That stirs up deep memories.
A few years ago I had this realization as God spoke into my heart with a small still voice, that I've always been hearing Him speak inside. Even when I didnt believe. The voice cried No when I've done the bad and it said Do this or Stop to cause me to have mercy... I just chose to not listen to the voice... but although I choked it and it diminished to the point of almost not hearing, His voice was always there and never completely went away...