Back during the days of the events of the original post, I most certainly wanted to get married. In fact, one of the reasons I was so devastated was that the most respected leaders of the healing ministry at my church came and prayed for my loved one. I felt an energy in the air, almost like an electric current. I was sure this was God's presence and that He was going to heal my loved one, and they would live long enough to see me meet (and hopefully approve of) the right person, then attend my wedding.
But it was not meant to be, as they died a short time later.
These days, I'm not sure what I want in life anymore, and I suppose that's part of the lesson -- to learn about it being less about what I want and more about what God wants.
I've actually had 2 opportunities over the past 10 years or so to get married (and the crowd gasps)
, but didn't feel at the time that it was where God was leading. Whether that will change, I don't know.
I truly admire your faith.
For myself, I try to balance my outlook between cautious optimism and the acceptance of reality. After all, when God told Ezekiel that He was going to "take away the delight of your eyes" (and Ezekiel's wife died that night,) Ezekiel couldn't just wish or positively think such a thing away.
The Bible clearly tells us there will be times of trials, trouble, and discipline, some of it brought on by God Himself, and I want to be realistic about that. I have met some Christians in my real life who seem to take on an almost New Age approach by believing they can ward off every bad thing through obedience and positive faith thinking.
2024 was clipping along, and then suddenly, it seemed like my Christian inner circle was hit by a literal Cancer Tornado. It resulted in disfiguring surgeries for some, death for others. Most troubling of all is that one of the deaths was the cornerstone of a young family, rather than the one who has lived a long full life, and has told God for years they are ready to go at anytime.
And I was told, "We aren't to question God's wisdom, we can only accept it and be thankful."
One of the things on my To Do list is to write the family who lost their bedrock and check up to see how they're doing.
In the Lutheran church where I was raised which does not believe in Once Saved Always Saved, we were told that when God took someone young, "It might be a blessing because maybe God knew that person would later fall away." And so we were to see it as God's grace, and something to be thankful for.
I am praying about what to say to this family, because, knowing especially how much the mother of the person lost is grieving, I definitely don't feel that telling her to be thankful is the right thing to say at this time.
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