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bobie
Guest
Okay - so you are really infatuate.....yeah that can be painful. Only time will solve it too - sorry about that
but the question is when? this really sucks since i hate waiting
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but the question is when? this really sucks since i hate waiting
I do believe that this all exists in the mind - as you know - and that the infatuation is the direct results of thinking of someone's wonderful qualities over and over again in your mind, until you have quite given them a status of a god in your heart.
This person has no power over you to make you feel anything whatsoever. Remember this most importantly. You have given this person power over you by praising their qualities. You must now take the power back. This is true of any addiction, and these feelings - I believe - are not any different from an addiction, because you get a rush of chemicals in your brain when you think of this person.
Take the power back! You gave the power to this object, now take it back!
Quest
I don't think he is talking about lust and porn. He is talking about puppy love.
He has thought about this girl over and over, how wonderful she is. His mind has come to depend on the wonderful feelings thinking of her brings him. When he sees her, his mind gets a rush of chemicals just like with any addiction, because addiction is worship of false gods.
I believe that he has so praised this woman and her qualities, that he has made her a god in his heart. All he needs to realize is that he created this perfect image of her in his mind, and that he has the power to stop worshiping the ground upon which she walks. She's a human just like everyone else, full of flaws. Only God deserves that kind of admiration.
Quest
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bobie
Guest
thnx! tho i never put her over god, you are right about her having power over me! and you are also right about the fact that i become like this because of her qualities! again thanks for the tip my friend!
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bobie
Guest
that's the reason why i told her about what im feeling about 3 months ago! but so far the feeling is still here! hehe its so easy to fall into this "poor me poor me" feeling but i guess im the reason why im feeling this way!
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hvnbnd24
Guest
yea i had the same problem (still struggle a little bit with it). I sought God and then one day out of the blue my pastor (who knew NOTHING about it) came to me and told me that i needed to seperate myself from people who were weighing me down and immediately i knew what he was talking about. I struggled to seperate myself at first because me and him were really close friends and eventually i just had to do it. Salvation is much more important than a little crush
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Not_The_Righteous
Guest
Tell her/him, if you haven't already. Best way to begin overcoming infatuation is to not let it be your little secret anymore. Infatuation is, generally speaking, a way we indulge ourselves in emotional fantasy.
If it's not a secret anymore, you actually have to deal with it rather than decieving yourself into thinking that you can keep how it makes you feel without the risk of rejection. Bringing it into the light will, if you let it, make you process your own fears and questions of your own significance. It will help you discover where you've put false hope and allow you to ground your hope where you've been designed to ground it - in Christ.
That bit about "tell him/her" may not apply to everyone, but it was always what it came back to when I struggled as a single guy with intense feelings for a girl. It's certainly not a quick fix. But quick fixes are notorious for not really resolving the problem.
Personally in these cases, she (whoever she was at the time) didn't have power over me, and she wasn't an idol. The idol I was trying to serve was myself and my own emotional needs. And, like a good idol, it demanded worship. The liturgy or worship I gave to this idol was placing my hope in her to satisfy/mend/complete my emotional needs, something only Christ was meant to do. The result was constantly going back to thoughts about that person, even when on some level I knew it was not good for me. Guess what though - you don't have to keep drawing water from that dry well.
Many, if not most, of the recurring emotional attachments I have experienced myself or helped friends deal with began to be resolved when it wasn't allowed to be a private emotional fantasy. Face your fears of rejection, if you haven't already, and then begin dealing with why you allow those fears to dictate your thoughts, performance, and happiness.
Long process, perhaps. But nothing worth doing happened overnight... the good news is, if you're in Christ, He's not given you anything He's not going to supply the grace to overcome.
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bobie
Guest
thank you my friend! i actually did the exact same thing that you said a few months ago! i even ask her to reject me! anyway its been 3 months since i did that and its still here! i guess only time can tell when this thing would go away!
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Not_The_Righteous
Guest
Well then you've gotten further along in the process than a lot of people do.
It will go away. It's kind of hard to tell you how to go through this process further without it coming across as overly opinionated or weighty. In any case, it won't be enough to just tell her, you're going to have to dig into your own heart and ask yourself honestly what you're really wanting to be fulfilled by her in particular, and why you keep gravitating back towards her as your fulfillment.
It will heal. It will go away. The human heart is a very tricky thing.
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oopsies
Guest
i have no idea. i've never fallen in "love" before lol though it would be interesting to read responses ^.^
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MidniteWelder
Guest
We should miss Jesus that much, to be more infatuated with God than another human.
Be happy and confident with yourself, in that you need no other person to complete your own happiness.
If God means for someone to be with you as more than a friend,(romantic interest) it should be his will for the one he chooses not ours.
God may be working on that special person right now,
God answers with . yes, no, or wait.
You can still be nice to this person you like, but show it only as a friend. If they snub you, don't worry about it, it's their loss. Leave them be. If they ever change their mind they will let you know. By then you will have moved on to someone better who God has chosen for you.
I hope some of this helps
Be happy and confident with yourself, in that you need no other person to complete your own happiness.
If God means for someone to be with you as more than a friend,(romantic interest) it should be his will for the one he chooses not ours.
God may be working on that special person right now,
God answers with . yes, no, or wait.
You can still be nice to this person you like, but show it only as a friend. If they snub you, don't worry about it, it's their loss. Leave them be. If they ever change their mind they will let you know. By then you will have moved on to someone better who God has chosen for you.
I hope some of this helps
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lindapinda
Guest
Hey bobie I've gone through the same thing. I had an infatuation with someone for a long time. Every time I beat it it came back stronger. I didn't tell him, cause I believe it's up to the guys to make the first move. But I knew from a very reliable and trustworthy source that he is not interested. I asked for help dealing with this. One of my friends told me to have intimate moments with God. That helped a lot. It's now not a longing anymore. When I feel that, I direct it towards God. But now it's changing. No longing, just adoration. Whenever I see him, which is sometimes only twice a month, I just feel adoration for him. I'm a very passionate person, and so it's hard for me. But I also know that I have to overcome my family inheritance, which is loving someone who doesn't adore me. And God has told me that he is not the right one. When the right one comes along, he will adore me. Sometimes, as Christians, we crave physical intimacy, which we don't really get. And that can turn into something more. But know that God loves you and craves intimacy with you, and if you just let him, he will fulfill your spiritual intimacy needs. That's what keeps me sane and I can actually concentrate and be myself, and love God.
I did when I was 17. I even attempted suicide to get her, lol and wound up in the hospital. I eventually did get her and after a few years fell out of love with her. I was young and stupid, she was much older.
The feeling is incredibly powerful. I don't think I will get it again either, who knows. I hope too someday with the right lady.
Quest