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BrittanyJones
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So agree! I'm not going to try to constantly change myself to get the guy to come back to me. (Marriage is different, but hopefully we are making the right choices in the dating relationship first.)
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My housecleaning was just interrupted by a gf who said that a guy she thought might "turn into something" was flirting around with someone else, but she was "going to fight for him".
How do you all feel about that "fighting for someone" thing?
To me, someone either wants to be with you or they don't. Seems like if you have to "fight for them" it's because:
1. They are just not as into you as you might think;
2. You're probably on their "just friends" list;
3. They might be a player;
4. They will need you to "fight for them" throughout whatever relationship you might have with them because they are insecure and will need that sort of constant emotional re-enforcement, which can get VERY old, VERY quickly.
If I like someone and they give me the idea that they like me too, and I see them leading someone else on, game over. You're either in or out.
I don't think she cared much for my thoughts on the topic.
What say you?
I'm divided on this one because I think there is really something to spinning girls' heads and those dump your boyfriend speeches go further than people like to give them credit for. On the other hand, there is a lot of traction to that phrase that is the title of this thread.
LOL you a're so funny!
About the question...
This is the first time I've heard of someone actually say they are going to "fight" for someone. I mean there is a term that guys use called "____blocking" (I cant say it here) but it only applies to a certain event that took place, not an overall fight strategy. I think she's already lost the battle before she even begins.
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah
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So how do i tell a guy im into him, but i cant stand looking at him... or being in the same room with him... or talking to him for that matter???
Ah yes, the classic dilemma of the girl who has fallen in love. Personally, I don't know why you chicks insist on hiding your feelings until he tips his hat first even if it does go back to the Victorian ages and beyond. I guess I would say its okay to be super nervous around this guy, he might even find it kinda cute. Do you become super clumsy too when he is around? Maybe when you trip and land in his arms you should just quickly kiss him. It could be a really romantic way to kick off the relationship.
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah
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waaaait waaaaaait waaaaait.... I was meaning if i seriously cant stand him.
Love?? yeah...... no.
Im clumsy in general
I think its pretty clear that the only way you could be into someone you can't stand is if you're in love with them... and probably fighting it. Uh, oh, now you've noticed you're clumsy around him too and trying to down play it into a general condition. I think you should further explore this one, it sounds like the making of a classic Hollywood movie.
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah
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See_KING_Truth
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah
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See_KING_Truth
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My housecleaning was just interrupted by a gf who said that a guy she thought might "turn into something" was flirting around with someone else, but she was "going to fight for him".
How do you all feel about that "fighting for someone" thing?
To me, someone either wants to be with you or they don't. Seems like if you have to "fight for them" it's because:
1. They are just not as into you as you might think;
2. You're probably on their "just friends" list;
3. They might be a player;
4. They will need you to "fight for them" throughout whatever relationship you might have with them because they are insecure and will need that sort of constant emotional re-enforcement, which can get VERY old, VERY quickly.
If I like someone and they give me the idea that they like me too, and I see them leading someone else on, game over. You're either in or out.
I don't think she cared much for my thoughts on the topic.
What say you?
Cognitive Dissonance is an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding conflicting ideas simultaneously. Like buyers remorse, especially in something expensive. Like when I bought my Mini Cooper S, I really wanted a Porsche Boxster but, the Mini seemed like the sensible alternative. Not actually knowing if I was going to live in Washington State or Georgia, influenced my choice and I played it safe. I wound up living in Florida and San Diego with a Mini that had higher maintenance costs and was ferociously unreliable. What hurt the most was that I had compromised myself and what I knew was true for the sake of appealing to some idea of reasonable practicality.
Its hard for me to fall in love with someone I don't know. Even harder for me to try to get to know someone without giving off the impression that I'm interested in them. I know what love is; I've been there before. I know it is not a measure of justifiable reasons to be with someone. It is not a cerebral action to be taken like picking out parking spaces. But what I don't know is how to get there from here, back to finding that visceral spark, back to feeling the pressure of the unstoppable force that sleeps within me.
I have a LOT of female friends and I could come up with a variety of reasons why I would want to date any of them. At the end of the day, I don't want to be stuck with someone knowing that there is no spark but, there could have been if I was listening hard enough.
I agree with what Hommer has said.
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Jullianna
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I can see your point, Hommer. I was thinking about it today (questioning my response to her really since she wasn't too thrilled about it
) and I'm still thinking she probably jumped the gun and was thinking the guy was more into her than he actually was. Sometimes when someone is just being nice it can be taken the wrong way.I can understand the second part of what you had to say as well. If things don't work out with a guy, I don't wish him any ill will and try to end things as nicely as possible. If he ends up with someone else, I just figure that person is the one he was meant to be with and I've been saved from making a mistake.
I've only really known two kinds of guys dating wise: The nice guys you spend time with to see if there's anything there and the ones who keep scorecards who know how to fake being a nice guy for a short period of time.
But, I guess there are guys who fit somewhere in the middle. 
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Jullianna
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Jullianna
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Cognitive Dissonance is an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding conflicting ideas simultaneously. Like buyers remorse, especially in something expensive. Like when I bought my Mini Cooper S, I really wanted a Porsche Boxster but, the Mini seemed like the sensible alternative. Not actually knowing if I was going to live in Washington State or Georgia, influenced my choice and I played it safe. I wound up living in Florida and San Diego with a Mini that had higher maintenance costs and was ferociously unreliable. What hurt the most was that I had compromised myself and what I knew was true for the sake of appealing to some idea of reasonable practicality.
Its hard for me to fall in love with someone I don't know. Even harder for me to try to get to know someone without giving off the impression that I'm interested in them. I know what love is; I've been there before. I know it is not a measure of justifiable reasons to be with someone. It is not a cerebral action to be taken like picking out parking spaces. But what I don't know is how to get there from here, back to finding that visceral spark, back to feeling the pressure of the unstoppable force that sleeps within me.
I have a LOT of female friends and I could come up with a variety of reasons why I would want to date any of them. At the end of the day, I don't want to be stuck with someone knowing that there is no spark but, there could have been if I was listening hard enough.
I get that. You meet someone and there's something about them that makes you curious and you want to know more, but you proceed with caution because you have concerns that if it's not what you THINK it MIGHT be, you may stand accused of leading them on. And that's a very unpleasant feeling.
Not everyone has Hommer's laid back attitude and wants to part on good terms if it comes to that. Those are the most awkward moments and I hate them. Then again, if we let fear of failure hold us back, aren't we going to be setting ourselves up to fail? Maybe we think too much and expect the worst sometimes.
Maybe I'm just old school. I dunno. I think we make all of this far more complicated than it needs to be. Whatever happened to guy meets girl, guy likes girl, girl likes guy, guy asks girl out, they get to know one another and see what happens? I know from experience that it works for christian couples too...or ....maybe it's just my KISS method training kickin' in again.
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NukePooch
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seventhunder
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allforfun
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NukePooch
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Maybe I'm just old school. I dunno. I think we make all of this far more complicated than it needs to be. Whatever happened to guy meets girl, guy likes girl, girl likes guy, guy asks girl out, they get to know one another and see what happens? I know from experience that it works for christian couples too...or ....maybe it's just my KISS method training kickin' in again.
I think that went out back quite some time ago...but I wouldn't mind it coming back.
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NukePooch
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You really are all about the subtly aren't you?
Well, this is Nod we're talking about here...it would be gentle compared to her normal methods.