How Do Girls Show Interest Without Putting themselves in the Pursuer role?

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Mandynicole

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I want to show that I am interested in a friend but I do not want to be the one pursuing. I feel like that is the man's role and to be quite honest am way to scared to put myself on the line completely. What do you guys think?:)
 
Mandy....you are already half way there girl!! Acknowledging that the man should be in the pursuer role is very wise.

I think if you are truly praying about it...and the guy you are interested is of Godly character....then he will notice small things that you may do such as smiling @ him more, you guys may find yourselves talking a lot more that sort of thing.

I know it is hard....but stay on this path! you will not regret it. :)
 
You know mandy, i always like to be really suttle when it comes to things like that. So i usually make big signs that say MY HEART BLEEDS FOR YOU.
 
I would also like to point out, laying in front of your friends car would be helpful, It would definantly get his attention. You could also get a pair of binoculars and look in his window, If he sees you dont be embarrassed, he'll know your intrested in every aspect of his life then!
 
If you want the guy to be the pursuer, I'm not sure that there's anything you can do. I mean, if you show him signals that your'e interested, doesn't that mean you're taking some initiative and doing some pursuing? I just don't think you should worry about who is pursuing whom. Show him that you're interested, or tell him.
 
i think that being friends first is a great way to get to know each other.some of the best relationships are created in couples being friends for a period of time first. when the chemistry builds later it may all just come together. being honest is always good after the friendship develops more, let him know that you would be intrested in making things more serious, or let him know how you feel about him. if he doesn't feel the same then i think that would not ruin your frienship.is there something wrong with women asking the men out? it happens both ways now, i know of women who have asked men out for dates.i personally don't think there is anything wrong with a women asking a man out.this are my thoughts and opinions.it's your mind,body,soul and heart that knows what it wants and what feels right.maybe the chemistry will be feeled by both of you and it will all comes together,who knows? but if you don't know how he feels how will you ever know?
 
Well since women don't usually want to pursue, they can do things like 'sending signals'.

You know, be happy to talk to him. Make yourself available to him. Kinda go out of your way to be in his path. When you do see him, maybe say how you are just glad to see him and look forward to seeing him again. Just send signals.

Most guys with any horse sense about them can pick up signals. It's a lot like radio communications. You send the signal, the guy picks it up. If the guy can't pick up the signals, then I guess his radio is broken. *shrugs*
 
1still_waters said:
Well since women don't usually want to pursue, they can do things like 'sending signals'.

You know, be happy to talk to him. Make yourself available to him. Kinda go out of your way to be in his path. When you do see him, maybe say how you are just glad to see him and look forward to seeing him again. Just send signals.

Most guys with any horse sense about them can pick up signals. It's a lot like radio communications. You send the signal, the guy picks it up. If the guy can't pick up the signals, then I guess his radio is broken. *shrugs*
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and to add to this, remember this age old, yet still reliable saying: "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach." Start cooking
 
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Silex said:
and to add to this, remember this age old, yet still reliable saying: "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach." Start cooking
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Thanks for making me laugh. I tried it once and it worked.
 
1still_waters said:
Well since women don't usually want to pursue, they can do things like 'sending signals'.

You know, be happy to talk to him. Make yourself available to him. Kinda go out of your way to be in his path. When you do see him, maybe say how you are just glad to see him and look forward to seeing him again. Just send signals.

Most guys with any horse sense about them can pick up signals. It's a lot like radio communications. You send the signal, the guy picks it up. If the guy can't pick up the signals, then I guess his radio is broken. *shrugs*
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nah that cant be right. So if i say to a guy, im happy to see you, he'll automatically think im after him? I figure if a guy is into you, he'll go on and pursue you, so you dont have to worry about all this signal stuff.
 
Leilaii425 said:
nah that cant be right. So if i say to a guy, im happy to see you, he'll automatically think im after him? I figure if a guy is into you, he'll go on and pursue you, so you dont have to worry about all this signal stuff.
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It's in the tone and the look too. A guy should be able to tell.
 
I had to laugh at Silex's post about cooking... and although I would agree... I do think greeting the guy with a full-on four-course meal right away might be a bit too strong, since you said you want HIM to do the pursuing... (Hey guys, is it too much to ask you to cook for us sometimes???) Nothing says, "I'm interested in you," like garlic bread and a big meatball... just kidding.

If I'm interested in a guy, I will make an effort to talk to him, ask him how his day was, or if he saw any big games over the weekend (if he's a sports fan--which is another point of interest--ask him what his hobbies and interests are, etc.)

However, I do realize that this is the same approach one would use (theoretically, I guess) to also just get to know someone as a friend, so... how does one show an interest in someone just as a friend and not let it be misinterpreted?

I suppose that's another thread entirely altogether. (I for one try to play it "safe" in either situation... I'll say something like, "So a friend and I were talking about relationships the other day and this topic came up..." and then ask him his opinion about it... so that I can try to get to know him as a friend first and if that works out... well... I guess I'll have to ask for some advice myself if I find myself at that level with someone anytime in the future.) :)
 
Leilaii425 said:
nah that cant be right. So if i say to a guy, im happy to see you, he'll automatically think im after him? I figure if a guy is into you, he'll go on and pursue you, so you dont have to worry about all this signal stuff.
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This is a good point. Some women are just really really nice, so as guys, we don't really know if a woman is just being nice and friendly or if she is into us. That's why you should just be direct! Sheesh. I just don't like the games.
 
Groundhog said:
This is a good point. Some women are just really really nice, so as guys, we don't really know if a woman is just being nice and friendly or if she is into us. That's why you should just be direct! Sheesh. I just don't like the games.
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Dude you can tell. Just pay closer attention.

Big tip of the day to guys.

PAY CLOSER ATTENTION!!!
 
1still_waters said:
Dude you can tell. Just pay closer attention.

Big tip of the day to guys.

PAY CLOSER ATTENTION!!!
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3 of the women I've asked out I thought were really interested in me, but they turned me down. And I really, really liked them. Consequently, I have no idea if a woman is interested, because the ones who actually were interested acted very much like the ones who weren't. So don't assume, because you know what happens when we assume....
 
i thnk you can tell if a person likes you, its not hard. I mean they will call, and write and do whatever it takes to be near you. Dinners, dancing, lol, calling, whatever. And its good to be upfront about your intentions if you like a person. Nothing wrong with saying hey, im interested, or hey, im not. Its cool. Anyways, God bless!
 
Lol ok this sounds stupid but what about actually saying it to their face that your interested in them? Just bite the bullet and do it. Ive been burnt a couple of times for doing that when i was younger but it didnt put me off. Some guys (like the ones applied above) even said they have trouble knowing whose who and how much the girl really likes them. And if their lovely but not interested they will gently and kindly put you in your place but will nevertheless respect you for having the spunk to say it straight and for being honest with them. If they are interested then boy youve caught yourself a big one! Becasue they're gonna like you even more for being assertive!
 
olivetree32 said:
i thnk you can tell if a person likes you, its not hard. I mean they will call, and write and do whatever it takes to be near you. Dinners, dancing, lol, calling, whatever. And its good to be upfront about your intentions if you like a person. Nothing wrong with saying hey, im interested, or hey, im not. Its cool. Anyways, God bless!
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You're right, but this only works if they actually do "do whatever it takes to be near you." If they're trying to be subtle, then there is no way the other person can tell.

kiwi_OT said:
Lol ok this sounds stupid but what about actually saying it to their face that your interested in them? Just bite the bullet and do it.
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YES
 
Mandynicole said:
I want to show that I am interested in a friend but I do not want to be the one pursuing. I feel like that is the man's role and to be quite honest am way to scared to put myself on the line completely. What do you guys think?:)
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Well that line should give you an insight into how a guy feels when he goes up to a girl prepared to take the plunge, all kinds of fears take over and often we don't get that far because it's hard to keep focus on all the best parts of yourself when your standing on the edge of rejection.

I don't like the idea of one gender pursuing another, it's easy to say that men should do it becasue it's their place but you have to remember that we are as diverse a gender as females and some of us are naturally shy, reserved or lacking self-confidence and we can't just 'get over' those problems and play the part when we become attracted to someone, if anything they seem to become even bigger obstacles when what we want lies just behind them and there's no other way forward.

If he's a friend just spend more time with him and show a little more affection, unless he's completely oblivious he should realise you like him, but if that fails then just bite the bullet and tell him, in an ideal world maybe no-one would have to put their heart on the line, but if you want love sometimes you've got to take that chance.
 
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