Hey Everyone,
I'm sure most people know the story of Manti Te'o, the football player who claimed his girlfriend was dying, only to find out that she never even existed in the first place. How much he actually knew, and whether or not he presented the story just to gain public sympathy seems to remain a bit up in the air.
On the supposed Day of Love, I was thinking about some people who are apparently so desperate to be seen as part of the Coupled-Up Crowd of Our Culture that they actually go so far as to make someone up in their own mind (and apparently, in their Facebook posts.)
Back when I was in my 20's, I worked with a guy I'll call "Tony", who was apparently used to being part of The Coolest of the Cool Crowd. According to him, he had always been one of the most sought-after guys around and always dated only the best-looking girls.
Over a time span of a few years, he began to tell us about a particular girl whom I'll call "Maggie" (not her real name.)
If anyone can appreciate the irony of this, by using the name "Maggie", I am actually making up a fake name for the fake name of a fake person.
At any rate... "Tony" was always telling us about his high-flying adventures with "Maggie"--Maggie was a model who was going to school for some high-powered profession; Maggie made tons of money and loved to spend it on Tony and take him on extravagant shopping sprees and trips; Tony had broken up with Maggie because he was too independent; Maggie had gotten a new boyfriend but couldn't get over Tony and was constantly calling him, begging him to come back.
Now, this was long BEFORE the days of Facebook or social media. I had always raised my eyebrows a bit at Tony's stories. They always seemed a bit too carefully constructed and overly contrived. I also like to keep a ground in reality... While's it's possible that a gorgeous, wealthy, world-traveling model might become obsessed with a guy who was barely out of high school and making only slightly more than minimum wage (Jennifer Lopez or Madonna, perhaps)... It seemed... unlikely.
And so, the other girls at work and I began to ask to see pictures of Maggie, and when he he told us that she was traveling from long distances just to see him that weekend, we'd always tell him to bring her on by so that we could finally meet her, but he always had a ready excuse. They certainly wouldn't have time to stop in (to see us lower-class nobodies ) because Maggie had to jet off to another modeling job. (If she was so in demand as a model, then why was it that he could never produce a picture of her???)
Finally, one day while Tony was in the midst of yet another fantastical "Me & Maggie" fable, I just waited for him to finish, looked him in the eye, and said, "You know, Tony, I don't believe that Maggie even exists, and I never have." Tony looked at me for a minute, and then said, "Well that's rather... rude." But, curiously, that's all he said.
And, putting the final nails into the coffin, he didn't say much about Maggie again, except to mention that they'd "broken up" (and of course, HE has broken up with HER ), and he was now seeing someone else.
This time, he actually produced a picture, and it was of a very pretty, but also very normal, "everyday"-looking girl with a young child.
It makes me sad that people apparently feel so compelled to fit in or impress others that they will go so far as to make up an entirely non-existent person. I suppose it might even be called Reverse Catfishing?
* Have you known people who have done this?
* Did you confront them, and how did they react to being caught in a lie?
* What were there reasons, if they were willing to give any?
I'm sure most people know the story of Manti Te'o, the football player who claimed his girlfriend was dying, only to find out that she never even existed in the first place. How much he actually knew, and whether or not he presented the story just to gain public sympathy seems to remain a bit up in the air.
On the supposed Day of Love, I was thinking about some people who are apparently so desperate to be seen as part of the Coupled-Up Crowd of Our Culture that they actually go so far as to make someone up in their own mind (and apparently, in their Facebook posts.)
Back when I was in my 20's, I worked with a guy I'll call "Tony", who was apparently used to being part of The Coolest of the Cool Crowd. According to him, he had always been one of the most sought-after guys around and always dated only the best-looking girls.
Over a time span of a few years, he began to tell us about a particular girl whom I'll call "Maggie" (not her real name.)
If anyone can appreciate the irony of this, by using the name "Maggie", I am actually making up a fake name for the fake name of a fake person.
At any rate... "Tony" was always telling us about his high-flying adventures with "Maggie"--Maggie was a model who was going to school for some high-powered profession; Maggie made tons of money and loved to spend it on Tony and take him on extravagant shopping sprees and trips; Tony had broken up with Maggie because he was too independent; Maggie had gotten a new boyfriend but couldn't get over Tony and was constantly calling him, begging him to come back.
Now, this was long BEFORE the days of Facebook or social media. I had always raised my eyebrows a bit at Tony's stories. They always seemed a bit too carefully constructed and overly contrived. I also like to keep a ground in reality... While's it's possible that a gorgeous, wealthy, world-traveling model might become obsessed with a guy who was barely out of high school and making only slightly more than minimum wage (Jennifer Lopez or Madonna, perhaps)... It seemed... unlikely.
And so, the other girls at work and I began to ask to see pictures of Maggie, and when he he told us that she was traveling from long distances just to see him that weekend, we'd always tell him to bring her on by so that we could finally meet her, but he always had a ready excuse. They certainly wouldn't have time to stop in (to see us lower-class nobodies ) because Maggie had to jet off to another modeling job. (If she was so in demand as a model, then why was it that he could never produce a picture of her???)
Finally, one day while Tony was in the midst of yet another fantastical "Me & Maggie" fable, I just waited for him to finish, looked him in the eye, and said, "You know, Tony, I don't believe that Maggie even exists, and I never have." Tony looked at me for a minute, and then said, "Well that's rather... rude." But, curiously, that's all he said.
And, putting the final nails into the coffin, he didn't say much about Maggie again, except to mention that they'd "broken up" (and of course, HE has broken up with HER ), and he was now seeing someone else.
This time, he actually produced a picture, and it was of a very pretty, but also very normal, "everyday"-looking girl with a young child.
It makes me sad that people apparently feel so compelled to fit in or impress others that they will go so far as to make up an entirely non-existent person. I suppose it might even be called Reverse Catfishing?
* Have you known people who have done this?
* Did you confront them, and how did they react to being caught in a lie?
* What were there reasons, if they were willing to give any?