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You must work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. The fact that you want to get close to GOD is proof that you will in time. Please be patient with God and your self, he love's you more than you know, and he want's to bless you with his spirit to the fullest. Lust, greed and selfishness is what stands in our way, if we had no sins that we keep picking up God's Spirit would pour down on us so much that our hearts would hurt from all that joy. Don't beat yourself up just repent of your sins study the word and I mean deep look for meat and learn all that you can and He will do His part. GOD will do his part. God bless and enjoy the journey.