Honest question....why don't churches teach the best way to avoid fornication is to get married?

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JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
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#1
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion 1 Corinthians 7:9 Paul taught that.


His disciples said to Him, “If this is the case between a man and his wife, it is better not to marry.” “Not everyone can accept this word,” He replied, “but only those to whom it has been given. Matthew 19:11 - 12 Jesus said so.

Why does the church find it so difficult to accept this? Why don't they talk about how to choose a spouse?
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
25,472
13,785
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#2
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion 1 Corinthians 7:9 Paul taught that.


His disciples said to Him, “If this is the case between a man and his wife, it is better not to marry.” “Not everyone can accept this word,” He replied, “but only those to whom it has been given. Matthew 19:11 - 12 Jesus said so.

Why does the church find it so difficult to accept this? Why don't they talk about how to choose a spouse?
While Scripture does teach that it is better to marry than burn with passion, it also teaches not to be unevenly yoked, and to guard your heart above all else. I would sooner see people not get married than do so and go through the c**p of divorce, which unfortunately is the likely result of a poor choice of spouse.
 
L

Locoponydirtman

Guest
#4
Again?
Many churches do. Mine does.
 

Fundaamental

Well-known member
Mar 17, 2023
3,289
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#5
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion 1 Corinthians 7:9 Paul taught that.


His disciples said to Him, “If this is the case between a man and his wife, it is better not to marry.” “Not everyone can accept this word,” He replied, “but only those to whom it has been given. Matthew 19:11 - 12 Jesus said so.

Why does the church find it so difficult to accept this? Why don't they talk about how to choose a spouse?
It's common sense to treat a person with respect theese days.

How a persons chooses to live is there choice, every good loving parent who honours marriage will tell there children, as a marriage is also on the bases to serve one another like the lord serves us.
To honour and obey.

The children who don't have that luxury will also know from friends they have.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
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#6
It's common sense to treat a person with respect theese days.

How a persons chooses to live is there choice, every good loving parent who honours marriage will tell there children, as a marriage is also on the bases to serve one another like the lord serves us.
To honour and obey.

The children who don't have that luxury will also know from friends they have.
Jesus and Paul were very clear, to stop fornication, get married. The reason for marriage is to have sex.
 

Edify

Well-known member
Jan 27, 2021
1,559
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#7
Jesus and Paul were very clear, to stop fornication, get married. The reason for marriage is to have sex.
Jus' saying, all I seem to hear from you is marriage & sex. Are you a biblical one trick pony? Is this all you want to learn about?
 

ChristsChild

Active member
Apr 28, 2023
213
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#8
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion 1 Corinthians 7:9 Paul taught that.


His disciples said to Him, “If this is the case between a man and his wife, it is better not to marry.” “Not everyone can accept this word,” He replied, “but only those to whom it has been given. Matthew 19:11 - 12 Jesus said so.

Why does the church find it so difficult to accept this? Why don't they talk about how to choose a spouse?
Maybe because getting married just to have an outlet for sexual energy is a horrible thing to do? Given the importance and lifelong covenant Christianity defines as marriage.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
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#10
and you don't think every young adult knows that ?.
The church is not encouraging marriage to deal with the issue. All I've heard is telling the young people to just ignore those desires, pray, think of Jesus, make yourself pure and holy.....none of these work. They are not practical for people in their late teens to twenties, when hormones are raging. The time to bond with the opposite sex is during these years. When you reach your 30's those desires are far less. At the time of Jesus, couples were married before they were 20. It had nothing to do with them not living longer. Jesus and Paul knew it was the physical desires. I wish I had done this in my 20's.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
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Calif
#11
Maybe because getting married just to have an outlet for sexual energy is a horrible thing to do? Given the importance and lifelong covenant Christianity defines as marriage.
Paul and Jesus didn't seem to think so. Their number one reason for marriage was to control the sexual desires. Will it work for everyone? Of course not, but it will lessen fornication. You also have to decide who to marry. GOD is not going to do that for you. You have to make a wise decision.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
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Calif
#12
Jus' saying, all I seem to hear from you is marriage & sex. Are you a biblical one trick pony? Is this all you want to learn about?
I've mentioned before about helping the poor and needy. If you want treasures in heaven, help those in need.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
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#13
A healthy sex life will keep a marriage going even in bad times and disagreements. It was meant too, GOD's design.
 

CS1

Well-known member
May 23, 2012
13,058
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#14
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion 1 Corinthians 7:9 Paul taught that.


His disciples said to Him, “If this is the case between a man and his wife, it is better not to marry.” “Not everyone can accept this word,” He replied, “but only those to whom it has been given. Matthew 19:11 - 12 Jesus said so.

Why does the church find it so difficult to accept this? Why don't they talk about how to choose a spouse?
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion 1 Corinthians 7:9 Paul taught that.


His disciples said to Him, “If this is the case between a man and his wife, it is better not to marry.” “Not everyone can accept this word,” He replied, “but only those to whom it has been given. Matthew 19:11 - 12 Jesus said so.

Why does the church find it so difficult to accept this? Why don't they talk about how to choose a spouse?

The issue is not having the desire for sexual relations with a person of the opposite sex; it is having a heart that is a fornicator. Or perversion, which will not go away just because one is married.

We teach our Youth there is plenty of time for sexual relations in a marriage when you get married. Young men and women need to put that drive into the work of God and show self-control and don't fall for the false narrative of sex created by TV and the porn industry. Paul, when he says in 1cor 7:1-9


1. Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”

2 But since sexual immorality is occurring,

Paul is saying here because there is a current problem with sexual immorality as I am writing to you

"Now for the matters you wrote about:"



"each man should have sexual relations with his own wife;
and each woman with her own husband."


This is for people who are already Married.




3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.

4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.


6 I say this as a concession, not as a command.

7 I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

This is a godly council Paul is Providing and commanding to those who are Married, as Verse 10 states.


Paul goes on to say

34. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.

Young people do the work of the Lord and have self-control. Married people serve their husband or wife. Leave the married men and women alone.
 
L

Locoponydirtman

Guest
#15
You go over this every couple of months amd its always the same.
I dont know what your problem is that you neber got married and it stuck in your craw, but blaming it on churches where literally everyone else gets married is absurd. The evidence is that church folks get married, by the vast majority. It is your personal failure amd when you finally own it you will be free of it.
 

Cameron143

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2022
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#16
A healthy sex life will keep a marriage going even in bad times and disagreements. It was meant too, GOD's design.
Clearly you haven't been married. The fights are about sex. The man doesn't think there is enough and isn't smart enough to know that an intimate encounter for a woman started the night before when her husband massaged her sore feet that hurt from her chasing after kids all day.
Also,while marriage is to a degree to fill the earth, it primarily exists to glorify God. And if you believe an unhappy woman is going to be receptive to your advances let me help you out...keep cold compresses handy and a pillow and blanket in the closest closet to the couch.
 

Fundaamental

Well-known member
Mar 17, 2023
3,289
421
83
#17
The church is not encouraging marriage to deal with the issue. All I've heard is telling the young people to just ignore those desires, pray, think of Jesus, make yourself pure and holy.....none of these work. They are not practical for people in their late teens to twenties, when hormones are raging. The time to bond with the opposite sex is during these years. When you reach your 30's those desires are far less. At the time of Jesus, couples were married before they were 20. It had nothing to do with them not living longer. Jesus and Paul knew it was the physical desires. I wish I had done this in my 20's.
I don't think you can hold the church leaders to account for the hormones of a young adults who falls head over heels in love.
You don't think most parents don't teach there young adults the birds and the bees on safe sex or getting pregnant. And if they do get pregnant they should get married.
you don't think parents tell there children it's important to find the right partner.
you don't think none of this information has come from the church
Can a parent or a church control how a young adult behaves after a few drinks on a night out.

To young adults there dream is to find a partner.
 

Fundaamental

Well-known member
Mar 17, 2023
3,289
421
83
#18
The issue is not having the desire for sexual relations with a person of the opposite sex; it is having a heart that is a fornicator. Or perversion, which will not go away just because one is married.

We teach our Youth there is plenty of time for sexual relations in a marriage when you get married. Young men and women need to put that drive into the work of God and show self-control and don't fall for the false narrative of sex created by TV and the porn industry. Paul, when he says in 1cor 7:1-9


1. Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”

2 But since sexual immorality is occurring,

Paul is saying here because there is a current problem with sexual immorality as I am writing to you

"Now for the matters you wrote about:"



"each man should have sexual relations with his own wife;
and each woman with her own husband."


This is for people who are already Married.




3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.

4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.


6 I say this as a concession, not as a command.

7 I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

This is a godly council Paul is Providing and commanding to those who are Married, as Verse 10 states.


Paul goes on to say

34. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.

Young people do the work of the Lord and have self-control. Married people serve their husband or wife. Leave the married men and women alone.
great post 😊 good ministering too 👍
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
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Calif
#19
I don't think you can hold the church leaders to account for the hormones of a young adults who falls head over heels in love.
You don't think most parents don't teach there young adults the birds and the bees on safe sex or getting pregnant. And if they do get pregnant they should get married.
you don't think parents tell there children it's important to find the right partner.
you don't think none of this information has come from the church
Can a parent or a church control how a young adult behaves after a few drinks on a night out.

To young adults there dream is to find a partner.
Too many times I've seen churches refusing to deal with the issues or telling young people just thinking of sex is a sin. The message should have been, if you want to have sex get married. Understand the trade offs. If you get married, there will be troubles, if you don't there's a good chance you will fall into fornication.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
#20
Clearly you haven't been married. The fights are about sex. The man doesn't think there is enough and isn't smart enough to know that an intimate encounter for a woman started the night before when her husband massaged her sore feet that hurt from her chasing after kids all day.
Also,while marriage is to a degree to fill the earth, it primarily exists to glorify God. And if you believe an unhappy woman is going to be receptive to your advances let me help you out...keep cold compresses handy and a pillow and blanket in the closest closet to the couch.
"Also,while marriage is to a degree to fill the earth, it primarily exists to glorify God "....Jesus and Paul never said that. They were both very clear marriage is to control the desires.