How do I learn to love myself?

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Angelique said:
So how do I learn to love myself?
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1. Focus on how God and Christ view you if indeed you are a child of God.

2. If you are not a child of God, then read and believe and do what is stated in John 1:12,13 after reading the whole Gospel of John

3. Understand that how anyone else views you is not the basis of who you are. Only God knows you and sees what is within.

4. Do something good for someone else daily, without thought of receiving thanks, acknowledgement, or praise. Do it because God want you to demonstrate your love with actions.
 
Angelique said:
Im dealing with this a long time. I dont like myself. Thats why I am dealing with depression. I did not have wonderfull childhood. My mom always said when I was a child: you take up all the energy of people. So I am always afraid things will go wrong with the people I love. I am always scared to be abanded. My father left us. My mother always said he did not wanted me and wanted an abortion, but she did want me. She told me this when I was a child. I did not have a nice childhood. I remember my mother was mad when I did nothing. I would always be carfeful with what I said because she could misunderstood and be mad. She would trow things at me etc. But I know she did the best she could, because she had her own problems.

But now I am a grownup and I still deal with these feelings. I used to be very suïcidal, thinking of suïcide a couple of times a day. But Im proud I never tried it. But the suicidal feeling is a feeling of comfort. If it gets to difficult I can step out.

So how do I learn to love myself?
I would appreciate prayers too.
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I hate myself too, but for me, I don't have self loathing because I was not loved but because I hate all the stupid and careless things I've done and said in life, before and after becoming a Christian. Those things bother me because they caused real people to have real hurt. And becoming a Christian has made me very sensitive to causing pain in life.

On one hand this self loathing is a good thing because it makes me look forward to the day this life ends and all my mistakes and offenses get erased from history and I enter into the kingdom of God where all things are made new for everybody (everybody that believes, that is).

In my self loathing God's love for me gets magnified and makes me remember and appreciate the forgiveness and the salvation and the unconditional love I have received. Hatred of self can be a constructive thing. It's actually a necessary thing in the Christian's life. This life is frustrating and out of order and God wants us to know that so we'll pin our hopes on the life to come and not on how we can love ourselves in this temporary life that is slowly draining away and will be gone someday.
 
Ralph- said:
I hate myself too, but for me, I don't have self loathing because I was not loved but because I hate all the stupid and careless things I've done and said in life, before and after becoming a Christian. Those things bother me because they caused real people to have real hurt. And becoming a Christian has made me very sensitive to causing pain in life.

On one hand this self loathing is a good thing because it makes me look forward to the day this life ends and all my mistakes and offenses get erased from history and I enter into the kingdom of God where all things are made new for everybody (everybody that believes, that is).

In my self loathing God's love for me gets magnified and makes me remember and appreciate the forgiveness and the salvation and the unconditional love I have received. Hatred of self can be a constructive thing. It's actually a necessary thing in the Christian's life. This life is frustrating and out of order and God wants us to know that so we'll pin our hopes on the life to come and not on how we can love ourselves in this temporary life that is slowly draining away and will be gone someday.
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I think I can understand how you feel.

Things I have found helpful are joining two (mature) men's weekly Bible studies (They are gracious enough to allow me to attend, too. :)), and when I many times a day cringe from a memory of how stupid I've been all my life, I respond with gratitude toward Jesus and the Father for all the blessings They have showered down upon me throughout my life.

(I expect it would also be good for me to get some therapy for these deep painful issues but I haven't gotten "a round tuit" yet. :o)
 
Angelique said:
Yes that is the feeling. I am not mad at nobody. I have forgiven those who hurt me a long long time ago. I was never mad, just sad. Now I am grown I see that everybody has their own struggles. Nobody is perfect and I know my mom did the best she could at that time while dealing with her own problems.
Hurting people often hurt other people. I also forgave my dad.

This bible verse means a lot to me: For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12

But that does not take away the feeling of self hate. It's gotten a bit less, but it's still there. It also comes with heavyness. When it was worse I would really get comfort in suicidal thoughts. Knowing if the pain would get too much I could step out. I would think about it al day long and cry all day long. These feelings go deep.

It's like something is broken in me, and I dont know how to heal it completely, nobody can do this for me, but myself. I should be able to, but I can't. I am alive, but I don't feel like it.
I know have to start accepting myself to heal and loving myself but its difficult when you hate yourself.
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Oh sister do I ever understand suicidal thoughts, and how they are just there, and how you can't stop them. I had them at least every 5 minutes for 2 solid years, and have heard testimony of a man having them like that for 20. I know hopelessness, I know the weight of the hatred and all that. I know, and I also know the truth now and I know one who offers us a light yolk. I know of one who says he can replace our heart of stone, who can teach us to desire Him, to teach us to forgive. Sister it wasn't until I hit my knees in total defeat, knowing "I can't do it anymore", My way was death, and I knew the good I was capable of, and it was less than "0". I feel to my knees broken and lost, and He picked me back up and made me NEW!!

He made me into a God seeker, He remade me to reflect His glory on this earth, to have Him indwelling me. All those heavy weights you are talking about will fall away in Him sister, but you have to throw your hands up and surrender all to Him. All the hate, all the pain, all the injustice, you can't hold anything back. Seek Him and you will find, knock and the door will be open, ask and you will receive. I pray that you go to Jesus and leave all this hurt and anger behind you, He frees us and calls you to come. All in Jesus name.
 
Aw sis I'm sending you an internet hug. God loves you very much and so do we. I have struggled with depression myself. What has helped me is reading the word more often and praying daily. You need sometime alone with him every night. Also working out and eating right...that lifts my spirits.

Send me me a friend request on here if you would like. I'll be your friend. Try to remember that God created you because he loves you. The creator of the entire universe needed you to be a part of it. Maybe your earthly father didn't want you...but your real father does. He loves you. Accept his love. :)
 
Angelique said:
Im dealing with this a long time. I dont like myself. Thats why I am dealing with depression. I did not have wonderfull childhood. My mom always said when I was a child: you take up all the energy of people. So I am always afraid things will go wrong with the people I love. I am always scared to be abanded. My father left us. My mother always said he did not wanted me and wanted an abortion, but she did want me. She told me this when I was a child. I did not have a nice childhood. I remember my mother was mad when I did nothing. I would always be carfeful with what I said because she could misunderstood and be mad. She would trow things at me etc. But I know she did the best she could, because she had her own problems.

But now I am a grownup and I still deal with these feelings. I used to be very suïcidal, thinking of suïcide a couple of times a day. But Im proud I never tried it. But the suicidal feeling is a feeling of comfort. If it gets to difficult I can step out.

So how do I learn to love myself?
I would appreciate prayers too.
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My advice to you in order not to be suicidal is ALWAYS HAVE HOPE IN YOU.

You must believe that Jesus will grant your wishes as if it already fulfilled (Mark 11:23-24)

And if you feel afflicted, always pray that your negative emotions to be gone (James 5:13)

Have fun praying, worshiping with your Christian brethren and reading/studying the Bible.

You can like yourself if YOU WILL HAVE FAITH, HOPE AND LOVE as mentioned by Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 13.

God bless you sis :)
 
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