How best can one ward off sexual advacement from colleagues at work place?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
maxima

maxima

Junior Member
#1
Dec 14, 2012
58
32
18
#1
How can one overcome sexual temptation from female and male colleagues who are constantly making serious advancement at work place? It has been somewhat a challenge most people are facing. I face the same at work place. I'm quite sure a few amongst us face the same at their various workplacd. So ,how do we overcome this?
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#2
Aug 13, 2014
24,907
8,162
113
#2
I recommend a taser.
 
cwizzle07

cwizzle07

Active member
#3
Jan 18, 2019
184
165
43
41
#3
I just had this recently happen to me. A married coworker of mine contacted me after the work Christmas party to profess his lust. Second time he has done this. I probably didn't handle it the best. I yelled at him and now I stay away from him.
 
mailmandan

mailmandan

Senior Member
#4
Apr 7, 2014
25,043
13,049
113
58
#4
maxima said:
How can one overcome sexual temptation from female and male colleagues who are constantly making serious advancement at work place? It has been somewhat a challenge most people are facing. I face the same at work place. I'm quite sure a few amongst us face the same at their various workplacd. So ,how do we overcome this?
Click to expand...
Do you work at the Post Office? :unsure:
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#5
Mar 26, 2014
4,328
2,361
113
#5
It isn't something I have much experience of (maybe because I usually don't realize it when someone is trying to put the moves on me) but I find being extremely rude and blunt can usually get rid of most unwanted people. If a married person were to try coming on to me, I'd make it very clear that I'm not stupid enough to get involved with someone who is scummy and cowardly enough to try to break their most sacred vows; only an idiot would trust such a person. And though it's never happened, if a single guy were to show serious genuine interest (like beyond just a casual cup of coffee / tea or general office chitchat), I'd probably ask him to give me one reason why he'd be a good decision and one reason why he thinks I'd be a good decision for him.

Granted the flip side of this is that I'm probably going to end up single for life because most people tend to have this crazy idea that in such important life changing decisions they should listen to their hearts instead of their heads and I don't agree with that position. But I also seem to have a natural ability to stop unwanted advances before they start.
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
#6
Sep 17, 2018
3,671
2,887
113
#6
Not really many options. Reporting them to a supervisor could work, though it may be tough to prove and have action taken it at least puts it in their minds that this person may be putting the company at risk for a lawsuit. Sexual harassment is a pretty major issue anymore. I've had some jobs teach more about sexual harassment than training for the job.

And be really clear and decisive in your rejection. Hesitation may be viewed as consideration and encourage the behavior. So don't be shy or worry about being 'rude', just let them know exactly where you stand.

I'm not sure if there's much else to be done. I've never experienced it first hand, but knew someone who dealt with it somewhat regularly at work. She was always firm and upfront and most got the message, but a few kept coming back until she blew up on them and then wouldn't go anywhere near her.
 
p_rehbein

p_rehbein

Senior Member
#8
Sep 4, 2013
30,195
6,536
113
#8
Try not taking a shower or brushing your teeth. If that don't work, try pepper spray......

5590.gif
 
mailmandan

mailmandan

Senior Member
#9
Apr 7, 2014
25,043
13,049
113
58
#9
Demi777 said:
For real though. Once a elderly lady showed my bf her varicose veins on her legs and was all over him...ladies go crazy there for some reason
Click to expand...
LOL! Some of those elderly ladies are aggressive and have no shame! I used to deliver mail to an old folks home and there were elderly women there who would say things to me sometimes that would make a sailor blush! :oops:
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#10
Oct 13, 2014
6,877
1,949
113
Germany
#10
mailmandan said:
LOL! Some of those elderly ladies are aggressive and have no shame! I used to deliver mail to an old folks home and there were elderly women there who would say things to me sometimes that would make a sailor blush! :oops:
Click to expand...
People shall never say my generation is bad LOL
 
R

RodB65

Guest
#11
#11
It's been my experience that it helps to be the "really weird guy who doesn't say anything" and when he does say something, "it's really weird" ... :D
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#12
Aug 13, 2014
24,907
8,162
113
#12
cinder said:
It isn't something I have much experience of (maybe because I usually don't realize it when someone is trying to put the moves on me) but I find being extremely rude and blunt can usually get rid of most unwanted people. If a married person were to try coming on to me, I'd make it very clear that I'm not stupid enough to get involved with someone who is scummy and cowardly enough to try to break their most sacred vows; only an idiot would trust such a person. And though it's never happened, if a single guy were to show serious genuine interest (like beyond just a casual cup of coffee / tea or general office chitchat), I'd probably ask him to give me one reason why he'd be a good decision and one reason why he thinks I'd be a good decision for him.

Granted the flip side of this is that I'm probably going to end up single for life because most people tend to have this crazy idea that in such important life changing decisions they should listen to their hearts instead of their heads and I don't agree with that position. But I also seem to have a natural ability to stop unwanted advances before they start.
Click to expand...
Wait, what? To this day no guy has ever asked you out on a date? Or have you gone on dates, but never gotten far enough in the relationship to get to the "one reason" question yet?

(Just being nosy, you don't have to answer.)
 
Alessia

Alessia

New member
#13
Dec 26, 2018
17
15
3
45
Romania
#13
By addressing the advances in a straightforward and polite manner. In other words, let the person understand that you are aware of their advances but that you are not interested. Tell them directly if necessary.
 
Marcelo

Marcelo

Senior Member
#14
Feb 4, 2016
2,359
859
113
73
#14
maxima said:
How can one overcome sexual temptation from female and male colleagues who are constantly making serious advancement at work place? It has been somewhat a challenge most people are facing. I face the same at work place. I'm quite sure a few amongst us face the same at their various workplacd. So ,how do we overcome this?
Click to expand...
Christians should not hate any thing, but there is something that I can't keep myself from hating: sexual advancement in the workplace.

An ex co-worker of mine told me a story that is a bit different from the topic above, but shows how mean some employers can be: My ex co-worker was unemployed and desperately needed a job. His wife was friends with the secretary of the president of a large airline company in Brazil and this lady asked the big boss if he could give the unemployed man some attention. The big boss said: "Tell her (not her husband) to come here".

My ex co-worker's wife went there and the company president told her: "Let's schedule a dinner so that we have plenty of time to talk about job opportunities for your husband". The wife just said: "No, thanks !".

At home the wife just said the talk was unsuccessful. Two years later, when her husband was already employed, she told him the truth. Her husband said: "I'm gonna kill him, why didn't you tell me that before?". She answered: "Because, without any doubt, you would have ended up in jail ".
 
N

NoNameMcgee

Guest
#15
#15
maxima said:
How can one overcome sexual temptation from female and male colleagues who are constantly making serious advancement at work place? It has been somewhat a challenge most people are facing. I face the same at work place. I'm quite sure a few amongst us face the same at their various workplacd. So ,how do we overcome this?
Click to expand...

I don't make eye contact to women if I don't have to.... I don't stare or wave and smile to women.... I give greetings whole heartedly but only to the same sex or when I have recieved one already by a woman...

I go there to work to make a living.... if I get a chance to talk
I try to keep it professional or about God

and if there is any type of "sexual advancement" I make it known I am not looking and have someone already

(if you don't have someone already mention your faith and the fact you're waiting until marriage)

.....just being honest
and
not making your own advances will get rid of most opportunity to mess up

(at least for me.... but honestly it is pretty rare anyone tries beyond small talk....)

but the temptation itself you mentioned

I pray to be delivered from when it comes.... (even if I don't have time to go somewhere I just do it in my head)
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#16
Mar 13, 2014
41,311
16,300
113
69
Tennessee
#16
cinder said:
It isn't something I have much experience of (maybe because I usually don't realize it when someone is trying to put the moves on me) but I find being extremely rude and blunt can usually get rid of most unwanted people. If a married person were to try coming on to me, I'd make it very clear that I'm not stupid enough to get involved with someone who is scummy and cowardly enough to try to break their most sacred vows; only an idiot would trust such a person. And though it's never happened, if a single guy were to show serious genuine interest (like beyond just a casual cup of coffee / tea or general office chitchat), I'd probably ask him to give me one reason why he'd be a good decision and one reason why he thinks I'd be a good decision for him.

Granted the flip side of this is that I'm probably going to end up single for life because most people tend to have this crazy idea that in such important life changing decisions they should listen to their hearts instead of their heads and I don't agree with that position. But I also seem to have a natural ability to stop unwanted advances before they start.
Click to expand...
You have the right idea, listen to both your heart and your head.
 
Nehemiah6

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
#17
Jul 18, 2017
24,420
12,905
113
#17
maxima said:
How can one overcome sexual temptation from female and male colleagues who are constantly making serious advancement at work place?
Click to expand...
I'm sure you meant *advances* rather than advancement (which would be a plus). Anyhow, the best way to handle any issue is to deal with it head on. So if someone walks up to you and asks for a date, all you have to say is "I appreciate your invitation, but I already have other commitments". This is deliberately vague, but sufficiently clear. If there is sexual harassment, that is another matter, which should be reported to the General Manager, rather than just the Supervisor. Upper management needs to deal with such issues.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#18
Mar 13, 2014
41,311
16,300
113
69
Tennessee
#18
NoNameMcgee said:
I don't make eye contact to women if I don't have to.... I don't stare or wave and smile to women.... I give greetings whole heartedly but only to the same sex or when I have recieved one already by a woman...

I go there to work to make a living.... if I get a chance to talk
I try to keep it professional or about God

and if there is any type of "sexual advancement" I make it known I am not looking and have someone already

(if you don't have someone already mention your faith and the fact you're waiting until marriage)

.....just being honest
and
not making your own advances will get rid of most opportunity to mess up

(at least for me.... but honestly it is pretty rare anyone tries beyond small talk....)

but the temptation itself you mentioned

I pray to be delivered from when it comes.... (even if I don't have time to go somewhere I just do it in my head)
Click to expand...
You certainly have a well-balanced approach in your work ethic and for that you are to be commended.
 
R

RodB65

Guest
#20
#20
NoNameMcgee said:
I don't make eye contact to women if I don't have to.... I don't stare or wave and smile to women.... I give greetings whole heartedly but only to the same sex or when I have recieved one already by a woman...

I go there to work to make a living.... if I get a chance to talk
I try to keep it professional or about God

and if there is any type of "sexual advancement" I make it known I am not looking and have someone already

(if you don't have someone already mention your faith and the fact you're waiting until marriage)

.....just being honest
and
not making your own advances will get rid of most opportunity to mess up

(at least for me.... but honestly it is pretty rare anyone tries beyond small talk....)

but the temptation itself you mentioned

I pray to be delivered from when it comes.... (even if I don't have time to go somewhere I just do it in my head)
Click to expand...
Sir, you doing a fine job!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.