Dear Marie1985,
The phone issue is now in the past. I am not saying that I disagree with your ideas on this issue or that it wasn’t important. In fact, I agree with you and especially your compromise – locked down phone. In moving forward from this what I would focus on now is how you and your husband work through other issues as they come up in the future.·
Some things to consider that should be helpful are:
a. God’s headship order for the family
b. Your very important role in that
i. Helpmeet (behind every good man is a good woman)
c. Something I heard recently: no matter how right the husband or wife is in an argument the children always lose.
d. How to have peace, a loving household and a good relationship with your husband
e. God’s ways work in all situations although sometimes, especially in our day it is easy to question how it is possible.
Headship order Verses
Ephesians 5:22-24 NKJV 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Other verses on headship: Eph. 6:23, 1[SUP]st[/SUP] Cor. 11:3, John 6:38, Math. 26:39 Phil. 2:6-8, 1[SUP]st[/SUP] Peter 3:1…
Wife’s role in God’s headship plan:
Genesis 2:18 NKJV 18 And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." And 1[SUP]st[/SUP] Cor. 11:8-9.
When the headship order is not as God intended things will not be nearly as good as when it is the way God intended for it to be. I am not saying that this is the case in your home but it is something to consider. In today’s society, this is not a popular teaching and often not adhered to, at least not fully, but when it is the home becomes a warm and loving place for its members to find comfort love and refuge from a cold world.
One thing that can help the husband and wife to fulfill their God ordained roles is in love and respect. The husband showing the wife love and the wife showing the husband respect. This has biblical support (and my wife and I can testify to its effectiveness).
Ephesians 5:33 NKJV 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Also, Eph. 5:25.
A neat thing about this is that if the wife shows her husband respect (continually) in time the husband will show the wife love (vice versa is also true). The relationship becomes hat God has intended for it to be. I know this. It has happened with my wife and I.
Our church went through the DVD series called “Love and Respect” by Emmerson Eggerichs. He also has a book under the same title. I strongly recommend either or both. Another very helpful resource for the family is “For Women Only” and “For Men Only” by Eric And Shanti Feldhahn, both in print and audio. My wife and I both learned many amazing things about how different we see things. We as in man and woman. These were put together from thousands of questionnaires.
This all ties back to the headship order in that to show respect is to support decisions made by the leader. I am not saying the wife should not help in the decisions. It is an unwise man that does not consider his wife’s opinion, but in the end the husband will answer to God for the decisions made. And whatever the husband ultimately decides (provided of course it lines up with scripture) the wife should support.
Please don’t think I see you as the bad guy in this. Again, I respect your stand on it. I also am not saying that you are a disobedient, non-submitting wife. There is not enough information here from both you and your husband to know exactly what is going on. I do truly believe, from personal experience in my own home and with biblical support that by doing what I mention here yours will be a home that God will be comfortable to be in the center of. I also know that it is your husband that should be taking the steps to achieve the above but he is not the one that reached out. I have no idea where he is at spiritually. But to your credit you did. By following the outlined scriptures and recommended resources you can turn things around (If things truly need to be turned around.) so that he would take his rightful place as head of house etc… It will take time, much prayer and …. Work on your part. I do believe you will be blessed and be extremely grateful if you did this.
Again, if my assumptions are not correct in this, please forgive me and join me in praying that someone who truly needs to know this will read it.
Take care and God bless you all