Can use some advice.been married almost 25 years and no longer physically attracted to my wife. I like she feels the same way. I’m in great shape and most people would say I have an athletic physique. She has gained weight and doesn’t put any effort into how she looks. I stay with her because we have a special needs child and we need each other to help raise him. However, don’t feel much attraction from her towards me. We were best friends and the center of each other’s world before my son was born, that was 12 years ago. Then she became this person I don’t recognize
Hebrews 13:5 New International Version (NIV)
5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and
be content with what you have, because God has said,
“
Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you.”
When you took your vows you also made a promise that sounds much like your favorite verse.
"I, ___, take thee, ___, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,
till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith [or] pledge myself to you."
A vow and covenant before God. A special needs child takes a lot of work including stress. Her weight could be from stress and not having the time to do everything needed to lose weight. Taking care of children in general is exhausting.
Yours or her looks are physical and will change or wrinkle in age. One accident can turn yourself overweight. Or sickness and then what if your spouse wanted to leave you because you dont have the shape?
She isn't returning the love like you want because you are not putting it in. You need to stop being so focused on the physical. Biologically she is the same as any woman. The person you fell in love with is the same person just matured.
For your child. Love your spouse, cherish her, be content with what you have. That child needs a strong parent duo who can give him/her the best odds in life.
Love isn't only a emotion or feeling but largely an action. It easy to love in the better, the rich, and the healthy times of life. But to love when things or are it's worse, money struggles and facing sickness or even death often involves agape love. A sacrifice on ones part to love even when things are at its worst. This love is the type of love were Jesus even though we as in sinners deserved justice, he still sacrificed himself for all the world. That was including the ones who beat and spat in his face. Not because they deserved it but because God so loved the world it was bigger than emotion.
The crazy thing about love being an action is as the more you act, the more the feelings of love come forth. The more you act, the more others respond in the same way or be moved by their own emotions to respond in a deeper more emotional way.
Rediscover the heart of your spouse. Date her as if it was the first time. Rekindle the fire. The coals are still hot and just need a spark.
God will never forsake you. Jesus like the groom will never forsake the bride as the church. Do not forsake this women over looks.
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