How Do Christians Date Without Viewing Their Potential Prospects as Sex Objects in Their Minds?

[Lanolin]

I know this response was 2 years ago, but it was solid and humorous. I wish you could give an "Informative" response to me, but I understand that option has been taken away.

In response to your main topic, I don't believe thinking about sex is adultery, anymore than thinking about eating is gluttony, or thinking about drinking is drunkenness, or thinking about fighting is murder. If one is more predisposed toward a particular sin, it probably pays to be alert to what thinks about and for how long, and in what capacity.

I believe the sin of lust carries with it a decision of the will - to entertain the prospect and desire or be prepared to accept the opportunity (outside of lawful limits). For example, I don't believe it is a sin to want a nice car or home, and to work toward obtaining such by lawful means. But to fantasize about obtaining the same unlawfully - e.g. by theft or fraud would not be beneficial, if not sinful. I think the same reasoning can be applied to lust.

That kind of makes sense, I mean if the object of your thinking is not married to someone else. Then it would be coveting?
The car, if its for sale and not belonging to someone else.
To think about eating when you are hungry, makes sense, but not if you are already full, or wanting someone else's share.
To think about drinking when you are thirsty, makes sense, but not when you are already drunk.
To think of fighting makes sense if you are in a war, or a game of boxing, or some such, but not in peaceful times and for no good reason.

 

[Lanolin]

@Charlesiii just wondering if your name is what I think it means. You are not also a King of a certain former Empire, are you?

 

[Lanolin]

Wow, royalty on CC. And I thought nobody would read my posts about the British Royal family, so if I wrote about them, it would not be gossip.
King Charles, if you are reading this, I am sorry if I gave the impression I knew everything about you, like the fact you are married to Queen Camilla, and other such things.

 

[Charlesiii]

That kind of makes sense, I mean if the object of your thinking is not married to someone else. Then it would be coveting?
The car, if its for sale and not belonging to someone else.
To think about eating when you are hungry, makes sense, but not if you are already full, or wanting someone else's share.
To think about drinking when you are thirsty, makes sense, but not when you are already drunk.
To think of fighting makes sense if you are in a war, or a game of boxing, or some such, but not in peaceful times and for no good reason.

Yes. I think if people (but men especially, I presume) never desired sex, people would never get married. But there is a difference between desiring it and being honorable about it and finding a wife and marrying her, than lusting over her (or him).

@Charlesiii just wondering if your name is what I think it means. You are not also a King of a certain former Empire, are you?

Thank you for noticing. I didn't want to be pretentious, so neglected to include my title in my username. But yes, I am quite familiar with a certain former (or is it still current?) Empire.

 

[Lanolin]

ha the informative emoji was a spanner if I recall.
You could always reply to the post above and just put the spanner in from the emojis in the header.

 

[Lanolin]

Yes. I think if people (but men especially, I presume) never desired sex, people would never get married. But there is a difference between desiring it and being honorable about it and finding a wife and marrying her, than lusting over her (or him).


Thank you for noticing. I didn't want to be pretentious, so neglected to include my title in my username. But yes, I am quite familiar with a certain former (or is it still current?) Empire.

 

[Toknow]

Lol...

Welcome to the lighter side of CC, @Toknow! I hope you enjoy perusing the lighter side of CC. Many of us regulars from Singles hang out in threads here and in Family and Miscellaneous. I do occasionally scan the BDF, mostly just to stalk/follow posters whom I admire.

As for some people going on hundreds of dates... Apparently that seems to be very easy to accomplish these days with the advent of dating apps. And I think the definition of a date varies quite a bit as well, seeing as many people meet someone long-distance and so their dates must all be conducted online. (I've known of several long-distance couples here on CC, some who married, even internationally.)

As for my age, well, Lynx has stated his age several times on the forum, and I'm older than him.

Let's just say AARP (American Association of Retired Persons) has been after me to join their fine organization for several years now, even though I'm not fully retired, and my friends who are married have, or are looking to have, grandchildren.

People often ask if I'm a college student, as I'm usually carrying a backpack. The pictures I post in my avatar have all been taken within the last 6 months. My current picture is me on any given day -- if given a choice, I'm almost always wearing a favorite cartoon or 80's pop culture t-shirt, like the Pac-Man in this current rendition. I remember when Pac-Man came out and became a cultural phenomenon.

Over the years, I've met about 25 people from CC in person, and though most have moved on, Lynx and a few other regulars here have been around me in real life (the poor souls,) and would call me out if I were trying to catfish anyone.

It's especially amusing when people both online and in real life proverbially pat me on the head and pretty much say, "There, there, little girl," when I'm often a good 10-15 years older than them! Not that age makes anyone an expert on anything, it's just that I might have a little more life experience than many expect.

I always chalk it up to being a boring nerd. I was always working and my jobs were inside, so I never saw much of the sun; I have bad reactions to alcohol so I avoid it (I've read that many Asians are missing the enzymes that break down alcohol in their systems); I never tried smoking or drugs because I was too afraid; and I've always eaten simple foods because I've never been into cooking (however, sugar is, unfortunately, the bane of my existence.)

Seoulsearch....nice name.

I'm sorry to say that I also have never smoked....and do not like alcohol....
but I haven't seen the same results.

Maybe the problem is the sun?
I always liked the sun until I got rosachea about 5 years ago.
And food...oh yeah. I do like nice food and I do like to cook.

In your avatar, you look like a 28 year old.

They say Asians and black persons age very well.
I'm an American- Italian (or is it Italian-American?),,,white of course....
so that may add to my problem.

But, really, I'm older than you are but are doing really well and happy.
I had a blast this afternoon, here on the lighter side of CC.
But I think I'm stuck over on the dark side doing all that theology stuff.
Maybe all the seriousness gets some a little ornery every now and then.

We're always looking for fun, interesting, and compassionate people to join our ragtag motley crew of CC individuals who don't fit in any particular group -- welcome aboard!!

I've been enjoying your posts and am looking forward to more.

Will be back.
I think it just CANNOT end here!!

 

[seoulsearch]

Seoulsearch....nice name.

I'm sorry to say that I also have never smoked....and do not like alcohol....
but I haven't seen the same results.

Maybe the problem is the sun?
I always liked the sun until I got rosachea about 5 years ago.
And food...oh yeah. I do like nice food and I do like to cook.

In your avatar, you look like a 28 year old.

They say Asians and black persons age very well.
I'm an American- Italian (or is it Italian-American?),,,white of course....
so that may add to my problem.

But, really, I'm older than you are but are doing really well and happy.
I had a blast this afternoon, here on the lighter side of CC.
But I think I'm stuck over on the dark side doing all that theology stuff.
Maybe all the seriousness gets some a little ornery every now and then.


Will be back.
I think it just CANNOT end here!!

I'm so glad you've been enjoying yourself here! We have many friends, also married, who like to roam the BDF, but they come here for the comedy or a bit of a reset.

I do think the sun makes a difference. I lived through the tanning bed craze, when all the girls at work had tanning packages and were trying to get me to go. I just burn, so it was easy for me to avoid. I've also had problems with acne, eczema, rosea, and psoriasis (the dermatologists could never label it as just one thing,) so I was wearing SPF 30 sunblock back when it was claimed that SPF 15 was enough. Nowadays they say to wear SPF 30 but I always look for SPF 50 or higher when I can find it.

I'm not far from meeting the senior discounts around here, so the day is fast approaching when I'll be pulling out my license not because I'm trying to buy alcohol, but because I have to prove I qualify for that free senior coffee!

However, I've also read that Asian women tend to either look 18 or 80, so I know someday the party will end and I'll probably wake up and I'll be like a centenarian (not that there's anything wrong with that, it will just take some getting used to.)

It's been a pleasure having you here, and please do come back to visit us periodically.

You never know what kind of trouble we might be cooking up around these parts.

 

[Lanolin]

I read a book once called 138 dates.
The gal who wrote it, went on 138 dates. Well obvs.
Most of them, she only went on 1 date with, but those that made 2 or 3, then started getting a bit more serious, I think only one she thought, I've been on so many dates with this guy and he's spending lots of money on me, and I find him very attractive, so maybe I should have sex with him.

Wrongo.

Thankfully she got out of that tricky situation (don't think she was a Christian, but could be wrong. Her rationale was , she was an only child, and her childhood sweetheart who she was meant to marry, died young in a car crash, and she really wanted a family, and was getting on a bit) but thing is while the attraction might be there, it's not enough to sustain a commitment. She ended up with a teacher who she was also attracted to, but wasn't only because she fancied him but that he was kind, had goals, and wanted a family.

Some people(men) just want the sex without the consequences like I don't know...babies...?

You just say to them ok, you want that? You also want to be a daddy? And then they go nah or run a mile. lol