High-functioning autistic guy would like to strike up a friendship with a lady with a view to deeper things, but how do I go about it?

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commodoredude

commodoredude

Member
#1
Jun 26, 2020
90
70
18
#1
Dear friends, members of and visitors to Christianchat.com,

I've been volunteering a couple of times now to hand food out to hungry people. It's been a huge amount of fun and I'd love to do it again if I'm able to, because I'm just about to start a paying job – praise God for a paying job! I love interacting with people and making friends and plan to have a wife and child one day.

However, something has come up and I need some advice, please. The last and second time I volunteered, I met this (Mexican?) girl Melissa and thought she was kinda cute. “Hmm, I wonder if we could be friends?” I thought to myself. I'm still a brand-new “Green Card” immigrant to America so my Mom is my transport at the moment, so I was chatting her up while my Mom was coming to pick me up; just ordinary “platonic friend conversation”. We seemed to get along. I was lamenting to her that volunteer opportunities with organization X (I want to protect their identity) were either too early in the morning (remember Mom has to lift me), or too far from home. But I got so excited when Melissa said there was a food handout happening this coming Wednesday a stone's throw away from home! So I definitely want to go.

I thought it was incredible when Melissa entrusted her mobile number to me. I think she was the one who volunteered it when I needed to call her for further details on Wednesday's opportunity. She's now in my iPhone contacts, but I haven't dialled her number yet. I want to check with you guys first. I don't yet know if she's a Christian or if she's too young for me, but I just want to see where this goes. I don't want to get overbearing and only use her mobile number to ask her out on dates. Then she'll regret giving me her number. I don't want that to happen. What do you guys think?

When I get my first pay check, probably at the end of August, I was thinking of taking her out, just as a platonic friend, to an outdoor dining restaurant with misters, and practice masks and social distancing. In my opinion, because of COVID-19 it's next to impossible to go from a basic friendship to marriage with somebody using a computer, a webcam and microphone. To befriend people, you have to actually put your mask on and meet them face-to-face. Meeting Melissa while volunteering was a very rare opportunity to make this possible, so that's why I have my eye on Melissa. Lizette was another volunteer that I was watching out of the corner of my eye.

Thanks for the advice and God Bless! Roy.
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
#2
Sep 17, 2018
4,061
3,175
113
#2
@commodoredude

My advice is to slow down. Call and get the information about the next volunteer opportunity and maybe try to chat before hanging up. Before going on a date I'd get to know enough about her to ensure you're actually interested in Her. Right now you're interested in this idea of who you think she is.
A few phone calls, or exchanging Facebook to chat before meeting again.

Also decide now if you want to pursue her or not. Having a second person in line is often not a good thing.
 
commodoredude

commodoredude

Member
#3
Jun 26, 2020
90
70
18
#3
Subhumanoidal said:
@commodoredude

My advice is to slow down. Call and get the information about the next volunteer opportunity and maybe try to chat before hanging up. Before going on a date I'd get to know enough about her to ensure you're actually interested in Her. Right now you're interested in this idea of who you think she is.
A few phone calls, or exchanging Facebook to chat before meeting again.

Also decide now if you want to pursue her or not. Having a second person in line is often not a good thing.
Click to expand...
Thanks very much, that was helpful. Thanks also for understanding my autistic brain. You seemed to pick things up in my e-mail that I didn't. Well done, thanks very much.
 
K

Kim82

Guest
#6
#6
Well now, I was reading in your other post where you said you have had over 100 relationships. That's quite an "impressive" résumé. You're the guru on this topic, and yet you ask for advise. You should write a book: How to strike up a friendship with a lady with a view to deeper things, while eyeing someone else just in case it don't work out. By High Functioning Artistic Guy. (You seem to like art so)

You are a real guru in that you see opportunities where others might not. You volunteer to do some charity work and BAM! You start eyeing two women. That's what I call high functioning. Bruh you da man
 
1ofthem

1ofthem

Senior Member
#7
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,921
113
#7
Kim82 said:
Well now, I was reading in your other post where you said you have had over 100 relationships. That's quite an "impressive" résumé. You're the guru on this topic, and yet you ask for advise. You should write a book: How to strike up a friendship with a lady with a view to deeper things, while eyeing someone else just in case it don't work out. By High Functioning Artistic Guy. (You seem to like art so)

You are a real guru in that you see opportunities where others might not. You volunteer to do some charity work and BAM! You start eyeing two women. That's what I call high functioning. Bruh you da man
Click to expand...
He said high functioning autistic guy. Your post is pretty rude...just saying.
 
kinda

kinda

Senior Member
#8
Jun 26, 2013
3,932
1,506
113
#8
commodoredude said:
When I get my first pay check, probably at the end of August, I was thinking of taking her out, just as a platonic friend, to an outdoor dining restaurant with misters, and practice masks and social distancing.
Click to expand...
Commodore64,

If you don't get regular checks, why are gonna spend it on a girl you don't know?!?! Save your money, because you might need it later. If you spend a whole bunch of money on the first date, she will expect that every date.

I really think guys are clueless when it comes to ladies, guys don't really know how woman think. For instance, you think she is cute, so you want to blow your money on her. Before you spend a penny, why don't you see, if you have anything in common with her?!?! Ask her what she likes to do on the weekends?

Forget it, I'm out. All I see is a complete disaster in this scenario. My best advice is to save your money and help your family out. Good riddance.


 
kinda

kinda

Senior Member
#9
Jun 26, 2013
3,932
1,506
113
#9
Kim82 said:
Well now, I was reading in your other post where you said you have had over 100 relationships. That's quite an "impressive" résumé. You're the guru on this topic, and yet you ask for advise. You should write a book: How to strike up a friendship with a lady with a view to deeper things, while eyeing someone else just in case it don't work out. By High Functioning Artistic Guy. (You seem to like art so)

You are a real guru in that you see opportunities where others might not. You volunteer to do some charity work and BAM! You start eyeing two women. That's what I call high functioning. Bruh you da man
Click to expand...

I find this post to have a ring of truth in it, she speaks her mind. Any man that gets involved with Kim, better have his act together, or she will smack him back to next week. You go girl!


 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#10
Mar 13, 2014
42,598
17,062
113
69
Tennessee
#10
What are your ages? You are not sure if she is a Christian but since she volunteers her time to help provide for the hungry she sure is probably not an atheist. You could probably determine if she was a Christian or not just by observing how she treats people. This may be a good topic to discuss if she consents to a platonic date at the end of August when you have some money saved from your job. For being autistic you function at a higher level than a lot of others that I know. Based on the posts I have read of yours I believe that you are drowning in a sea of loneliness. You put up a brave front though.
 
T

TheIndianGirl

Guest
#13
#13
My advice is to focus on your job/career first. If the job you have currently is part-time or something you don't like, apply for a better job. Get that sorted first, and then also purchase a car. I think once you have these two things sorted, you will be in a better position to date and the woman will be able to think about long-term plans with you.
 
P

Prycejosh1987

Well-known member
#15
Jul 19, 2020
1,016
189
63
#15
Take it one step at a time, your human arent you. I would go out with a autistic girl if i was physically attracted to her. What about mentally ill people, or people with dwarfism, they can get partners. Anything is possible for him who believes.
 
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