Hey can a fellow Christian help me?

[Callie_Wallie]

I think that part of the healing process for both of you will be to let go of any future expectations. By all means pray for him to be saved and that God would have his way in this man's life, I'm all for that. I just don't think it very wise to be asking for him back while you're trying to get over him and be healed from the stuff that went wrong. And I would imagine that it would be very hard to be back in each other's lives and not naturally fall into the familiar and unhealthy patterns of relationship that you'd previously established, at least not anytime in the near future.

Thank you for your advice, it's going to be so sad to let go of him. I wear my heart on my sleeve & when I love someone I love them with all my heart so I'm in a lot of pain right now. I will keep praying for him though. I want him to be saved.

Okay thank you, I'm sorry for my post being so long. I will remember that for next time. I have a problem with posting short paragraphs lol my mind just wants to write all the details & I keep writing.

 

[Callie_Wallie]

You only have five minutes to edit. You can't change your post now. Any of then.

Well I just joined this website so I did not know that. Thank you for telling me.

Yes I understand, I will try & not write so much next time. Sorry for that.

I don't quite understand what you're getting at when I said that I admitted my wrongdoings, why make me feel bad when I already feel bad? Please just be kind, thank you.

 

[Callie_Wallie]

Well Callie - I did read your whole post and what I am going to say is probably not the kind of thing yo're going to want to hear. Here it is anyway and it can be summarized by saying this - the advice you seek isn't going to be available to you. The cat's already out of the bag. You're dealing with a consequence of actions and not an opportunity of choice

I hope I don't sound like I'm preaching here but you said you knew premarital sex was sinful. But did you know why? Did you know what that does, what it causes? Do you understand you're on a broken road now? A directionless road? When God commanded his people of Israel with over 630 different laws (not counting all the temple laws) do you think He was doing that to hear himself talk? No, of course not. He was trying His best to make life as enjoyable and fruitful as possible. After all, He started it all in a garden where everything was perfect - the weather, the food, everything. But the consequence of a sinful act distorted the path He knew would be good. Another sin made it crooked some more till soon the consequence of sin made the life difficult and confusing and unhappy where one is lost in their own consequences with no clear choices available.

That's where I think you're at. And this is also your opportunity for new choices. I couldn't tell you whether your relationship with this man would lead to marriage or not and frankly, it's immaterial. What I can tell you is you sold yourself. You gave intimacy to a person without commitment from either him or yourself and you did these things not knowing whether your Father in Heaven was for this or against this. You made no mention of this. At all.

This is the broken road. You can continue down this maze of a rabbit hole or you can make new choices. Know, though, that it saddens God to see His child so unhappy and confused and unsure. Know too, that Christ was sacrificed by His blood on the ground for your very soul. He forgives you Callie - but please remember this: He does not forgive the sin. The sin goes on and corrupts your world like mine does mine, like all who reads this and all who don't.

I will pray you choose to understand what God wants for Callie and to read His word, and to understand that His desire for your life is not borne of a Father's uncompromising strictness. It is borne of Love.

Yes that is true, I was too caught up in my relationship to understand. What Jesus said should be important to me. I want to want until I am married to ever have sexual relations again. The marriage bed should be made to be kept holy.

Thank you & may God bless you

 

[Pipp]

Sweetie, sometimes a clean break is the best way to go .

 

[Callie_Wallie]

Sweetie, sometimes a clean break is the best way to go .

Thank you, I know that I have to move on & live the life God wants for me. I think my heart needs to heal more though for a very long time because I loved him & I thought I was going to marry him.

 

[Subhumanoidal]

You only have five minutes to edit. You can't change your post now. Any of then.

Well I just joined this website so I did not know that. Thank you for telling me.

Yes I understand, I will try & not write so much next time. Sorry for that.

I don't quite understand what you're getting at when I said that I admitted my wrongdoings, why make me feel bad when I already feel bad? Please just be kind, thank you.



You are free to write as much as you wish, but the longer it is the less likely people are to read it or even attempt to. Some may skim it to get the basics but miss a lot of details. It's simply to your own benefit to he aware and make choices accordingly.
Sometimes people need to vent more than get advice. Venting is fine for long posts since the details are less important, but you'll still get people skimming and offering advice, requested or not.

What I was saying is people likely didn't read everything so they missed large chunks of what you wrote. So if you acknowledged, already, your mistakes, but it was buried in all of that, people will bring it up because they hadn't seen it already. So when you write such long posts expect that people will not read it all and may bring up things you've touched on.

Also you have to expect that there are always those quick to condemn or eager to beat people over the head with their mistakes. Being a Christian site doesn't mean those people don't exist here as well.
But there are many here with good intentions and doing there best. They may say a wrong thing, misunderstand something you've said or you may misinterpret their words or tone. It may be a better benefit for you to not react so strongly and first clarify with that person.
I know when romantic issues are brought up it can make us defensive and touchy when discussing it, but we have to try to set that aside and listen for things we have missed that others see.
If you ease up on everyone you may learn more than you came seeking and walk away better off than you expected. These people Have taken time out of their lives to offer to help you so they clearly care enough about you to decide to spend time helping you so perhaps give them a chance and listen without defenses. You may even make some friends from it all.

Hopefully all goes well for you.

 

[Callie_Wallie]

You only have five minutes to edit. You can't change your post now. Any of then.

Well I just joined this website so I did not know that. Thank you for telling me.

Yes I understand, I will try & not write so much next time. Sorry for that.

I don't quite understand what you're getting at when I said that I admitted my wrongdoings, why make me feel bad when I already feel bad? Please just be kind, thank you.



You are free to write as much as you wish, but the longer it is the less likely people are to read it or even attempt to. Some may skim it to get the basics but miss a lot of details. It's simply to your own benefit to he aware and make choices accordingly.
Sometimes people need to vent more than get advice. Venting is fine for long posts since the details are less important, but you'll still get people skimming and offering advice, requested or not.

What I was saying is people likely didn't read everything so they missed large chunks of what you wrote. So if you acknowledged, already, your mistakes, but it was buried in all of that, people will bring it up because they hadn't seen it already. So when you write such long posts expect that people will not read it all and may bring up things you've touched on.

Also you have to expect that there are always those quick to condemn or eager to beat people over the head with their mistakes. Being a Christian site doesn't mean those people don't exist here as well.
But there are many here with good intentions and doing there best. They may say a wrong thing, misunderstand something you've said or you may misinterpret their words or tone. It may be a better benefit for you to not react so strongly and first clarify with that person.
I know when romantic issues are brought up it can make us defensive and touchy when discussing it, but we have to try to set that aside and listen for things we have missed that others see.
If you ease up on everyone you may learn more than you came seeking and walk away better off than you expected. These people Have taken time out of their lives to offer to help you so they clearly care enough about you to decide to spend time helping you so perhaps give them a chance and listen without defenses. You may even make some friends from it all.

Hopefully all goes well for you.

I was not being defensive, like I said I was offended because of what that person said to me but if I make my paragraphs shorter maybe they can read it all & read that I admit my wrongdoings so then they would be able to read my whole story.

Okay I understand that like I've said I am new here & I didn't know that I wouldn't have that much space to type in okay?

Well as Christians we are called to be loving & you weren't very loving or understanding in your message to me.

I would like to delete my post so I can shorten it & post a new one & have people who hopefully understand me. So how do I delete this post?

 

[Subhumanoidal]

I was not being defensive, like I said I was offended because of what that person said to me but if I make my paragraphs shorter maybe they can read it all & read that I admit my wrongdoings so then they would be able to read my whole story.

Okay I understand that like I've said I am new here & I didn't know that I wouldn't have that much space to type in okay?

Well as Christians we are called to be loving & you weren't very loving or understanding in your message to me.

I would like to delete my post so I can shorten it & post a new one & have people who hopefully understand me. So how do I delete this post?

You still seem defensive and being rude yourself so this is my last response.

And while I attempted to reiterate a point I felt you missed previously, which you missed the second time, then got irritated at me for repeating myself to answer you I must repeat myself again. There is a 5 minute limit to edit or delete posts, as I've previously stated.

Ok. I'm done responding and with this thread.

 

[Callie_Wallie]

*Sigh* so I can't delete this post? Well I guess I can't re post again to make it more readable so people can understand. Oh well. God bless you everybody.

 

[selfdissolving]

To fellow commenters, please don't tell me that I have issues - I know that I messed up in my relationship I know it is my fault & I know I have sinned for having sex outside of marriage but I have repented & plan to live according to God. Please don't judge me or if you don't have anything encouraging to say please don't comment to me. My heart can't take it. Thank you

So basically, you want us to tell you what you want to hear, not any actual advice.

 

[Oncefallen]

Since the OP has chosen to leave us there is no need to discuss this further.