How Good Are YOU At Submitting to Authority?

[seoulsearch]

Hello there, fellow singles!!

After reading through some of the excellent threads we have going regarding submission, I was just wondering, how good are you when it comes to submitting to authority?

All my life, I have been known as a "goody two shoes" but I assure you, I have my moments! I tend to question everything and as you can tell from my posts, have few qualms about confronting ideas, rules, or mandates I feel strongly about (I DO try to be respectful, though!)

However, I often wonder--ARE MANY OF US SINGLE BECAUSE GOD IS WAITING FOR US TO LEARN HOW TO PROPERLY SUBMIT TO AUTHORITY? Perhaps one of the reasons WE are waiting so long is because GOD is waiting on us to allow Him to work on things like this within our own hearts.

Several years ago I decided that it will be awkward to suddenly have to submit to a husband if I'm not already somehow practicing this concept in real life. So, after much thought and prayer, I decided I would submit all the major decisions in my life to two of the most important men in my life--my father, and my best male friend of 9 years, who also happens to be incarcerated (each one knows me best in different areas of my life.)

Now, don't be deceived into thinking this has been easy. My male friend and I have especially strong wills and when my temper gets the best of me, I have, more than once, told him he can kiss my Blessed Assurance. But, I'm learning, and I'm very thankful that God has given me patient, LONG-SUFFERING people to see me through!!! And, I've made up my mind that if we bump heads over an issue and I feel God tugging at my heart, I will go with what they tell me, even if I disagree.

Ladies, we may feel as if we're somehow "cheated"--the wife is told to submit to the husband--BUT, what has to be kept in mind is that the HUSBAND is ALSO required to submit--to the LORD. Jesus told husbands that they are to love their wives, cherish them, be willing to suffer and die for them as He did for the church, and, be submitted to the Father as Jesus was submitted to His Father's will. As you can see, being a husband is a HUGE responsibility. Men do not in any way, shape, or form, get away with an "easier" calling within marriage. The husband is NOT the "ultimate boss" of the marriage--GOD is!!

I have a very dear mentor who told me of a time when she wanted to lend money to a certain person both she and her husband knew. In fact, she felt God was telling her to do so--but her husband had a bad feeling and said no. She was upset, but chose to submit to his decision. She believes God did want her to lend money to that person, but that He was also testing her willingness to submit to her husband.

Keep in mind that if your husband is keeping you from doing something God wants you to do, we, as Christian wives, are to love and support our husbands' decisions (unless, of course, he's telling us to go against God's will--for example, if he wants to bring pornography into the marriage.) If our husband is somehow wrong, we have to trust that he is under GOD's authority and that God Himself will handle the matter if our husband is somehow making the wrong decision.

How do you all of you feel? How well do you submit to authority, and do you feel this is impacting your readiness for a spouse? Do you feel God may be waiting for you to learn to submit before He sends you "the one", or do you feel this has nothing to do with the fact that you're single?

 

[Megatron]

some people have authority....but not all use it well. so if i disagree with their ideas or motives than i probably wont listen

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

Yeaaaaah i said this in one thread and i will say it again. I wont follow my husband around like a puppy dog doing whatever he wants me to do.

I wont have anyone over me so to speak.

Kim that story you told about your friend and the whole money thing really irritated me. If God told her to give the person the money, i think even if her husband said no, she should have anyways.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

hahaha um my dog actually submitted that last post before i could finish. She hit the enter button .... maybe she's not as dumb as i thought...

I just think that marriage should be about equality, not im the husband, i make the final decisions, you do what i say.

 

[seoulsearch]

Yeaaaaah i said this in one thread and i will say it again. I wont follow my husband around like a puppy dog doing whatever he wants me to do.

I wont have anyone over me so to speak.

Kim that story you told about your friend and the whole money thing really irritated me. If God told her to give the person the money, i think even if her husband said no, she should have anyways.

I totally understand, Nod . But I think my mentor made the right choice... She taught me that if she WAS supposed to give the money, God saw that her heart was willing--and if her husband caused her to disobey God, her husband would be responsible and would have to answer to God over the matter. (She didn't say it in a way of, "Ha, ha, NOW he's REALLY going to get it!" but rather, she knew God was testing her willingness to submit to her husband's authority and trust God with whatever happened next.) She chose to let allow her husband to have the final decision between them and fight for peace (which WAS a fight, because she WAS very upset over the matter.)

It is, at the very least, a lesson I won't forget. Sometimes we have to choose to follow authority, even within our families, and trust that God will take care of the situation...

 

[kayem77]

Kim that story you told about your friend and the whole money thing really irritated me. If God told her to give the person the money, i think even if her husband said no, she should have anyways.

I think the same....isn't God's authority supposed to be greater than the husband's? Even in marriage. Men and women make mistakes, even being godly men and women.
A wife has to submit to Jesus first, and if the husband is interferring with that, I think God would be pleased to see she submitted to Him even if the husband didn't want to. What do you think seoul?

 

[seoulsearch]

I think the same....isn't God's authority supposed to be greater than the husband's? Even in marriage. Men and women make mistakes, even being godly men and women.
A wife has to submit to Jesus first, and if the husband is interferring with that, I think God would be pleased to see she submitted to Him even if the husband didn't want to. What do you think seoul?

Hi Kayem,

Great post and excellent point. I would have wholeheartedly agreed with you and Nod a few years ago.

Now, I guess I see it as being similar to other situations such as:

1. Jesus telling the Pharisees to pay taxes ("Render to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's"). They were paying taxes to a vicious, oppressive government--who would agree to that?!! But Jesus was teaching us to respect authority (God tells us that He is the one who puts it there to begin with) even though they may do wrong--we have to trust that God will take care of it.

2. God tells us to respect our parents. He doesn't say only respect them if they do what's right, look out for our best interests, or keep their promises--He tells us to respect them no matter what, and trust that He will take care of the rest.

Something else my mentor taught me is that there is protection in our submission (the Bible says there is safety among a multitude of counselors) -- God honors a decision to obey those He has placed in authority, and if they are wrong, it's up to Him to correct them.

This is just my own opinion. My dad and my male friend and I have bumped heads SEVERAL times over the years... but I've also learned that they sometimes see things from an angle I never even thought of... and sometimes, it saved me a lot of grief, even if it took a long time to see it.

Just my own opinions though!

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

I totally understand, Nod . But I think my mentor made the right choice... She taught me that if she WAS supposed to give the money, God saw that her heart was willing--and if her husband caused her to disobey God, her husband would be responsible and would have to answer to God over the matter. (She didn't say it in a way of, "Ha, ha, NOW he's REALLY going to get it!" but rather, she knew God was testing her willingness to submit to her husband's authority and trust God with whatever happened next.) She chose to let allow her husband to have the final decision between them and fight for peace (which WAS a fight, because she WAS very upset over the matter.)

It is, at the very least, a lesson I won't forget. Sometimes we have to choose to follow authority, even within our families, and trust that God will take care of the situation...

Dont get me wrong i totally get what your saying

I just think that, what if this person really really needed the money, but because her husband said no because of a feeling he had, now this person wont have the money.

I just think it sucks that she obeyed her husband over God.

 

[seoulsearch]

Dont get me wrong i totally get what your saying

I just think that, what if this person really really needed the money, but because her husband said no because of a feeling he had, now this person wont have the money.

I just think it sucks that she obeyed her husband over God.

I totally understand what you're saying, Nod. This is a little different angle, but sometimes there is a reason it may not work out, even if we want to so something good.

I was in a situation several years ago... Although I didn't feel it was from God, I did want to help out a co-worker. For whatever reason, I held back. I later learned that if I HAD helped this person, they in turn would have helped a friend of theirs... who would have used the money for a heroin addiction.

It's a long story and it took a while to come out but now I understand why I was prevented from helping that person even though I wanted to... Sometimes there is another side to even the best of intentions that doesn't work out for a reason.

I respect everything you're saying though!! And you ladies make excellent points which could be a thread all on its own--when does one choose to obey God over obeying a husband...

 

[allforfun]

Yeaaaaah i said this in one thread and i will say it again. I wont follow my husband around like a puppy dog doing whatever he wants me to do.

I wont have anyone over me so to speak.

Kim that story you told about your friend and the whole money thing really irritated me. If God told her to give the person the money, i think even if her husband said no, she should have anyways.

I saw God make Eve stand by side Adam not behind.

I'll stay single forever before I have anyone over me. Why did God give me a brain if he expected me to be housepet?

 

[kayem77]

Hi Kayem,

Great post and excellent point. I would have wholeheartedly agreed with you and Nod a few years ago.

Now, I guess I see it as being similar to other situations such as:

1. Jesus telling the Pharisees to pay taxes ("Render to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's"). They were paying taxes to a vicious, oppressive government--who would agree to that?!! But Jesus was teaching us to respect authority (God tells us that He is the one who puts it there to begin with) even though they may do wrong--we have to trust that God will take care of it.

2. God tells us to respect our parents. He doesn't say only respect them if they do what's right, look out for our best interests, or keep their promises--He tells us to respect them no matter what, and trust that He will take care of the rest.

Something else my mentor taught me is that there is protection in our submission (the Bible says there is safety among a multitude of counselors) -- God honors a decision to obey those He has placed in authority, and if they are wrong, it's up to Him to correct them.

This is just my own opinion. My dad and my male friend and I have bumped heads SEVERAL times over the years... but I've also learned that they sometimes see things from an angle I never even thought of... and sometimes, it saved me a lot of grief, even if it took a long time to see it.

Just my own opinions though!

Hmm yeah I get what you are saying I think . It's hard to submit when you know the decission is wrong. Even when the decission is right, submission is just hard, that's all .This reminded me of some holocaust movies I've seen. I saw ones when they show some parts about the nazi officers wives, and how some of them didn't agree with what their husbands where doing killing thousands of people , but they tried hard to respect and love them anyways. =/
I don't know if the submission part would apply when the man is OBVIOUSLY not doing God's will, or in an ungodly marriage.

I honestly wouldn't like to live feeling like everything I submit to is wrong or that my opinion is throwed away, especially knowing my personality. I guess that's why you have to really know whom you are marrying and let God guide the union .
I agree that the man is the leader of the family, but I think he also has to listen to his wife,then make the right decission. If he loves his wife, he will want her to be happy, and not to be bossed around all the time.

Both husband and wife have to change some parts of their lives as members of a family, maybe different jobs, activities, parties, etc. But I think that doesn't mean they have to stop enjoying life. I hate how some women, when they were little girls, where told that they could have dreams, and achieve anything they want. When they grew up, people that think a women role is to be just a mom and anything else just went and destroyed their dreams telling them that work is not their place to be, just her husband's. What happens next is that that women ends up being resented towards herself, her husband, or society in general.

My opinion is that God put the man as a leader, but a lot of people misunderstand that leadership. I think a woman can be anything she wants, while it's not interferring with her family and God. There should be no place for judgement on how a certain family works, since all families are different and not all women have the same personalities.
Some are curious, enjoy being out and working, and talk and give strong opinions, like me . Thats why I couldn't marry a guy that takes the leader thing to a booss thing. Well, actually, nobody should marry a guy who thinks he is your boss.

 

[Jullianna]

Romans 13 1 Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. 2 Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. 3 For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and you will be commended. 4 For the one in authority is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for rulers do not bear the sword for no reason. They are God’s servants, agents of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. 5 Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also as a matter of conscience.

I was trained to obey and respect authority unless I was asked to do something that would cause me to disobey God or the laws of the land. The men who worked with me were expected to do exactly the same and the above scripture requires that men do exactly the same, so for me it's not an equality issue.

 

[thimsrebma]

I belive it is important to submit to authority by following the rules. But I think it is equally as important to question things that don't seem to be right or you don't understand.

 

[rainacorn]

Submission in the context of a marriage isn't about control, it's about trust.

If you can't trust a man to properly lead your household (meaning you, your children, your children's spouses, etc), then it's not a man you should ever ever ever ever ever consider marrying.

You submit to your husband as to the Lord... meaning you trust him to lead you and your family in the right direction, even when you aren't super sure about it. It's hard for us to do because there aren't many men that are deserving of that kind of trust.

 

[thimsrebma]

I belive it is important to submit to authority by following the rules. But I think it is equally as important to question things that don't seem to be right or you don't understand.

I forgot to add that this is expecially important when it comes to jobs.

I know some jobs ask or better yet tell their employees to do some things that can be deceptive, misleading or striaght up ungodly things.

If you feel something is against your better judgement question it. Dont say to your boss "Why do you want me to do that?" Try saying "By doing _________(what they told you to do)< what is the outcome you are looking for."

I think the same thing goes for spouses too. Don't say to your husband when taking a road trip "Why do we have to go that way? This way is easier." try "Honey, have you driven that way before?"

The idea of questioning things is to find out motive, not to be undermining. And pick your battles wisely.

 

[TDWP22]

i always question authority (dont really care who it is) but as long as what they say is proven and is understandable i will submit to it...but if i see something wrong, i will either fight or disobey and leave...if the authority is a pushover, i might explode. i have a problem, and that is that i dont talk when my fuse runs out, i have a very long fuse though (i get it from my mom)

 

[Pheonix]

Hello there, fellow singles!!

After reading through some of the excellent threads we have going regarding submission, I was just wondering, how good are you when it comes to submitting to authority?

All my life, I have been known as a "goody two shoes" but I assure you, I have my moments! I tend to question everything and as you can tell from my posts, have few qualms about confronting ideas, rules, or mandates I feel strongly about (I DO try to be respectful, though!)

However, I often wonder--ARE MANY OF US SINGLE BECAUSE GOD IS WAITING FOR US TO LEARN HOW TO PROPERLY SUBMIT TO AUTHORITY? Perhaps one of the reasons WE are waiting so long is because GOD is waiting on us to allow Him to work on things like this within our own hearts.

Several years ago I decided that it will be awkward to suddenly have to submit to a husband if I'm not already somehow practicing this concept in real life. So, after much thought and prayer, I decided I would submit all the major decisions in my life to two of the most important men in my life--my father, and my best male friend of 9 years, who also happens to be incarcerated (each one knows me best in different areas of my life.)

Now, don't be deceived into thinking this has been easy. My male friend and I have especially strong wills and when my temper gets the best of me, I have, more than once, told him he can kiss my Blessed Assurance. But, I'm learning, and I'm very thankful that God has given me patient, LONG-SUFFERING people to see me through!!! And, I've made up my mind that if we bump heads over an issue and I feel God tugging at my heart, I will go with what they tell me, even if I disagree.

Ladies, we may feel as if we're somehow "cheated"--the wife is told to submit to the husband--BUT, what has to be kept in mind is that the HUSBAND is ALSO required to submit--to the LORD. Jesus told husbands that they are to love their wives, cherish them, be willing to suffer and die for them as He did for the church, and, be submitted to the Father as Jesus was submitted to His Father's will. As you can see, being a husband is a HUGE responsibility. Men do not in any way, shape, or form, get away with an "easier" calling within marriage. The husband is NOT the "ultimate boss" of the marriage--GOD is!!

I have a very dear mentor who told me of a time when she wanted to lend money to a certain person both she and her husband knew. In fact, she felt God was telling her to do so--but her husband had a bad feeling and said no. She was upset, but chose to submit to his decision. She believes God did want her to lend money to that person, but that He was also testing her willingness to submit to her husband.

Keep in mind that if your husband is keeping you from doing something God wants you to do, we, as Christian wives, are to love and support our husbands' decisions (unless, of course, he's telling us to go against God's will--for example, if he wants to bring pornography into the marriage.) If our husband is somehow wrong, we have to trust that he is under GOD's authority and that God Himself will handle the matter if our husband is somehow making the wrong decision.

How do you all of you feel? How well do you submit to authority, and do you feel this is impacting your readiness for a spouse? Do you feel God may be waiting for you to learn to submit before He sends you "the one", or do you feel this has nothing to do with the fact that you're single?

Sorry if I missed something, but could you perhaps mention what happened as a result of not giving that person the money? and why did the husband have a bad feeling? what was the person needing money for?

its all well and good to say its bad to not give people money when they need it, but let me mention something from my life.

A few years ago I decided to help someone out who needed money, they said they were going to pay me back. I was advised by several people not to give this person anything. a few weeks later they were no where to be found and I found out they had used the money for drugs. not the pharmacy kind either.

a second instance I lent someone else money cause I had lots and they needed it to pay rent and whatever. at the time I didn't need the money, so I lent it to them. The end result was that they went nearly broke and so did I when work got very scarce.

the problem is when you have a family you have to balance your finances and how much and what you give with the requirements of what your family needs. and I'm sorry to say it to all you ladies, but in goods eyes, that is the husbands responsibility. I'm not saying that the wife can't or shouldn't help, but at the end of the day it is the husband who has to answer for the well being of the family. God won't ask the wife why she gave money to a bunch of homeless people and nearly caused her children to starve.

I know I'm being a bit extreme, but hopefully you see my point. I've seen a number of women who have no regard for the effort their significant other is putting into keeping the family in house and home, the result is she is spending the family into debt all the while complaining that her partner is never around and always at work. What else could she expect when she spends more on clothing or whatever than they make. no I'm not talking clothes for the kids.

sorry for the rant. I just think that when we have these kind of conversations with those of the other gender, we tend to enter them with predetermined ideas and fail to listen when the other side speaks, probably the whole solidarity thing, or maybe its because we just don't want to hear the truth.

sorry if you ladies disagree.

 

[Pheonix]

My opinion is that God put the man as a leader, but a lot of people misunderstand that leadership. I think a woman can be anything she wants, while it's not interferring with her family and God. There should be no place for judgement on how a certain family works, since all families are different and not all women have the same personalities.
Some are curious, enjoy being out and working, and talk and give strong opinions, like me . Thats why I couldn't marry a guy that takes the leader thing to a booss thing. Well, actually, nobody should marry a guy who thinks he is your boss.

a good leader listens to idea and hears opinions collects as much information as possible about the decision to be made and then makes a call. It might be wrong or it might be right, but the point is in the end the leader is the one that has to accept responsibility for the decision made whether good or bad. a good leader doesn't dictate, and quite frankly in the context of marriage, if you can't trust the person you are dating or engaged to to make good decisions at least once in a while, then you have no business getting any deeper into the relationship than you already are. that goes for men and women it goes both ways.

 

[violakat]

I respect everything you're saying though!! And you ladies make excellent points which could be a thread all on its own--when does one choose to obey God over obeying a husband...

When one's husband is asking them to commit murder, one should obey God and not the husband. A little over the top, I know, but you get the point.

Basically, if your husband asked you to commit some sin, you should obey your husband, but rather God.

 

[violakat]

When one's husband is asking them to commit murder, one should obey God and not the husband. A little over the top, I know, but you get the point.

Basically, if your husband asked you to commit some sin, you should obey your husband, but rather God.

Meant to say not obey your husband, but rather God.