them. I can’t figure out why?

In a creepy voice:

Or maybe YOU wouldn't like what I would do to your dolls...