Help Please Need Advice

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C

cassiemorris

Banned
Jun 24, 2012
85
1
0
Hi there

I need some advise this has happened to me twice.
First time was walking in the dark after work never had any problems round about 5 o clock. Anyway this Indian man came up to me all friendly i never met him in my life and was asking me where i going and what i doing asking if i had a boyfriend things like that and he kept putting his arm around me i said please don't touch me i don't know you, from the start i felt uneasy, was walking with me for ages he kept putting his arm around me this time i pushed him away as i was also at this point was defending myself being as i am a women and instinct was taking over i wanted to make a point in saying you can't do this leave me alone. came on too another street he say there no need to be afraid and i thought i got every reason in this situation to be afraid and on my gaurd i was thinking what the best thing to do. Only a bit longer walking i be by police station so was hoping i see a police car but never one around when you need protection there wasn't many people around. We was by a pub he say do you want a drink i said no so he went to the pub i went home and kept looking if he was behind me.
Second time was last month this i think Iraq man or somewhere by that region came to me in town was walking to my car as now i can drive yyyaayy, he said hi i know you from somewhere and i thought not again this time i was really really annoyed as was thinking why dose this happen to me again once was enough. He said whats your name i made it up as i don't trust this person if he knew me from somewhere he would know my name that's what i think he wanted to shake my hand i said sorry i don't want to be rude at that time two men was walking towards us i shouted I DON'T KNOW YOU LEAVE ME ALONE, but they probably didn't want get involved but i needed help i didn't feel safe he say no need to be afraid of me and he went his way i was so relived. So now it has happened twice already i need advice on what the most sensible thing to do as i going to get so angry i going to do something that i shouldn't do and i love my neighbours no matter where they from but this coming to any women and making them uncomfortable is making me weary and making me angry at them and it's hard how to put the right word in because i don't want to hurt anybody i just want everybody to be at peace and enjoy life and be really happy and joyful but i don't want to be scared. If i scared or too angry i don't want to act out on it as it is the wrong way. So i don't know if this is the Devil at play here or not but i did feel temptation to punch them fight in the face i only pushed this one of them away but if he carried on i could of done something which is wrong. So if anybody can give me advice i be very grateful for taking your time to help me.
God bless all of you out there xxxxxxxx
 
cassiemorris said:
Hi there

I need some advise this has happened to me twice.
First time was walking in the dark after work never had any problems round about 5 o clock. Anyway this Indian man came up to me all friendly i never met him in my life and was asking me where i going and what i doing asking if i had a boyfriend things like that and he kept putting his arm around me i said please don't touch me i don't know you, from the start i felt uneasy, was walking with me for ages he kept putting his arm around me this time i pushed him away as i was also at this point was defending myself being as i am a women and instinct was taking over i wanted to make a point in saying you can't do this leave me alone. came on too another street he say there no need to be afraid and i thought i got every reason in this situation to be afraid and on my gaurd i was thinking what the best thing to do. Only a bit longer walking i be by police station so was hoping i see a police car but never one around when you need protection there wasn't many people around. We was by a pub he say do you want a drink i said no so he went to the pub i went home and kept looking if he was behind me.
Second time was last month this i think Iraq man or somewhere by that region came to me in town was walking to my car as now i can drive yyyaayy, he said hi i know you from somewhere and i thought not again this time i was really really annoyed as was thinking why dose this happen to me again once was enough. He said whats your name i made it up as i don't trust this person if he knew me from somewhere he would know my name that's what i think he wanted to shake my hand i said sorry i don't want to be rude at that time two men was walking towards us i shouted I DON'T KNOW YOU LEAVE ME ALONE, but they probably didn't want get involved but i needed help i didn't feel safe he say no need to be afraid of me and he went his way i was so relived. So now it has happened twice already i need advice on what the most sensible thing to do as i going to get so angry i going to do something that i shouldn't do and i love my neighbours no matter where they from but this coming to any women and making them uncomfortable is making me weary and making me angry at them and it's hard how to put the right word in because i don't want to hurt anybody i just want everybody to be at peace and enjoy life and be really happy and joyful but i don't want to be scared. If i scared or too angry i don't want to act out on it as it is the wrong way. So i don't know if this is the Devil at play here or not but i did feel temptation to punch them fight in the face i only pushed this one of them away but if he carried on i could of done something which is wrong. So if anybody can give me advice i be very grateful for taking your time to help me.
God bless all of you out there xxxxxxxx
Click to expand...

do you all have a portable on call system thing there here in the USA we have a company that you can just push a button and there is a live person who will stay on the device with you until you feel safe here it is called 5 star
Great Call Splash 5Star Urgent Response Review 2016
 
maybe something like this would make you feel safer also if you have a hand bag or small back pack bring wasp and hornet spray with you ever place you go if you feel unsafe enough you can use that for protection it sprays up to 30 feet and will burn the daylights out of someones eyes.
 
cassiemorris said:
Hi there

I need some advise this has happened to me twice.
First time was walking in the dark after work never had any problems round about 5 o clock. Anyway this Indian man came up to me all friendly i never met him in my life and was asking me where i going and what i doing asking if i had a boyfriend things like that and he kept putting his arm around me i said please don't touch me i don't know you, from the start i felt uneasy, was walking with me for ages he kept putting his arm around me this time i pushed him away as i was also at this point was defending myself being as i am a women and instinct was taking over i wanted to make a point in saying you can't do this leave me alone. came on too another street he say there no need to be afraid and i thought i got every reason in this situation to be afraid and on my gaurd i was thinking what the best thing to do. Only a bit longer walking i be by police station so was hoping i see a police car but never one around when you need protection there wasn't many people around. We was by a pub he say do you want a drink i said no so he went to the pub i went home and kept looking if he was behind me.
Second time was last month this i think Iraq man or somewhere by that region came to me in town was walking to my car as now i can drive yyyaayy, he said hi i know you from somewhere and i thought not again this time i was really really annoyed as was thinking why dose this happen to me again once was enough. He said whats your name i made it up as i don't trust this person if he knew me from somewhere he would know my name that's what i think he wanted to shake my hand i said sorry i don't want to be rude at that time two men was walking towards us i shouted I DON'T KNOW YOU LEAVE ME ALONE, but they probably didn't want get involved but i needed help i didn't feel safe he say no need to be afraid of me and he went his way i was so relived. So now it has happened twice already i need advice on what the most sensible thing to do as i going to get so angry i going to do something that i shouldn't do and i love my neighbours no matter where they from but this coming to any women and making them uncomfortable is making me weary and making me angry at them and it's hard how to put the right word in because i don't want to hurt anybody i just want everybody to be at peace and enjoy life and be really happy and joyful but i don't want to be scared. If i scared or too angry i don't want to act out on it as it is the wrong way. So i don't know if this is the Devil at play here or not but i did feel temptation to punch them fight in the face i only pushed this one of them away but if he carried on i could of done something which is wrong. So if anybody can give me advice i be very grateful for taking your time to help me.
God bless all of you out there xxxxxxxx
Click to expand...
I'm pretty sure there are absolutely no cultures where it is socially acceptable to grab a woman and treat her like an old pal when you're drunk. I'm pretty sure every culture will have some creeps in it who will do that anyway fully aware they're being creeps but they get to touch unaware women who don't know how to handle such a situation.

Try your knee in their groin, if you aren't need a police station, and then run -- very fast. If you are near a police station, who cares if no cops are outside? They're inside, and anyone is always free to walk into the cop station and tell a cop some man is harassing her right outside so she came in to find a cop to help.

Loving your neighbor has absolutely nothing to do with being groped by very strange strangers. The second guy? I would have just said, "No. You don't know me and I don't know you, but have a nice day." If he was innocent, he will accept that. If he's not, he'll harass more, but at least you know you're being harassed, and that's when your knee needs to align just right to his groin, just under the understanding that I don't have room in my pocketbook for insecticide.
blushing-smiley-emoticon.gif


(Rumor has it pepper spray is effective, but I have enough junk in my pocketbook that I wouldn't find it for 10 minutes... and yet? Still not enough room for a can of insecticide.)
 
Depleted said:
(Rumor has it pepper spray is effective, but I have enough junk in my pocketbook that I wouldn't find it for 10 minutes... and yet? Still not enough room for a can of insecticide.)
Click to expand...

I was gonna suggest pepper spray : p I carry mine in the front pocket of my backpack with my keys. If I needed it I could grab it quickly. And when I walk at night, I just keep it in my hand at all times.

Its good to be prepared.
 
I use to get lots of attention from Asian men in my younger days as I'm
mixed race - still do on occasions. Although now I just twist it around and
preach the gospel to them. They either run a mile or start debating religion!

I think the thing is to be aware of your surroundings and whether you are on your
own or among lots of people. Walk with purpose don't hang around, don't wear
crippling high heel shoes when walking on your own in the dark etc. Don't get
distracted by answering your mobile phone and lose track of what is going on
around you.

Some people you will just attract, it doesn't matter what you do. But most victims are
carefully selected by how vulnerable they appear to be or how provocative they appear
to be. I'm not saying you were being provocative by the way. But just think about what you
were doing at the time, were you walking slow, did you look lost, were you dressed
attractively etc.

Not that it's an excuse to attack someone just because they look nice, but Asian men
especially seem to see women as asking for it. Ps I know this doesn't apply to all Asian men
but it does to many.

When I've come across this situation, I've just given them "the look" and ignored them.
Dont get into any sort of conversation with them and continue on your way.

If you get really stuck, shout hello to someone in the distance and wave, go to the first house
with a light on and knock on the door. Flag down a passing car.

At one point I got a personal alarm you hold it in your hand and it has a pin in it, when you
yank the pin out it makes an ear piercing sound, so loud it hurts! It attracts attention and
also puts off a would be attacker.


I had one scary moment at a bus stop, so I just got on the first bus which came even
though it wasn't the one I wanted.

The key is to think about what you would do and rehearse it in your mind. Many
such people rely on the element of surprise and the fact that a victim will be too nice
and polite to ignore them or won't know what to do etc. So if they come across
someone who is confident and appears strong minded etc then they will leave you
alone.

Above all prayer.

I have a friend who was followed off a train at a remote train station. She just turned
and pointed at the man and yelled at the top of her voice "go away in the name of Jesus".

Apparently the man looked stunned and went!
 
Miri has given great advice!

I've always taken personal safety very seriously, I never go out alone after dark. In daylight I keep to the inside of the path. I'm always aware of my surroundings and don't loiter.
 
MadParrotWoman said:
Miri has given great advice!

I've always taken personal safety very seriously, I never go out alone after dark. In daylight I keep to the inside of the path. I'm always aware of my surroundings and don't loiter.
Click to expand...
You also have MadParrotWoman going for you. lol

Just kidding, but I do make attempts at acting the scary kind of insane if I'm apprehensive around a guy. More of a start shouting like I'm arguing with someone but no one is there, and then make gestures that look like I just want to hurt the invisible person too. It makes men suddenly find a reason to want to go to the other side of the street.
 
Does the UK have a non- emergency number for the police?

I'd call it, tell them where I was and what was going on. If something happens, they know, but if you're really lucky, it will scare the guy off once he realize you have the police on the line.
 
Have to say I do go out in the dark, I've never ever had a problem on
dark evenings ever, the issues I've encountered have been in daylight.
 
wwjd_kilden said:
Does the UK have a non- emergency number for the police?

I'd call it, tell them where I was and what was going on. If something happens, they know, but if you're really lucky, it will scare the guy off once he realize you have the police on the line.
Click to expand...
I think we do but I'm not sure what it is.
 
The non emergency police number is 101 but it's for general enquiries.
Or to report crimes not currently in progress, so if you got back to your car and found
it had been broken into etc.

But if you feel you are in danger that someone is following you then that would be
an emergency so ring 999.
 
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