Honest question....why don't churches teach the best way to avoid fornication is to get married?

[pottersclay]

Paul was speaking to those that did not have a sex drive it was better for them to not marry and stay true to the Lord.
But for those who found it difficult to control it was better to marry than to burn.
Now remember lustly thoughts even not acting out is considered sin.

Now marriage back in the day was not like the present. It was usually arranged. Divorce was frowned upon but could be obtained. A female even suspected of loosing her virginity was a disgrace and often shunned.
A young man being a horn dog was not encouraged or looked upon as a hero like today.
Very different culture back then. To be considered unpure was a very bad reputation for both. Sometimes deadly.

First of all i think that the sex talk should start with the parents. I beleive for some churches its a uncomfortable topic to discuss especially in front of a congregation.
Sex between a husband and wife is by far the most wonderful pleasurable experience just read song of solomon.
Go and enjoy says the Lord.
Our young youth today sadly get more street talk than guidance from parents...or parent.
With the parades from the rainbow connection and their perversions of it publicly displayed and defending the right to choose whom ever the sex talk is almost a mute point. But parents should still make it happen.

Train up a child on the way they should should go..

 

[OLDMANBORNAGAIN]

What a topic, and what a discussion!

 

[Magenta]

Paul also wrote;
For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.

I think Paul was relating to being an itinerant preacher, it being a job that makes marriage hard. Imagine dragging a spouse around from city to city, not to mention children. Tough to give 100% spiritually when your embroiled with obligations of the flesh. But not everyone can bring their fleshly desires under subjection to their spirit like Jesus & Paul did, in which case it is better to find a spouse.

Welcome back!

 

[MsMediator]

People should not rush into marriage to satisfy lust. One of the greatest gifts a parent can give a child is to marry wisely. Even if one is not marrying for procreation, taking time to choose a mate is wise because marriage is a lot more than just sex.

 

[MsMediator]

Catholics consider marriage a "vocation" which is what it is really. Marriage is a calling from God, it shouldn't be simplified just to meet lust needs.

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

I used to have a children's ministry at church. Now young adults.
But I taught my own children not to date until they were ready to get married. I also advised them not to have any form of intimacy until after marriage. I told my sons that if the first time they held their wives hand was at the altar when her father placed her hand in theirs and if their first kiss was after they said "I do" they will have given their wives a gift of all their intimacy. It will be a gift that she will treasure for a lifetime and a gift that she alone receives. She will always know that you were loving her long before you ever met.

My nephew is 18, that was the age set for the two boys to be allowed to date. So he has his first gf and she wants to go to college, he wants to go into the music industry. Her school is over an hour away. Neither of them can afford a chicken nor a child. The time between dating and marriage is getting longer and longer making it harder to stay pure. I really wish he hadn't met a girl yet, he has his own big decisions to make right now. He's not mine so all I can do is let him know I'm here if he needs someone to talk to.

 

[Cameron143]

My nephew is 18, that was the age set for the two boys to be allowed to date. So he has his first gf and she wants to go to college, he wants to go into the music industry. Her school is over an hour away. Neither of them can afford a chicken nor a child. The time between dating and marriage is getting longer and longer making it harder to stay pure. I really wish he hadn't met a girl yet, he has his own big decisions to make right now. He's not mine so all I can do is let him know I'm here if he needs someone to talk to.

There's not a lot of counseling or teaching about relationships these days. Parents have handed so much over to schools. And biblical training is nearly nonexistent in most homes. So kids are in a tough position these days.

 

[Flannery]

I used to have a children's ministry at church. Now young adults.
But I taught my own children not to date until they were ready to get married. I also advised them not to have any form of intimacy until after marriage. I told my sons that if the first time they held their wives hand was at the altar when her father placed her hand in theirs and if their first kiss was after they said "I do" they will have given their wives a gift of all their intimacy. It will be a gift that she will treasure for a lifetime and a gift that she alone receives. She will always know that you were loving her long before you ever met.

That's funny, I used to work at the Seattle Times, it comes out on each date of the year. No one at the Seattle Times dates, because it isn't a palm tree, but the Seattle Times does date each event it reports on.

 

[JohnB]

I used to have a children's ministry at church. Now young adults.
But I taught my own children not to date until they were ready to get married. I also advised them not to have any form of intimacy until after marriage. I told my sons that if the first time they held their wives hand was at the altar when her father placed her hand in theirs and if their first kiss was after they said "I do" they will have given their wives a gift of all their intimacy. It will be a gift that she will treasure for a lifetime and a gift that she alone receives. She will always know that you were loving her long before you ever met.

Everyone has different reactions to physical contact. I would never date any woman who told me we don't kiss until after marriage. Some people just don't have any passion. Some people don't like to be hugged. What do you do if you marry someone like that? And you don't find out until after you're married?

 

[JohnB]

Another thing to look at is the family. What if they have an unstable uncle who loves guns, has a short temper and gets drunk at family gathering. If you marry into that family the crazy uncle becomes part of your family.

 

[ResidentAlien]

Honest question....why don't churches teach the best way to avoid fornication is to get married?

Here we go again.

Honest question: If the best way to avoid fornication is to marry, why have you never married? Are you blaming the "churches" for not motivating you enough to marry? Are you blaming God again for thwarting all you efforts? If it's God's will that you marry, why would He go out of his way to prevent you from marrying?

 

[ResidentAlien]

Jesus and Paul were very clear, to stop fornication, get married. The reason for marriage is to have sex.

One of the reasons for marriage is to have sex, yes. But ultimately it should help people stop craving sex; that's the real purpose of marriage. If you read 1 Corinthians 7, it's clear Paul is instructing the Corinthians to not care for the things of this world but for the Lord.

"But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none," 1 Corinthians 7:29

 

[Fundaamental]

Everyone has different reactions to physical contact. I would never date any woman who told me we don't kiss until after marriage. Some people just don't have any passion. Some people don't like to be hugged. What do you do if you marry someone like that? And you don't find out until after you're married?

The majority of people adults fall in love. They also have the intension of getting married.
Some wait until there honeymoon
Other don't it's really that simple.

Thats the romance of people who meet and become one is to get married.
The people who you are talking about is a minority.
they all want to get married at some point, but some people want to keep there relationship a secret at first for whatever reasons others want to save enough money for a special wedding.

The love they have for each other was the same as Adam and Eve when that type of relationship was common law husband and wife.

The reason you get married is to have your relationship blessed by God and to honour the statutes of a relation by declaring an oath to God that you will.
sex does not come into it unless it is by mutual consent a wifes body belongs to the husband, as a husband's body belongs to his wife but they are one.

This is what makes the honeymoon special.
The bible encourages an intimate relationship this way, which does encourage people to think God would be ok if I don't wait until my wedding night.

It really is that simple.
There's. No way to stop it even if you preach purity until your blue in the face.

 

[Fundaamental]

I'm sorry but I think it's that time again.

 

[2ndTimeIsTheCharm]

But not near the only reason.

So what is wrong with the purity movement? I know that Josh Harris went off the deep end away from Christ but weren't many of the principles he used to promote actually pretty sound?

Woah, what happened with Josh Harris? Isn't he the one who wrote "I Kissed Dating Goodbye"? 🤯

....Okay, I found an article: Kissing Marriage Goodbye: Joshua Harris Announces Divorce (published July 19, 2019)

In another article, I found out that not only did he divorce his wife, Shannon, but he's also divorced God! 💔

I think Christians should really wait on the Lord about everything, but especially marriage because it is such a full commitment. This is why to this day I'm not married. I don't want to marry just because everyone else is (for status), or out of loneliness (social), or for sex (physical need).

When I was young, I used to run ahead of God in matters of love and romance, but God never blessed my efforts. I learned that it's best to stay within God's borders - His plans for my life, even if it means I may never get married. And you know what? When I put my life in God's hands, it really was so liberating! I found that I was actually happy even though I don't have the "married" status. Which is was so surprising to me!

Anyway, in terms of sex, the solution is still the same - hand your life over to God. If you live by the Holy Spirit just like what the Bible says, He really will help you resist falling into temptation. It starts in the mind, and that's where you really should put that fire out at the very earliest. For example, if you're attracting to someone and sexy thoughts start playing in your mind, turn to God right away in prayer for His help! If you allow the sexy thoughts to linger and not hand those thoughts over to God, you're going to get weaker and weaker until you end up sinning. So yeah, defeat the temptation at the earliest point and DON'T GIVE UP RESISTING AGAINST IT!

Also, it's really scary that your spouse may end up not being faithful to God. That always terrifies me and now I'm seeing that in Josh and Shannon's relationship. I also saw it in my parents' relationship. One of the reasons why my Mom was attracted to my Pop was because he used to teach a Sunday school class and his father was an influential Christian (my grandfather established a lot of Campus Crusade for Christ chapters in universities and did a lot of evangelical work - he also prayed for me to get saved! ). Anyway, turns out my father was kind of forced into doing Christian activities because of his father - it was never because of a real belief and personal walk with our Lord Jesus. But my Mom didn't see that before they got married.

So for all who are single, just remain trusting and abiding in the Lord. Let Him make you happy instead of waiting for someone else to make you happy. And if it's God's will, then marriage will happen - but if not, it's not the end of the world!

❧

 

[HeIsHere]

Having sex is not just about having children. From the beginning it's about the couple becoming one, nothing about having children.

That is modern day culture speaking, one cannot be divorced from the other. Two becoming one is having children, the child shares the DNA of both parents.

 

[HeIsHere]

I guarantee you this, their friends at school or college, their teachers are NOT embarrassed or awkward in talking about it. And the church better get over it and start talking about these issues before they get brainwashed in the other direction.





The Bible teaches about sexual relations. Your youth are hearing it from movies, tv, mags, teachers, friends. You don't want the church to speak about it??! Wow. No wonder so many youth are mixed up about their gender.

Not connected to gender dysphoria.

 

[Cameron143]

Everyone has different reactions to physical contact. I would never date any woman who told me we don't kiss until after marriage. Some people just don't have any passion. Some people don't like to be hugged. What do you do if you marry someone like that? And you don't find out until after you're married?

I would pray. Last I heard all things are possible with God.
Women who don't like touch have often been abused. And dating is for finding things out. So date with purpose.
You seem to want to hedge your bets rather than walk by faith.
Also, how you do things is your business. I shared what I taught my kids.

 

[HopeinHim98]

So you put the fear into dating? Having your heartbroken is part of the growing process in life.

Woah, what happened with Josh Harris? Isn't he the one who wrote "I Kissed Dating Goodbye"? 🤯

....Okay, I found an article: Kissing Marriage Goodbye: Joshua Harris Announces Divorce (published July 19, 2019)

In another article, I found out that not only did he divorce his wife, Shannon, but he's also divorced God! 💔

I think Christians should really wait on the Lord about everything, but especially marriage because it is such a full commitment. This is why to this day I'm not married. I don't want to marry just because everyone else is (for status), or out of loneliness (social), or for sex (physical need).

When I was young, I used to run ahead of God in matters of love and romance, but God never blessed my efforts. I learned that it's best to stay within God's borders - His plans for my life, even if it means I may never get married. And you know what? When I put my life in God's hands, it really was so liberating! I found that I was actually happy even though I don't have the "married" status. Which is was so surprising to me!

Anyway, in terms of sex, the solution is still the same - hand your life over to God. If you live by the Holy Spirit just like what the Bible says, He really will help you resist falling into temptation. It starts in the mind, and that's where you really should put that fire out at the very earliest. For example, if you're attracting to someone and sexy thoughts start playing in your mind, turn to God right away in prayer for His help! If you allow the sexy thoughts to linger and not hand those thoughts over to God, you're going to get weaker and weaker until you end up sinning. So yeah, defeat the temptation at the earliest point and DON'T GIVE UP RESISTING AGAINST IT!

Also, it's really scary that your spouse may end up not being faithful to God. That always terrifies me and now I'm seeing that in Josh and Shannon's relationship. I also saw it in my parents' relationship. One of the reasons why my Mom was attracted to my Pop was because he used to teach a Sunday school class and his father was an influential Christian (my grandfather established a lot of Campus Crusade for Christ chapters in universities and did a lot of evangelical work - he also prayed for me to get saved! ). Anyway, turns out my father was kind of forced into doing Christian activities because of his father - it was never because of a real belief and personal walk with our Lord Jesus. But my Mom didn't see that before they got married.

So for all who are single, just remain trusting and abiding in the Lord. Let Him make you happy instead of waiting for someone else to make you happy. And if it's God's will, then marriage will happen - but if not, it's not the end of the world!

❧

Amen I love that! I know what you mean about realizing you can be happy without being married. I've had that realization too and it is indeed liberating.

 

[HopeinHim98]

Woah, what happened with Josh Harris? Isn't he the one who wrote "I Kissed Dating Goodbye"? 🤯

....Okay, I found an article: Kissing Marriage Goodbye: Joshua Harris Announces Divorce (published July 19, 2019)

In another article, I found out that not only did he divorce his wife, Shannon, but he's also divorced God! 💔

I think Christians should really wait on the Lord about everything, but especially marriage because it is such a full commitment. This is why to this day I'm not married. I don't want to marry just because everyone else is (for status), or out of loneliness (social), or for sex (physical need).

When I was young, I used to run ahead of God in matters of love and romance, but God never blessed my efforts. I learned that it's best to stay within God's borders - His plans for my life, even if it means I may never get married. And you know what? When I put my life in God's hands, it really was so liberating! I found that I was actually happy even though I don't have the "married" status. Which is was so surprising to me!

Anyway, in terms of sex, the solution is still the same - hand your life over to God. If you live by the Holy Spirit just like what the Bible says, He really will help you resist falling into temptation. It starts in the mind, and that's where you really should put that fire out at the very earliest. For example, if you're attracting to someone and sexy thoughts start playing in your mind, turn to God right away in prayer for His help! If you allow the sexy thoughts to linger and not hand those thoughts over to God, you're going to get weaker and weaker until you end up sinning. So yeah, defeat the temptation at the earliest point and DON'T GIVE UP RESISTING AGAINST IT!

Also, it's really scary that your spouse may end up not being faithful to God. That always terrifies me and now I'm seeing that in Josh and Shannon's relationship. I also saw it in my parents' relationship. One of the reasons why my Mom was attracted to my Pop was because he used to teach a Sunday school class and his father was an influential Christian (my grandfather established a lot of Campus Crusade for Christ chapters in universities and did a lot of evangelical work - he also prayed for me to get saved! ). Anyway, turns out my father was kind of forced into doing Christian activities because of his father - it was never because of a real belief and personal walk with our Lord Jesus. But my Mom didn't see that before they got married.

So for all who are single, just remain trusting and abiding in the Lord. Let Him make you happy instead of waiting for someone else to make you happy. And if it's God's will, then marriage will happen - but if not, it's not the end of the world!

❧

I'm sorry to hear that about your dad. That would be really hard to see that happen.