How do Christian men feel about single mothers?

[JohnDB]

Kids are people too...and that creates a much more complicated situation than a single person.

Dating and single life can be usually rather "undisciplined" I guess for lack of a better term. You go wherever, whenever you want with the person you are dating.
Single moms and single dads do not have this luxury. And if that child begins to ever get the hint that he/she is being treated like an extra piece of unwanted baggage that the "outsider" must accept to carry....there's going to be trouble.

So much so that a person has to traverse a mine field of issues when dating a single parent. It's not that it can't be done...but it definitely is not an easy situation.

 

[Lanolin]

wouldnt single dads and single mothers date each other and leave their children at the school, so maybe they could go out during the school day for lunch. I dont know

or how about, the school organises a ball, and the single parents who are chaperoning their offspring also allowed to go. Or would that be awkwards?

the logistics of dating are bad enough when you dont have children at times, but Im supposing you'll figure it out
this is why people date their workmates like on Shortland Street soap opera. After a hard days work nursing and doctoring, what they do is meet up at the local bar, after already having their get to know yous in the staffroom and cafe.
children are rarely seen on the show but if they do, they usually either run intereference or set up their parents on dates.

Of course, Shortie is not real life, but I can tell you that the actors and actresses on the show are too busy filming to date anyone.

 

[NestForASparrow]

I personally would not be into dating a woman who already had kids. Much of that is I am not ready to have older kids at my age despite being old enough to have a kid ready for college. I mean I am fine having a kid at my age (probably should get serious before it becomes too late for me to biologically have a child)...I am not mature enough to be a father to a teenager with all that goes along with it.

But I know from going on dating websites, there are many attractive single mothers who are only single because guys don't want to date a woman with kids.....I have passed on many very attractive women for the sole fact I am not ready to be a father figure to an older child.

 

[Robertt]

A lady Being a single mother is not something that would stop myself bring interested . Most important is her current spiritual status

Does she believe the sme things I believe ?

However the child or children do come into it . Do I get on with the children , do they like me ?

Does the mother and mine pans for child upbringing rules etc match

Lots of discussion would need to occur

 

[Odelschwanck]

I don't want to date/marry a single Mom. But that's because of the previous relationship, not the kid.

 

[GiveThanks]

(probably should get serious before it becomes too late for me to biologically have a child)

lol I thought men didnt have bioligical clocks

 

[NestForASparrow]

lol I thought men didnt have bioligical clocks

We don't, but my body is getting old (well mid-30s) and I don't want to be an old man running around after my kids.

 

[GiveThanks]

We don't, but my body is getting old (well mid-30s) and I don't want to be an old man running around after my kids.

Ah young man, you still have lots of time. Cheer up. And you do have the option of marring someone a little younger than you. Just take care of yourself and keep fit.

 

[Lanolin]

You shouldnt be running round after kids, the kids should be running round after you...make them get some exercise!

There used to be a tv show called SuperNanny which showed harried parents how to look after their offspring. It seems they had been neglecting them in favour of watching tv....a vicious cycle

my thing would be just to get rid of the tv and get the kids to put on a show instead

 

[Robertt]

Kids were a blessing I really enjoyed , miss my little ones

strangely would love to make sone more even though I old enough to be grandad ! Lol

 

[Seeking-Christ]

It depends on the guy. I don't mind kids. And yet I don't want them. Why? Because in my current situation, I'm having a hard enough time taking care of myself! And considering the fact that I'm still living with my parents, goes to show that I'm not doing a good job of even that! So it would be dumb of me to get with a woman who already has kids. it might even be dumb of me, to get with a woman period! But sadly, the male drive is still in me, even though I don't want it to be.

 

[SabrinaMonte]

Eu não sairia com um cara com filhos e também me divorciaria, simplesmente porque sou uma ótima garota cristã e guardada, não aceito menos do que tento oferecer.

 

[JohnDB]

Eu não sairia com um cara com filhos e também me divorciaria, simplesmente porque sou uma ótima garota cristã e guardada, não aceito menos do que tento oferecer.

Well...
I can understand your thoughts perfectly...and when I was your age I agreed with them.
Life happens though. There is a lot of reasons why someone can be a single parent without it being because of divorce. Some of these single parents have adopted siblings or other family members...it's not always so clear at first look.

 

[Lynx]

I personally would not be into dating a woman who already had kids. Much of that is I am not ready to have older kids at my age despite being old enough to have a kid ready for college. I mean I am fine having a kid at my age (probably should get serious before it becomes too late for me to biologically have a child)...I am not mature enough to be a father to a teenager with all that goes along with it.

But I know from going on dating websites, there are many attractive single mothers who are only single because guys don't want to date a woman with kids.....I have passed on many very attractive women for the sole fact I am not ready to be a father figure to an older child.

On the other hand you are self-aware enough to realize that and not get in that situation. Much better than getting in the situation and then realizing you can't handle that.

Quote from a book I once read: "I prefer to approach my limitations from the cautious side. A limitation becomes a failing when it catches you by surprise."

 

[Lanolin]

huh I would not think 30 is old for a man but whatever...?!

I had one girl at school introduce me to her aunty who was younger than her

I cant figure out why this is so, would hurt my brain, but in some families things skip generations.

The Bible did recommend young widows to marry again, and that was widows under 60 as those over 60 were then entitled to church care, provided they showed they were devout believers. But any offspring were meant to look after their widowed mother.

You will find with single parents that as their children get older the child (especially the eldest) is often put in the role of looking after their parent, whether its financially or emotionally. That is a huge burden to place on a child.

 

[SimpleSheep]

Too many issues

1) Why is the father not in the picture?

2) I would prefer a biological family unless I decide to adopt

3) The women would love her children more than me

Wouldn't the mother love her children more than her husband even if he is the father? I'm assuming the father would love his kids more than his wife as well.