How do I find a super shy introvert wife?

[BrotherMike]

Ah. I don't know. Each woman is different and will have their own reasons to pick me (or not). I can't really tell.

But if anything the real question would be whether she would accept or reject my offer. Because I expect to be the one who picks her, not vice versa. Furthermore I pretty much doubt that a shy woman would be the active part in a relationship.

If you don’t know, then you are not ready to find a wife. Find out who you are and what you have to offer first. The real question is why would any women want a conditional marriage?

 

[Quietmann]

If you don’t know, then you are not ready to find a wife. Find out who you are and what you have to offer first. The real question is why would any women want a conditional marriage?

Exactly because I can't know which will be the wants and expectations of the woman I will meet, possibly within years, or maybe never.

 

[Lynx]

No thanks. I want a white woman, and that's a requirement I won't give up. I don't want ugly mixed race children with weird eyes, so Asian women for you.

That said, it's interesting that you are in a Christian forum, and that none of the countries you suggest are of Christian tradition. Yes sure these countries will have their own small Christian communities, but then just like Syria or Egypt, or Turkmenistan would, and I pretty much doubt you would ever think about these countries as examples. If you mentioned at least Philippines I could have found a bit more of reason in your argument.

And another thing is that, from what I heard these women are not that rare to find in certain parts of Europe either. And they are white and Christian, unlike the ones you talk about.

Sorry if I have been a bit rude with this post, but think about it.

So why would this white, shy, introverted, Christian, etc. woman want you? Give her something to work with here.

 

[Runningman]

I understand the thought of seeking out women in Asian countries, as this seems to be the long-standing advice that has always been given to men who are looking for "submissive wives with traditional values."

I just think that most men who do so don't truly realize what those traditional values entail.

I'm certainly no expert, but over the years, I've known about 10 situations involving such couples (a bride brought in from another country) or I knew the child of such a marriage.

And the pattern was always the same: the man wanted a beautiful, sweet, submissive, loving stay-at-home wife with traditional values.

And what he failed to realize in each case is that he was taking a young woman away from the very family who had given her those traditional values, from a culture that might emphasize family much more so than his own, and didn't realize just how challenging that really is.

The top problems I have seen in these marriages have been:

1. She's cut off from her family, and over time, will become depressed and unhappy. It can't be expected that she will be in good spirits once taken away from her family, culture, friends, native language, and everything familiar to her. It must be considered that she will need a way to stay in touch with, and most likely go back and periodically visit her country on a regular basis, or to bring her family to your country to visit as often as possible.

2. This will become even more apparent if the couple has children. Traditional family values in such countries means that grandparents are to be part of the children's lives growing up, and in many cases, the mother-in-law expects to come live with the family to help raise the babies in their formative years, at the very least.

3. Her traditional family may expect you help support them (as is customary in such countries -- offspring support their parents, at the very least, if not other members as well.) You may find yourself supporting not only her, but a good number of her family members as well. And it won't be seen as gold-digging -- it will be seen as part of traditional values. Likewise, she may expect that as her parents age, you will provide for them to come and live with you. In Asian countries, it is expected that you will take care of your parents, which usually means having them live with you.

4. You will most likely encounter prejudice. I know a girl who is constantly asked, "So, are you a bad (member of her country) or a good one?" And she says that people don't really care what the answer is, because they usually just assume she's one of the "bad" ones. As much as I wish things were different these days, they just aren't, and if your children are mixed, people will certainly voice their opinions to both you and them about that fact -- often in not-so-nice ways.

5. There are a lot of cultural differences when it comes to raising children. What might be seen as abuse in one country is seen as normal everyday child-rearing in another. Physical discipline in other countries that is seen as abuse here may be seen as a normal part of parenting according to her own traditional values.

I am not trying to discourage anyone from going after what they wish for in a spouse, especially if that's where God is leading them.

But I've seen many cases in which the person seeking such a wife never even considered these things until they happened, and it certainly did not make for a very happy or stable marriage.

I would strongly encourage anyone looking into this to do some research and preparation before taking the leap.

For sure there are definitely some vast cultural differences that need to be considered. I definitely agree with that. I don’t mean to reinforce any stereotypes but this is just my experience. I am from the USA, even in the Bible belt, and most of the girls I’ve met around here aren’t my type even though they are considered generally more conservative per capita than most of the general population in the USA. They aren’t conservative enough for me.

My girlfriend is Vietnamese, born and raised, and yeah there are some vast cultural differences but she’s so my type and I really like her personality and attitude. I would say she’s almost perfect. I haven’t met anyone like that who’s born and raised in the USA and I’ve been looking for a while. Based off our conversations she is a normal Vietnamese woman and in her words there are women better than her. I believe her!

 

[Runningman]

No thanks. I want a white woman, and that's a requirement I won't give up. I don't want ugly mixed race children with weird eyes, so Asian women for you.

That said, it's interesting that you are in a Christian forum, and that none of the countries you suggest are of Christian tradition. Yes sure these countries will have their own small Christian communities, but then just like Syria or Egypt, or Turkmenistan would, and I pretty much doubt you would ever think about these countries as examples. If you mentioned at least Philippines I could have found a bit more of reason in your argument.

And another thing is that, from what I heard these women are not that rare to find in certain parts of Europe either. And they are white and Christian, unlike the ones you talk about.

Sorry if I have been a bit rude with this post, but think about it.

Oh, I totally didn’t expect you to be racist. That’s sad.

 

[BrotherMike]

I don't want ugly mixed race children with weird eyes, so Asian women for you.

Sorry if I have been a bit rude with this post, but think about it.

The only thing I can think about is why would any woman want a man who has an ugly comment (heart) like this?

 

[Pipp]

No thanks. I want a white woman, and that's a requirement I won't give up. I don't want ugly mixed race children with weird eyes, so Asian women for you.

That said, it's interesting that you are in a Christian forum, and that none of the countries you suggest are of Christian tradition. Yes sure these countries will have their own small Christian communities, but then just like Syria or Egypt, or Turkmenistan would, and I pretty much doubt you would ever think about these countries as examples. If you mentioned at least Philippines I could have found a bit more of reason in your argument.

And another thing is that, from what I heard these women are not that rare to find in certain parts of Europe either. And they are white and Christian, unlike the ones you talk about.

Sorry if I have been a bit rude with this post, but think about it.

Wow...you really have some nerve... you're in the wrong place to find a wife NO woman in her right mind will have anything to do with a boy like you. Dang.... you done made me mad...and thats HARD to do.

 

[TheIndianGirl]

No thanks. I want a white woman, and that's a requirement I won't give up. I don't want ugly mixed race children with weird eyes, so Asian women for you.

That said, it's interesting that you are in a Christian forum, and that none of the countries you suggest are of Christian tradition. Yes sure these countries will have their own small Christian communities, but then just like Syria or Egypt, or Turkmenistan would, and I pretty much doubt you would ever think about these countries as examples. If you mentioned at least Philippines I could have found a bit more of reason in your argument.

And another thing is that, from what I heard these women are not that rare to find in certain parts of Europe either. And they are white and Christian, unlike the ones you talk about.

Sorry if I have been a bit rude with this post, but think about it.

I think you would actually match really well with a white supremacist type woman, even if she doesn't meet your "shy, quiet, introvert" preferences. You should give her a chance.

 

[Lynx]

Oh, I totally didn’t expect you to be racist. That’s sad.

We've been expecting it from the start. It's what this guy, under various other names, is known for.

 

[Pipp]

You have a right to have prefrences, but there a little thing called tact...meaning you dont have to say that crap out loud. My niece is mixed and theres nothing ugly about her. God doesnt make mistakes..every child is fearfully and wonderfully made.

 

[seoulsearch]

Oh, I totally didn’t expect you to be racist. That’s sad.

It was a hallmark in one of the other threads as well, particularly against the Jews.

The next time a thread like this gets posted again, suggesting a non-white wife and then seeing what response is given will be a simple litmus test.

 

[Quietmann]

From what I have heard the Bible Belt states of the US have divorce rates above the national average, so it should be clear that something is not going well on there.

Also is your Vietnamese girlfriend a Christian?

 

[Runningman]

From what I have heard the Bible Belt states of the US have divorce rates above the national average, so it should be clear that something is not going well on there.

Also is your Vietnamese girlfriend a Christian?

Yes she’s a Christian, loves Jesus, loves to pray. My woman!

 

[Quietmann]

Uh I see that my post has been not well received.

This was just my personal opinion, having seen several of them. But of course, a mixed race person can turn out to have a better soul than an outwardly beautiful unmixed person.

 

[Runningman]

It was a hallmark in one of the other threads as well, particularly against the Jews.

The next time a thread like this gets posted again, suggesting a non-white wife and then seeing what response is given will be a simple litmus test.

Good to know!

 

[seoulsearch]

It took a little bit of digging, but I found the other threads I had told you about that sound EXACTLY like yours.

@Quietmann, if you are sincere about your inquiry, please take the time to read at least the first couple pages of these threads.

I would also encourage anyone considering spending their precious spare time answering this thread to take a minute and glance over these other threads as a comparison.

May I present:

https://christianchat.com/christian...ere-single-christian-girls-in-finland.200207/

https://christianchat.com/christian...d-christian-girl-from-france-to-marry.199441/

https://christianchat.com/christian-young-adults-forum/will-i-ever-get-a-good-wife-of-christ.201663/

"Members" who presented these threads, in order:

1. Kauko (last seen August, 2021)

2. FrenchandChristian (banned)

3. Zdenek (expressed racist opinions against the Jews -- and was banned)

As I said, @Quietmann, these users asked exactly the same questions as you and had the exact same attitudes about women. If you are truly someone different, take a look at the advice that has already been given multiple times in these other threads.

I will also add your thread to ever-growing list of those that are asking these exact same questions because it seems inevitable that the questions you are asking are going to be asked over and over again by a steady stream of "new members." Every time we see a thread like this, I will try my best to post a list of these threads for other members to consider before answering.

Something else to note is that by the third incarnation of this inquiry, the original poster skipped over acknowledging members who had answered before and only addressed (fed on the attention of) newcomers who had not posted in his before. As I mentioned these "members" simply fed on the attention of anyone they could pull into a circular argument.

Things that make you go "Hmm..."

If anyone is interested, feel free to look up these other threads for comparison.

 

[seoulsearch]

Uh I see that my post has been not well received.

This was just my personal opinion, having seen several of them. But of course, a mixed race person can turn out to have a better soul than an outwardly beautiful unmixed person.

It's ironic that you either don't realize or blatantly ignore that a good number of your audience here are from mixed families.

You're insulting most of the people you are trying to solicit advice from.

 

[Lynx]

It's ironic that you either don't realize or blatantly ignore that a good number of your audience here are from mixed families.

You're insulting most of the people you are trying to solicit advice from.

That also is a Kauko (and other names) hallmark.

 

[Quietmann]

It was a hallmark in one of the other threads as well, particularly against the Jews.

The next time a thread like this gets posted again, suggesting a non-white wife and then seeing what response is given will be a simple litmus test.

It seems that you are really annoyed with those posters you told me about.

What you don't seem to realize is that the more you feed them the more they will attack you.

If you dislike them so much then just ignore them. As if they didn't exist. It's sure a better alternative than whining on them all over the thread.

 

[seoulsearch]

It seems that you are really annoyed with those posters you told me about.

What you don't seem to realize is that the more you feed them the more they will attack you.

If you dislike them so much then just ignore them. As if they didn't exist. It's sure a better alternative than whining on them all over the thread.

I almost never put people on ignore for this very reason.

The community has a right to background info about toxic posters and attitudes before they decide how or if they want to answer.

Don't worry.

I'll likely still be here when you come back and will post all the same info again, and will update it to include your thread.