Hey ya'll!
Most of you probably know me from the live chat rooms and often the question arises, "What does your screen name mean?". Yes there is a verse in Psalms about "the wicked shall flee" but when I created this screen name I didn't know that untill someone had pointed it out. It means alot more to me than a screen name. My whole life story is behind that name and I'm sure some of you can relate to my story.
I don't want to go into too much detail about my life because its almost 1 am and when I tell my story I feel like I'm complaining. Long story short I have had to deal with a lot of uncontrollable events so far in my life. From your average high school drama and getting picked on to loosing a parent of cancer, dealing with achohal abuse in my family and anxioty.
I'm not looking for pity, don't get me wrong it feels good once in awhile to be hugged and told everythings okay, and I'm not saying I'm a strong person from all of this and that I can see what God's plan for me is. In fact I have no idea what God wants me to do, and I'm scared as can be. This won't be one of those testimonys that will end with a statement about how my life is now and how I have a few things to sort out but all in all I just put it in God's hands.Infact it feels like the opposite. I'm not saying that I'm not a christian, I've been going to church since before I can remember, I just find it hard sometimes to trust God. When I look at all the things that have happened in the past I think "God, I'm angry at you because you know I'm not a strong person and if your goal is to test me then you have to help me out in the will-power department because clearly I'm lacking." Basically what my point is, is that I'm confused with God. Yes fathers love their sons and daughters and sometimes its tough love, you may not get what you want. Don't you think though, that parents will reach down once in awhile after hearing the crying and say "It's okay, I know I had to be a little mean but it's for your own good." and then to make it up take the kid out to ice cream so they can bond again and be happy? I'm not trying to insult God in anyway. I've heard many times that his plan is the best plan. I'm just at a point in my life where I have to learn to trust, as hard as it is for me.
Thank-you to everyone who took time out of their day to read my life story so far. I also want to add that my spelling may not be the best because I'm very tired. I want to end this testimony with a poem I've written about how I've been feeling. God bless you all!
So where is it?
I don't see it
I don't get it
The fufillment of the promise
I don't see it down here
In the middle of the fear
What hope can remain
In the depth of this pain?
I don't see it
The earth is groaning night and day
A song of human slavery
Of dark, desease and poverty
Of children in captivity
God that's the sound that comes to me
Are you still far away on high?
Still staring out of that empty sky?
Still reaching out with that longing hand?
I hear no voice and I don't understand
I know about theology
I know you gave your son for me
I know your wrapped in mystery
I get invisibility
But I still see their misery
I hear their voices haunting me
Saying "who will come and set us free?"
who will come and set us free?
who will come and set us free?
Most of you probably know me from the live chat rooms and often the question arises, "What does your screen name mean?". Yes there is a verse in Psalms about "the wicked shall flee" but when I created this screen name I didn't know that untill someone had pointed it out. It means alot more to me than a screen name. My whole life story is behind that name and I'm sure some of you can relate to my story.
I don't want to go into too much detail about my life because its almost 1 am and when I tell my story I feel like I'm complaining. Long story short I have had to deal with a lot of uncontrollable events so far in my life. From your average high school drama and getting picked on to loosing a parent of cancer, dealing with achohal abuse in my family and anxioty.
I'm not looking for pity, don't get me wrong it feels good once in awhile to be hugged and told everythings okay, and I'm not saying I'm a strong person from all of this and that I can see what God's plan for me is. In fact I have no idea what God wants me to do, and I'm scared as can be. This won't be one of those testimonys that will end with a statement about how my life is now and how I have a few things to sort out but all in all I just put it in God's hands.Infact it feels like the opposite. I'm not saying that I'm not a christian, I've been going to church since before I can remember, I just find it hard sometimes to trust God. When I look at all the things that have happened in the past I think "God, I'm angry at you because you know I'm not a strong person and if your goal is to test me then you have to help me out in the will-power department because clearly I'm lacking." Basically what my point is, is that I'm confused with God. Yes fathers love their sons and daughters and sometimes its tough love, you may not get what you want. Don't you think though, that parents will reach down once in awhile after hearing the crying and say "It's okay, I know I had to be a little mean but it's for your own good." and then to make it up take the kid out to ice cream so they can bond again and be happy? I'm not trying to insult God in anyway. I've heard many times that his plan is the best plan. I'm just at a point in my life where I have to learn to trust, as hard as it is for me.
Thank-you to everyone who took time out of their day to read my life story so far. I also want to add that my spelling may not be the best because I'm very tired. I want to end this testimony with a poem I've written about how I've been feeling. God bless you all!
So where is it?
I don't see it
I don't get it
The fufillment of the promise
I don't see it down here
In the middle of the fear
What hope can remain
In the depth of this pain?
I don't see it
The earth is groaning night and day
A song of human slavery
Of dark, desease and poverty
Of children in captivity
God that's the sound that comes to me
Are you still far away on high?
Still staring out of that empty sky?
Still reaching out with that longing hand?
I hear no voice and I don't understand
I know about theology
I know you gave your son for me
I know your wrapped in mystery
I get invisibility
But I still see their misery
I hear their voices haunting me
Saying "who will come and set us free?"
who will come and set us free?
who will come and set us free?