Hey everyone,
I know it's been a while, but here's the 411 on the situation I found myself in, and I know it's happening to lots of other people.
You meet someone, exchange numbers, maybe spend time together, but talk and text A LOT. Your phones are going off constantly throughout the day. Cloud nine, right? A natural high... It's sweet and wonderful... for a while.
And then, without any warning whatsoever, it stops. Crickets are chirping and your phone stands still. It's so unearthly quiet that you can soon hear the sound of automatic street lights flickering on and off. Not wanting to be clingy, you wait several days, then send a tentative text... and get one or two words in reply, when it used to be hours-long conversations. They never text you anymore, when you used to wake up to 5 messages waiting.
And then you find out why.
There's someone else. And they don't even have the guts to tell you, you find out through someone else. They think nothing of it, and don't think they're doing anything wrong because they're single and unattached.
I hear this story over and over in today's high-tech dating world, and have experienced it all myself a few times now. It makes me afraid to talk to anyone, because even if there was no "official" "relationship", it sure does feel like one and when it goes dead silent, you go through all the same stages: grief, anger, depression, vengeance, and finally, hopefully, forgiveness... for both yourself, and the other person. But that's the thing, you most likely never speak to the other person again (not because you haven't tried, but because they're not interested anymore and have dumped and replaced you with a single text without even letting you know.)
But what exactly was the sin if there was no relationship? They didn't necessarily "cheat" because you weren't an "official" couple to begin with. So why does it feel exactly the same?
How do you all feel about this situation and how have you coped? I know that for myself, God has told me that my personal sin is a matter of worship/idolatry. The other person's attention becomes addictive to me, and I wind up making that person more important than God.
I feel I am learning thatl a major key to healing is that we ourselves have to repent of becoming too dependent on another person and making them our own idol. In a sense, we are worshiping them and they are worshiping us (they abandon us when they find a more interesting or fulfilling idol to worship), and it all becomes a tangled web of anger and hurt feelings. But am I right in assuming that the root issue is still sin?
I am struggling with repenting to God over my own wrongdoings... but yet at the same time, being worried that God does not care about my feelings or loneliness, just my obedience and willingness to grovel for forgiveness, and it puts me into further distance with my faith.
What do the rest of you do in this situation? Any thoughts and especially helpful tips on getting through are greatly appreciated (please don't JUST say praying and reading the Bible--I have been dedicating about 3 hours daily to these activities, as well as church attendance, talking to mentors I'm accountable to, fasting every ten days, etc. OF COURSE all those things are important... but why are they not helping, even after several months? I literally pray for an hour in the morning and another at night... not out of piousness or self-righteousness, but desperation for God's help!!)
Thank you for all your thoughts... Love and God bless!!
I know it's been a while, but here's the 411 on the situation I found myself in, and I know it's happening to lots of other people.
You meet someone, exchange numbers, maybe spend time together, but talk and text A LOT. Your phones are going off constantly throughout the day. Cloud nine, right? A natural high... It's sweet and wonderful... for a while.
And then, without any warning whatsoever, it stops. Crickets are chirping and your phone stands still. It's so unearthly quiet that you can soon hear the sound of automatic street lights flickering on and off. Not wanting to be clingy, you wait several days, then send a tentative text... and get one or two words in reply, when it used to be hours-long conversations. They never text you anymore, when you used to wake up to 5 messages waiting.
And then you find out why.
There's someone else. And they don't even have the guts to tell you, you find out through someone else. They think nothing of it, and don't think they're doing anything wrong because they're single and unattached.
I hear this story over and over in today's high-tech dating world, and have experienced it all myself a few times now. It makes me afraid to talk to anyone, because even if there was no "official" "relationship", it sure does feel like one and when it goes dead silent, you go through all the same stages: grief, anger, depression, vengeance, and finally, hopefully, forgiveness... for both yourself, and the other person. But that's the thing, you most likely never speak to the other person again (not because you haven't tried, but because they're not interested anymore and have dumped and replaced you with a single text without even letting you know.)
But what exactly was the sin if there was no relationship? They didn't necessarily "cheat" because you weren't an "official" couple to begin with. So why does it feel exactly the same?
How do you all feel about this situation and how have you coped? I know that for myself, God has told me that my personal sin is a matter of worship/idolatry. The other person's attention becomes addictive to me, and I wind up making that person more important than God.
I feel I am learning thatl a major key to healing is that we ourselves have to repent of becoming too dependent on another person and making them our own idol. In a sense, we are worshiping them and they are worshiping us (they abandon us when they find a more interesting or fulfilling idol to worship), and it all becomes a tangled web of anger and hurt feelings. But am I right in assuming that the root issue is still sin?
I am struggling with repenting to God over my own wrongdoings... but yet at the same time, being worried that God does not care about my feelings or loneliness, just my obedience and willingness to grovel for forgiveness, and it puts me into further distance with my faith.
What do the rest of you do in this situation? Any thoughts and especially helpful tips on getting through are greatly appreciated (please don't JUST say praying and reading the Bible--I have been dedicating about 3 hours daily to these activities, as well as church attendance, talking to mentors I'm accountable to, fasting every ten days, etc. OF COURSE all those things are important... but why are they not helping, even after several months? I literally pray for an hour in the morning and another at night... not out of piousness or self-righteousness, but desperation for God's help!!)
Thank you for all your thoughts... Love and God bless!!
