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How Do You Determine If Someone Is "Christian Enough" For You?
- Thread starter seoulsearch
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I think that's good that you value relationships over sex.
I guess I was just struck by how many Christian men I have heard completely swear off marriage. Not the single for now guys, but the ones who are committed against marriage. It just makes me wonder how that's all going to play out. Are they intending to remain completely celibate? Are they actually going to be able to do it? Do they really just end up with a string of hook-ups or casual relationships that are technically platonic but not really pure? I'm not condemning them, and I apologize if it came across that way. I just wonder about the statistical likelihood of them not falling into sexual sin.
Not that other people don't have temptation; I was just musing about this small demographic at this time.
No.1 on my checklist is "Loves Father God" and second is "God is his first priority" ,so if someone really does love Father God he'll want to talk to him(pray), listen to him speak(read the Bible), spend time with his other children(go to church), want more people to love him(evangelize), as much as he possibly can, I'm reminded of the widow's offering, where her offering wasn't measured by how much she gave but by the fact that she gave more than she possibly could. So I think we can't put a measure on these things but that's just me 
I guess my thoughts are on spiritual leadership. How can a man spiritually lead his wife and children without praying with them, studying God's word with them, worshiping with them? And how can he lead a wife spiritually, when she isn't worshiping the same god that he is? I believe this may sound easier for you in theory than it would in real life.
Good points, but I have not been able to definitively find verses stating that the husband is to be the spiritual leader in the home. He definitely needs to be A leader; I'm just not sure about THE leader, any more than I am to be. There are some places where it can be inferred, but we have biblical examples of women taking leadership roles in the home as well. I won't put the burden of my spirituality on another human being, nor do I want to do the same for him. I think that husbands and wives should challenge, support, comfort, and influence each other in our Walk with the Lord. We both need to be pursing the Lord, leading our children, and guiding our family in a Godly manner.
Well, Men are to their wives as Christ is to the Church. Which means spiritual leadership to me.
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah
Guest
Just an observation, but you seem to make a lot of generalizations about men. Such as the above.
I'm sure for every man in your church that is involved in any kind of sexual whatever, a woman in your church married or not is doing the same thing. Just a day or so ago i was reading in a magazine that Sexual addiction and sexual sin is the most popular among Christians in the church. It also said the percentage of men and women who struggle with sexual addictions and sexual sin are about half and half. Women are just less likely to reach out for help though and also more likely to commit suicide over it.
It just doesn't seem fair or right to put this all on men when women struggle just like they do.
I don't think I would've used that....... with its double-meaning and all........
I clarified that in #82, which you may not have had a chance to read yet.
I am a woman with 3 sisters and a lot of strong women in my life. I kinda know where I stand with my gender. I will bring up more topics about men, because those are the ones that I could use more input on. I'm pretty analytical. I notice trends and comment on them.
Think of it as a scientific endeavor. Men are the unknown element in this case, so I try to study them, understanding that there are many variations and all are unique individuals. A person can make generalizations after observations because we as humans do that almost unconsciously. Being sexist is stating "all women are evil." Being analytical is "I have noticed a trend of___." Do you see the difference?
I have said it about 100 hundred times, and I will repeat it again: I am not anti-male.
not to minimize their statements in any way, but for the greater part of my life, i had zero intention of getting married either.
God has a way of changing hearts in spite of ourselves. : )
Thats why you take them to church? My parents never really did any of those things at the house. We went ot sunday school, church, youth group and they had their adult bible study. We prayed over food, but never like all sat in a room and had a prayer. IN fact I cant think of any of my friends families who ever dd anything like that either.
My family did. And mostly, it was led by my mother.
Since my dad traveled, my mom had to take on a more assertive role in my father's absence. That's probably why the Gothards didn't dig their claws in as much as they could have.
sigh, i'm so glad i missed that.
extra long denim jumpsuits everyday would get old.
were your parents always involved?
I think it was something my mom dabbled in during my junior high and high school years. We were homeschooled off and on, which was cool because we got to travel through the US and through Europe with my dad. This was when there was little support for homeschoolers, except the Gothard-types. They have a lot of Christian-sounding information, but it's really just works-based faith. There is a lot of guilt and shaming underlying the teachings. Legalism is a yoke that's pretty tough to bear.
We weren't really deep into the movement, but it did influence us and our community a lot. It was one of the reasons I got married so quickly to a controlling man. And it was enough to really mess up my now agnostic younger sister. After seeing what it did to their oldest two daughters and probably because they started going to a less legalistic church, my parents relaxed a lot of the religious rigidity.
ok, now i understand. i've never understood how that happened (based upon my perception of you), but clearly i do now. i'm glad that you guys weren't entrenched even more.
my sister got pulled out school to be homeschooled during this fad. i don't even have the self control to comment on this subject further, except to say that because of this direction, she ended up taking an "apprenticeship" to learn about troubled kids. instead, she and other rather young and naive girls were locked in a dormitory to be put in charge of super hard core troubled juvenile delinquents, each in charge of one. these young girls who signed up for an apprenticeship actually were glorified babysitters of young ladies who were angry and had life experience my young sister couldn't even process. when she was allowed to call out, she'd call me in a panic saying, "i am kind scared of this girl, she sleeps with a knife under her pillow". and that's one of the tame stories. both groups of young women were really shortchanged by this experience, and the troubled young women deserved much more than what these girls could offer them.
Church is an important supplement, but learning about God starts in the home. A child's first idea of God as a father begins with looking at their own earthly father. So basically, how your child views you is how he/she will view God the Father. (Whether that is attentive, disinterested, patient or demanding, etc etc.) Just something to think about. That is all. Thanks for being so cool about my opinions.
it's extremely subtle, though. they hold these conferences, of which i attended part of one, mostly out of curiosity.
the deceptive thing is (at the time) i couldn't find a single flaw in the logic of their biblical handouts. they are conservatively written, lots of scripture and from what i can recall, thought there was decent stuff offered. unfortunately, they have a gift for pushing legalism to a whole new level.
one example i can think of is that my mom and sister refused to ride in my truck while i was listening to some secular music i had playing. i quickly attempted to appeal to them, offering to change the music to a christian station. unfortunately, there was percussion in the music, and therefore, of the devil, so i turned off my stereo (considering i was fresh out of classical at the moment). i asked if everyone in the family believed in this, and i was told "well, not everyone is that spiritually mature yet" or some kind of similar statement.
also, because my sister decided to get married to someone (another christian) and didn't follow the "courtship rules" the scars from that whole debacle are still healing. i had no idea whether the rest of the family would be showing up, or what. she was practically cut off from the majority of the church because of her "defiance".
also, a number of them are hardcore into "God planning your family" to the extent that many (if not all) feel birth control is sinful. as a result, many have rather large families.
i can speak of these things now only because they're all out of the gothard-ites--thankfully everyone's been sprung free.
First, I ask her date of birth to know what her astrology sign is. Then I read her palm to see if I'm in her future. Then I check if her CHI is healthy. And after all that, I make sure her chakra is align with the universe.
You can't be to careful.
You can't be to careful.
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Tmercy
Guest
There are many things that count as unequally Yoked. Walk with Christ, how family relates, how your temperament related with theirs, ect. Ultimately keep seeking Christ and the Lord will take care of you